Claimed:The Pajodcast Player Agency: Part 10 - We totally skipped some story [FINAL: 6/6]

[Jericho 917]

The Pajodcast Player Agency: Part 10

We totally skipped some story

 

It had been a long season for Daniel Braxton. He was used to facing action every day, putting his body and life on the line both on the ice and on the battlefield. He was accustomed to facing long hours with no breaks on a daily basis from the day he signed with Kyle Snow both as a player and as a mentor.

 

What he wasn't used to was being really fucking bored.

 

The last action he'd seen was when his protege, Jax Barnstormer had been a draftee, back when Blades of Steel was trying to murder the Pajodcast Agency's players. Since then Barnstormer had been drafted really late to Stockholm and sat on a bench cutting oranges. The Agency had decided on a shift in regime that would have Kyle Snow succeed Chris Miller as The New York Americans GM, which would have had Jax bypass the draft and join Brick Wahl on New York. Unfortunately, in his final days as commissioner, Victor [REDACTED] had tied Snow and Miller up in so much red tape that they hadn't been able to make the declaration official until after the draft, sending Barnstormer into the draft with an incredibly low value.

 

He was picked up in the second round by Stockholm, a team that already had a starting goalie as well as a prospect in the minors. When Snow had reached out to talk contract negotiations with Stockholm GM Glass Joe, he'd assured Snow that Barnstormer would be splitting the games with Blaine Olynick 50/50. Snow had Barnstormer tentatively sign the contract with the understanding that if Glass Joe honoured his arrangement that Barnstormer would be willing to accept a trade when the time came to be shipped out.

 

During a subsequent meeting with Snow, Miller and Ryan Power, the three men agreed that Braxton was to accompany Branstormer to Sweden in secret to watch over the rookie, as he was incredibly exposed in a country that the Agency didn't have much power in. Braxton was smuggled into the country and stayed at a small ranch in Nykoping, where Kyle Snow's younger sister had lived on an exchange, so as to avoid having to produce a credit card at a hotel.

 

Braxton never left the ranch except to attend practices and games in secret. So for the last half a season he'd been sitting on his ass. And unfortunately he wasn't the only one. Glass Joe was either a liar or a terrible mathematician, because of the 42 games the Viking has played, Barnstormer had only played in 15 of them. The rookie was wasting away on the bench of Don Cherry's least favorite hockey country instead of splitting games in New York and learning how to play with Brick Wahl.

 

 

Braxton could see that Barnstormer was not happy, but wasn't able to contact him in any form without risking being discovered. He did inform Kyle Snow of the situation and the agent assured him that he would be taking care of matters. Barnstormer was only on a two season contract, and though he was inked for the following season as well, bad faith had been shown on Glass Joe's part. He'd gotten a signature under conditions that hadn't been met, and wasn't living up to his end of the bargain. The trade deadline was rapidly approaching, so Barnstormer was going to have to sit tight this season, but there were two men who were determined to see him off of that team, and neither was accustomed to not getting what they wanted.

[Ninetyfourgoalie 168]

Content: 3/3 - Met the minimum number of words and overall an interesting story. Just a little hard to follow at points.

Grammar: 2/2 - Very good for the most part with some comma issues scattered throughout, didn't detract from the article too much.

 

The last action he'd seen was when his protege, Jax Barnstormer had been a draftee, back when Blades of Steel was trying to murder the Pajodcast Agency's players. --> comma after Jax Barnstormer, I would avoid using the one after draftee

Since then Barnstormer had been drafted really late --> comma after then

The Agency had decided --> lowercase agency unless it's something I'm not aware of

Appearance: 1/1 - Nothing to complain about here

Overall: 6/6

[Jericho 917]

Agency is being used as a proper name in this case.

[CoachReilly 688]

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