BluObieZ 1,125 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) INT-CASINO-DAY As we look across the casino we see a man sleeping on a roulette table. His head is resting inside the roulette wheel as another man is trying to push him off the table. Casino Security keep an eye on them but do not stop them. The man on the table can be heard yelling “stop” and other things as we get closer. We finally see that it is Vladimir Putin and Sir William Covington III. William is laying on the table refusing to move so Putin gives up and starts to put chips on the back of William Putin 1 million on lower back, 1 million on left shoulder blade, 1 million on right shoulder blade Putin pauses for a second as he thinks Putin 1 Million on right buttocks William Don’t you dare touch my ass Putin grabs the roulette ball Putin No more bets Putin picks up Williams head out of the roulette wheel and spins the roulette wheel before dropping the ball in. Williams eyes go round and round watching the ball. Putin Call it out William Put my head down Putin lets go of his head which make William drop his head back in the wheel stopping it with his head. The ball ends up under William’s head. So Putin goes to push him off the table but as William is about to fall off the table we see the ball is in his mouth which he spits out and the ball lands on One Red. Putin celebrates as William finally falls off the table with a loud thud. The table flips over sending chips flying everywhere. Putin I win! I win!!!! The casino manager comes running to the big mess that Putin and William have created Putin I won! Manager No you didn’t Putin Excuse me? are you calling me a liar? Manager You two were messing around it was not a real game. We just let you two have your fun Putin I made bets, yes? Manager Yes… but in your “game” Putin But it was a game am I right? Manager Technically Putin Yes or no Manager Yes Putin So I win Manager Where did it land? Putin One Red The manager looks around at the destruction in disbelief Manager How on earth would I even know if that is accurate? Putin gets mad and grabs the manager by the hair and drags him to another roulette table. He slams the manager’s head onto the table so he can see the number one. Security inches towards the two men but the manager waves them off saying he is ok. Putin Can we agree that is the number one? Manager Yes Putin If you would go back in the footage you will see that I placed a million dollar bet on his left shoulder. His left shoulder cover the number one, the number four, Zero partially, the first twelve and one to eighteen. A very stupid argument can be made that that area also covered the number seven and Even. But we will ignore that. So the million dollars was spread on five places. I won three of those five. If you used your pea sized brain you would calculate that to two hundred thousand on each place. I lost four hundred thousand on Zero and four. But his shoulder hit on the number one, it hit on the first twelve and one to eighteen. Now as you stare at that number I will tell you how much you owe me. Putin thinks for a second Putin You owe me seven million four hundred thousand dollars. Which is on top of the original winning six hundred thousand dollar bet. Which brings the grand total of what you owe to eight million even. Because the payout is thirty five to one on number one which is seven million dollars. The payout on first twelve and one to eighteen is one to one. Which is four hundred thousand. Putin shoves the manager away Putin I want that all in one hundred dollar bills. The other bets I made on right shoulder, Lower back and right buttocks I lost. So that’s three point four million you morons won. Which is something I need to bring up the moron laying on the table. You should be happy. I only really made out with four million dollars of actual profit. Putin walks away leaving the manager on the ground and William still buried under the fallen roulette table. INT-VILLA-DAY Putin barges into the villa and is greeted by naked strippers and his pet tiger. Ahma is sprawled out on the couch in a shredded suit. Putin grabs a gun off a pillow that a stripper is holding and fires it in the air Putin Wake the fuck up Ahma falls off the couch and looks at Putin then at himself Ahma What happened to my suit? Putin pets his tiger Putin Oscar must have used you as a chew toy Ahma checks to see if he is bleeding Ahma He could have killed me Putin But he didn’t Ahma But he could have Putin sternly looks at Ahma Putin But… he… didn’t! Ahma Good point Putin Now say sorry to Oscar Ahma Sorry for what? Putin Accusing him of wanting to kill you Ahma I’m not saying sorry Putin Say it! If he wanted to kill you then you would be dead and he would be picking his teeth with your bones Ahma thinks for a second Ahma Sorry Oscar Oscar roars at Ahma which makes him hide behind a stripper. Putin laughs out loud Putin Like that skinny anorexic bitch will save you. All she eats is semen. Ahma looks around Ahma Where is the king? Putin Burried under a pile… Ahma Of cocaine? Putin glares at Ahma Putin No chips Ahma What flavour? I’m hungry Putin Casino chips you moron, if you would eat what he is buried in then you stomach would be worth around fifty million dollars Ahma Damn… but that reminds me I actually am hungry. Want some Porridge? Putin Porridge? You are asking me that if I want some Porridge? Are you fucked? Ahma No, I just have a hankering for some porridge and I am being a nice guy asking if you want some Putin Fuck yes I want