Jericho 917 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 One day Jax Barnstormer was walking through the woods when he came across a rabid mongoose. The two engaged in hand to hand combat, with the goaltender easily being the victor. After snapping the bird's neck, he used it for bait and caught himself a big ass motherfucking moose. After cooking the moose Barnstormer feasted upon its carcass and used his flute to call his eagle friend for help. The eagle descended from the heavens and carried Jax into the sky to soar among the clouds. Chillin' with his Eagle friend After dive bombing a few geese Jax released the talons of his avian friend and plummeted to the Earth, landing gracefully in the center of town. As soon as he landed, a flash-mob broke out, and Jax joined in with perfectly synchronized dance. Several ladies began to swoon at his amazing dance moves and asked him if he could persuade him to join them for a drink. Jax accepted and the group made their way to the nearest bar, where they proceeded to engage in the noble sport of beer pong. After several hours and a mild amount of intoxication later, Jax heard a scuffle outside. Upon investigating he found his mentor, Daniel Braxton engaged in a fist fight with the entire Season 26 Seattle Bear roster. Despite superior numbers, Braxton was handling himself well, in part because the Americans are superior to the Bears in every way, and in part because Nikolai Lebedev wasn't really trying due to his mildly homoerotic feelings towards Braxton. With Barnstormer's help the former and current American players were able to dispatch of the elderly Bear alumni, only to turn and find a mob of angry locals swarming them. Barnstormer had totally forgotten that they were in the middle of Seattle, and that beating up local heroes might not endear them to the people of Seattle. Channeling his inner Niko Bellic, Barnstormer and Braxton stole the nearest car and ran through the crowd of angry citizens, breaking a few legs in the process. It wasn't long before the Seattle Police Department were in pursuit. Barnstormer couldn't shake them for the life of him, so Braxton was forced to delve into his disturbingly large supply of molotov cocktails and start lighting a few hoods on fire. Eventually a helicopter joined the chase, so the rocket launcher came out. Two charred helicopter remains later the police decided to turn back, and the pair made their getaway. Cool Guys don't look at explosions Returning to New York the pair of players were surprised to see that the girls from the bar had been in the backseat the whole time, and neither had said a word during the drive. Braxton sent them to the airport and figured that they'd be ok from there. he then returned to MSG, where he'd been living since retiring in a supply closet under the upper bowl. Barnstormer returned to practice and everything went back to normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOOM 8,661 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I see only one inaccuracy with this article. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,844 Posted July 6, 2015 Admin Share Posted July 6, 2015 At least someone else is still living in S26. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ball 453 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I see only one inaccuracy with this article. Why is that bird attacking that lion? BOOM 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,844 Posted July 6, 2015 Admin Share Posted July 6, 2015 Why is that bird attacking that lion?bird... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ball 453 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 One day Jax Barnstormer was walking through the woods when he came across a rabid mongoose. The two engaged in hand to hand combat, with the goaltender easily being the victor. After snapping the bird's neck, he used it for bait and caught himself a big ass motherfucking moose. Bird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tylar 219 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Content: 3/3 - I hate geese, so I approve of the geese bombing. Interesting story telling... Nice little off-season you had.. Fairly entertaining. Grammar: 2/2 - Nothing really. molotov = Molotov there. he then = there. He then Appearance: 1/1 - Nice.Overall: 6/6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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