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Fuck You And This Is Why


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Seriously you guys, what the fuck happened to the VHL? We used to have such a great mix of teams here; we’d have those who would try valiantly to get to play hockey after the season’s finished because they’re weird and then there were those who were committed to the prospect of being the league’s bitch for the year. But now, that’s all changed as for some reason, the pussies that run each and every team in this league can’t fully commit to being bottom of the barrel. I want to suck, I want to be an absolutely terrible hockey player, I don’t want to play hockey after the season’s finished. But I can’t be a one-man tanking machine for fuck’s sake, I need a crew! Where are the Dwayne Chocolates? Where are the Snaxxxarraxxes? Where are the Reficual 1334s? Where are my boys that are going to join me in my plight in being the absolute worst at this sport? You want me to play with guys that actually deserve to be in the VHL? FUCK YOU! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! It’s nigh on impossible for me to fulfill the dream when I know full well I’m gonna have to join a team with guys that have phone numbers for TPE counts!


No, but seriously you guys are great, good to see that we're getting closer to the point of having 10 respectable teams each year. But also fuck you because I have dumb objectives.

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