some Porridge. Porridge is the shit Ahma Damn right it is EXT-POOL SIDE CABANA-DAY William stumbles towards a table as casino chips fall off him. People fight over the chips because each one is worth ten thousand or higher. William flops into a chair and lays his head on the table when a scantily clad waitress walks up to him and taps him on the shoulder Waitress The usual hangover meal? William Yes with an extra order of bacon and coffee. I have a hockey game today Waitress Oh yeah! The Debauchery start their season today William looks up at her in shock that she even knows what hockey is William Look, you don’t have to sound interested in the sport that you have no idea what it is. You are here to serve and look good. So do that. I am here to be drunk, high and an overall and general ass. I do my job to the “T” so take the hint and do yours Waitress I’m from Canada. I know what Hockey is William That’s nice and I’m human and I know what food is and you standing here is not getting me it. You can live without it but I cannot. So a little hustle would be appreciated. Twenty minutes later the waitress brings out the food for William who is passed out on his table. Fans are trying to bug him for autographs but he doesn’t even move. As she puts the food down on the table William pops his head up and begins to eat with his hands. People look on at the King, the man they came to see play hockey is eating like a King did in the medieval days. William looks at the crowd and shoves a kid into the pool William Leave me be ass clowns, bug me at the game People laugh and cheer as the leave because they all expect that from him. The kid who is now in pool screams out “again, again” as he takes the shove as an honor. William looks up at the waitress who brought him his food and then he takes a casino out of his pocket and gives it to here without even checking how much it is. William Keep the change you filthy animal She looks down to see that it’s a one hundred thousand dollar chip Waitress But? William I said keep the change She walks away. As William begins to eat again the waitress can be heard yelling “I QUIT!” INT-LOCKER ROOM-NIGHT William is drinking in his stall as he surrounded by other Debauchery players. Players like Robbie Zimmers the Debauchery owner, league owner and found and all around jackass. Robin Banks, Xavier Martinez and even Vladimir Putin. Robbie Zimmers stands in the middle off the locker room and raises a Champagne glass. Robbie Tonight we go into battle. Tonight is the first game on our road to greatness. Tonight we tell the world to fuck off. If… no when we score the first goal of game which will be the first one in franchise history at home. I will award that man five million dollars. On top of that if we get a shutout I will give our goalie five million dollars which we will easily make in ticket sales tonight. INT-PRESS CONFERENCE-NIGHT Robbie I am very proud of how my team played tonight. We may have been outshot somehow but we scored eleven goals on twenty nine shots. It may not have been our first game of the season but it was the first one on home ice. In the locker room before the game I told my players that I will pay the player who gets the first goal on home ice five million dollars. Well I will hold my word on that. Robbie reaches into his pocket and pulls out five million dollars in cash and holds it up so people can take pictures Robbie This goes to the man who got the first ever home goal for the Debauchery but sadly not the first ever goal here at the brand new Alexia Casino Arena. That went to some dick bag on the other team. But the man who gets this money had a hat trick and a monstrous seven point game. That man is… well… Me! Of course it is. Who else would it be? Oh and before I go. I want to show respect to our rookie Sir William Covington III the rightful king of England for scoring his first ever pro goal… Also! Xavier Martinez had the other hat trick of the night. So he gets one million dollars for doing that. Robbie walks away but as he does he shouts Robbie We made ten million dollars at the gate today! Ten million dollars! This is too fucking easy. The episode fades to black. Edited January 26, 2016 by KingRobbie Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/27615-claimedlife-in-times-s02eo1-millions-of-shenanigans-reviewed/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahma 1,428 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Damn right Porridge! Porridge power! Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/27615-claimedlife-in-times-s02eo1-millions-of-shenanigans-reviewed/#findComment-306481 Share on other sites More sharing options...
evrydayimbyfuglien 600 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 ...I have no idea what I just read. That being said, there were some grammatical errors but it was also in the dialog so I'm not sure if it was intentional or not. Not sure how many more of these I can read but definitely not shortage of creativity with this. Nice job! Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/27615-claimedlife-in-times-s02eo1-millions-of-shenanigans-reviewed/#findComment-306495 Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowboyinAmerica 2,889 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Claimed Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/27615-claimedlife-in-times-s02eo1-millions-of-shenanigans-reviewed/#findComment-307760 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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