Claimed:Pierre McGuire's Live Coverage of the S45 VHLM Dispersal Draft [Final 6/6]

[Daniel 565]

This was originally posted at http://www.vhlforum.com/index.php?/topic/23474-live-s45-vhml-dispersal-draft-coverage/, however, I spent loads of time writing it so I thought I may as well get some TPE for it. I decided against editing it at all in order to keep the frantic, McGuire-ian feel to it all.

 

"Wham! It's everybody's favourite pundit Regis Pierre McGuire here, and oh boy you guys are in for a treat tonight! S45 VHLM Dispersal action coming at you live, and I'll be here every step of the way to give you useless facts and pointless trivia about each player! Stay tuned!

 

 

"Oh boy, it's getting close! I'll be very surprised if we don't see young phenom Zach Parechkin go first here. Half Russian, half Canadian, all monster this big body prescence from Burnaby, BC can do it all. And you know else is from Burnaby? Only a guy called Joe Sakic, Parechkin's not quite Sakic but he's going straight to the top, mark my words! Just under three minutes to go folks!" 

 

 

"Just had word from Darren Dreger on the floor!  I'm hearing that proceedings are slightly late getting underway."

 

 

1. BERN ROYALS - ZACH PERECHKIN

2. BERN ROYALS - RYAN PRICE

 

"BOOM! Just like that the Bern Royals jump right in and transform their team by adding Parechkin and Price, a big body prescence in net from Chicago! And you know who plays in Chicago? Bryan Bickell of Orono, Ontario! If he's anything to go by this kid's a winner!"

 

 

3. MOSCOW RED WOLVES - SHAUN MULLER

4.BERN ROYALS - JORDAN MAVERICK

5. MOSCOW RED WOLVES - ARCTURUS MENGSK

6. OTTAWA LYNX - LUCAS ZHUKENOV

 

"UNBELIEVABLE! The picks are flying in, with the Red Wolves bolstering their attack by adding Shaun Muller, from Germany! I've never visited Germany but I imagine Muller's an efficient sort of guy! Bern go off the board and pick Jordan Maverick, but trust me, this guy's a steal at 4, Moscow pick up Arcturus Mengsk, another mighty German, just like famed Edmonton Oiler, LEON DRAISAITL! And the legendary Ottawa Lynx add towering big bodied d-man Lucas Zhukenov, oh baby this kid's a force to be reckoned with on the blue-line!" 

 

 

7. Moscow Red Wolves - World B. Free

8. Brampton Blades - Saul Hackett

 

"They just don't stop coming! Moscow picks up the infamous d-man World B. Free, and let me say this, this guy's German, but he's not melting like German chocolate, and he's got all the meat of German sausage. What a big body prescence! And Brampton! The hometown team of the notorious Rick Nash acquire Saul Hackett a guy with one mode; GO!"

 

 

9. BERN ROYALS - SEAN BLACKER

10. BERN ROYALS - MATHIEU BAPTISTE

11. MOSCOW RED WOLVES - BITCH HIGGINS

 

"Mmmhmm baby they don't stop! The soon to be legendary Bern Royals add Irish centre Sean Blacker, a guy who's rode that luck all the way to the top! What a star! Mathieu Baptiste too! What an acquisition, a rugged, goal-scoring big body presence up the middle from Marieville, Quebec, near enough the same place as Pascal Dupuis of the world famous Pittsburgh Penguins! What are they putting in the water?! Bitch Higgins to Moscow is a great pick up, he's from Denmark, just like elite Winnipeg Jets prospect Nikolaj Ehlers. These kids are something to behold!"

 

 

12. BRAMPTON BLADES: MAXIME DESCHAMPS

13. MOSCOW RED WOLVES: JACE HINES

14. MOSCOW RED WOLVES: TANNER HYNES

15. BERN ROYALS: KOL MIKAELSON

16. SASKATOON WILD: JONATHAN KILLEEN

 

"UNBELIEVABLE! Brampton bolster their side with Deschamps! From France! Moscow get Jace Hines AND Tanner Hynes, two stud picks who are no relation I assure you. The Royals show you just why they've earned that name and pick up the princely Kol Mikaelson! This fabulous Finn by way of Ottawa will leave his mark! But the big news, the champion Saskatoon Wild go way off the board and pick up young centre Jonathan Killeen! Now this kid isn't a big guy but he's got hands like you've never seen, and guess where he's from? St. Catherines, ON, hometown of legendary Buffalo Sabres winger, Andrew Peters. If that doesn't bode well for the kid then nothing will. Mark my words, this kid's a steal!"

