Tsbagsuph 62 Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 (edited) KENDRICK E. TSBAGSUPH-DIKS' BIRTHDAY PARTY Yesterday was a big, big day. Yesterday was Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks birthday. With the Young Stars Game approaching, the coach offered all of the players the night of to go and celebrate and it was a joyous occasion. That was until a major incident happened that all stemmed from a minor joke. Photo from the birthday party. Kendrick is wearing the rainbow shirt, with GM Hamilton presenting the cake, and Ted Doughty in the red hat acting a little too excited. Thor Odinsson was grabbing a round of drinks, Kai Roberts asked for a Jack and Coke, and Thor asked if Pepsi was okay. Like any rational person, Kai said it was fine, and the team continued socializing. When Thor returned, he gathered $5 per drink from each teammate (because he’s cheap like that), Kai handed him $5 and accepted his drink, only to realize that he was exclusively drinking cola. Kai asked what happened to his drink and Thor responded, “You said Pepsi was ok”. Kai, perplexed, said the drink tasted like it was only Pepsi, to which Thor stated, “Nope, it’s a Pepsi and Coke”. Naturally, you would assume that Kai was outraged that a) Thor didn’t get him any liquor for his drink and b') that he was charged $3 too much for a soft drink (really, the whole team is fucking cheap), but that wasn’t the case. Kai laughed. It was Jacob Worboy who threw a whiskey glass at Thor, shattering as it hit him in the head, and opening a large gash directly above Thor’s eye. He yelled, “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TAINT THAT PERFECTLY GOOD COKE WITH THAT PEPSI SWINE! YOU LOKI-NUT GOBBLING MOTHER FUCKER. YOUR FAMILY TREE MUST BE A CACTUS BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING PRICK. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU’RE NOT AROUND! BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG IDIOT WHO THINKS HE’S FUNNY BUT YOU’RE FUCKING NOT. GO DIE!” God dammit Thor is attractive Thor ran away to bathroom as he was visibly upset and still bleeding from his eye. Kol Mikaelson, Thor’s line mate, took offence and stabbed Coca Cola in the hand with a fork. He stood up and let go a beastly scream, exerting his masculinity. Joe Shenanigans kneed Kol as he was screaming. Jeff Hamilton pulled a knife on the team, yelling at everyone else to calm down or else “BITCHES GONNA GET STABBED”. Kendrick left the scene to check on Thor. