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Claimed:Go Daddy Secretly A Pornographic Website


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Go Daddy Secretly A Pornographic Website



NEW YORK - It didn't even take a full season for disaster to once again strike the Victory Hockey League. However, this time it appears as if the VHL was simply an innocent bystander caught in the middle of an unfolding controversy. Popular web domain registrar Go Daddy, which apparently hosts the VHL's vast database of historical and current information, has recently been identified as a major distributor of pornographic materials by the FBI, including some materials considered highly illegal. While the investigation is being conducted, all domains run through Go Daddy have been shut down, leaving customers of the embattled company unable to access their data, with the VHL being one of those customers.


"It's frustrating," said VHL commissioner Victor Alfredsson. "We've worked so hard in order to get past the issues we've had with our previous website and now that we finally seemed to be settling in, this happens. I'm beginning to suspect either our server was built on top of the ancient burial grounds of the SHL or that Jardy's alcoholism is angering a god of some sort."




No arrests have been made as of the time of print, but founder and former CEO Bob Parsons is believed to be the one behind the sultry secrets of the company he built up. The FBI's probe, launched over four years ago during the height of Go Daddy's surge in domains and users, sought to identify Parsons' role in the scheme, along with how much he profited from the pornography enterprise.


"In retrospect, it sure isn't that surprising," sighed Agent Raymond Fonzarelli. "I mean, the more or less complete and utter dependence of sex to sell their image and garner publicity. The way they got people to go to their website to view the banned commercials and risque, appalling content. Just a clever ruse to sell more sex under the guise of web domains. Almost embarrassing that it took a four-year long federal probe to figure it all out. Almost."


Current CEO Blake Irving is cooperating fully with authorities and is reportedly maintaining his innocence, as unlikely as it would seem to be as the head of the company.




"Mr. Irving is fully cooperating with us," stated Agent Fonzarelli. "I can offer no further comments on that matter."


If it seems impossible to say that the VHL continued to use the services of Go Daddy knowing that they were secretly pushing out pornography, that might be because it is.


"How were we supposed to know it would come to this?" stated a man responding to the name of Jardy. "We were sending them a vigorous and consistent flow of hard cash and we were immensely satisfied upon the conclusion of all of our transactions. They were always firm in their stature and demeanor and were always looking to experiment with us in order to reach the climax we desired. We could not have been more pleased with how Go Daddy treated us, regardless of how many boobies they tried to sell us."


Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, along with being a real cool guy. He enjoys making detailed, concise notes on how many times his co-workers fall asleep on the job, trying to perfect the recipe for liberty and finishing his thesis that proves that Joe Namath is a bitch.

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Content: 3/3 - Oops. Missed this one. Nevertheless, the VHL has once again put another problem behind it. I think we've had our fair share of problems recently, so let's hope the next 10 seasons are major problem free.


Grammar: 2/2 - Yuppers.


Appearance: 1/1 - Solid as usual.


Overall: 6/6

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