 

 

17. BERN ROYALS: BENJAMIN TUMACK

18. OTTAWA LYNX: ETHAN HENDERSON

19. MOSCOW RED WOLVES: BOBBY BOUCHER

20. MOSCOW RED WOLVES: LUCAS GALEANO

21. BRATISLAVA WATCHMEN: MICHAEL BURCH

22. OTTAWA LYNX: GEOFF REID

23. OSLO STORM: SUPER COCK

24. SASKATOON WILD: NEILS SKOVGAARD

 

"Did someone say Round 3 round-up?! Bern adds big, bad Benjamin Tumack, a human wrecking ball with a shot like lightning from Edmonton, home of the world famous Oil Kings and former hometown of former NHL d-man Theo Peckham! Ottawa picks up hotly tipped Ethan Henderson, a real-deal winger from Hamilton, Ontario, which gives him something in common with the legendary enforcer Marty McSorley! The Red Wolves add Bobby Boucher and Lucas Galeano, and let me tell you, woe betide the teams that have to face these hot prospects next season. Ottawa play it smart and pick up Geoff Reid, a mobile d-man from Germany, whilst Oslo add the brashly named Super Cock! What a ballsy guy! Saskatoon however go and hit another home run with the world class Neils Skovgaard, another Great Dane who's got it going on in a big way. What a stud pick!"

 

 

25. BERN ROYALS: JON PANIK

26. OTTAWA LYNX: THOMAS ANDERSSON

27. MOSCOW RED WOLVES: LUCAS VILLA

28. BRAMPTON BLADES: ZACH VOSS

29. BRATISLAVA WATCHMEN: FILIP LUNDQVIST

30. YUKON RUSH: LARS SIKTANC

31. OSLO STORM: KANE HAMILTON

32. SASKATOON WILD: KENNY KEELY

 

"What a round! The Royals add yet another young superstar in the making in big Jonny Panik, rough and tough d-man from Toronto, or as I call it, the 6! Ottawa goes smart and grabs Super Swede Thomas Andersson a left winger who'll have no trouble leaving you behind! Moscow go continental and select scintillating Spaniard Lucas Villa, this kid's on a fast track to greatness! Brampton get a big body presence in young St. Louis blueliner Zach Voss, this kid can break your body with hits, break your face with punches and break the net with goals; the full package! Bratislava add hot young goalie in Filip Lundqvist, he's got the skills of the king as well as his name! Yukon pick up an elite scoring talent in Lars Siktanc, but let me tell you, you don't want to be on the end of a check from this tough as nails Czech! Oslo gets English winger Kane Hamilton  but the Wild steal the headlines again as they go bold and select Kenny Keely, a Bulgarian who's as green as Saskatoon wheat but has the tools to shine. Kabam!"

 

 

33. BERN ROYALS: JAYDEN FASTH

34. OTTAWA LYNX: AIDAN ROZEL

35. MOSCOW RED WOLVES: PIERRE LUC-LEFRANCOIS
36. BRAMPTON BLADES: AZOR AHAI

37. BRATISLAVA WATCHMEN: MANHOLE SIEGFRIED

38. YUKON RUSH: BRANDON LAPHAM JR.

39. OSLO STORM: STUMPPELL AURINKOINEN

40. SASKATOON WILD: MATT GATSBY

 

"AND IT'S ALL OVER! Bern make one last bid to win it all by picking up nifty super Swede Jayden Fasth, young man honed his skills in Skelleftea with fellow country-mates, Erixon and Runblad, all three of them studs! Ottawa pick up Aidan Rozel and let me tell you something, this kid's 100% blue chip, dynamic, big body presence! Moscow grabs Pierre Luc-Lefrancois, big ol' d-man from Quebec, also home to Tampa Bay stud Jonathan Drouin! Brampton acquire Azor Ahai, light footed Irishman who knows how to put a biscuit in the basket, Bratislava add another sublime Swede in Manhole Siegfried, Yukon get Philly born winger Brandon Lapham Jr. who's got sky scraping hockey IQ and a world class wrister to match, whilst Oslo pick up another fab Finn in Stumppell Aurinkoinen Jr. Saskatoon close us out with Mr Irrevelevant, or in this case, Mr Relevant! Matt Gatsby is a star in the making, what a steal! Hailing from Florence, Ontario, just down the road from Sarnia, where the great Steven Stamkos honed his craft! This is Pierre McGuire signing off!"

 

 

So yeah, please take in consideration that this was done live, entirely independently. Thanks!

Edited September 2, 2015 by dankoa

[Tylar 219]

Content: 3/3 - I remember reading some of this on draft night and thought it was hilarious. It's pretty accurate Pierre as well. The Sabres legend Andrew Peters (Since i'm a Sabres fan). This is much better to read thinking of Pierre and in Pierre voice, cause it's pretty bang on. Really funny and creative. 

Grammar: 2/2 - I read this in Pierre Voice, so i might've missed some. Haha
prescence = presence (Twice)
 
Appearance: 1/1 - All those Pierre Pictures.

Overall: 6/6

[CowboyinAmerica 2,889]

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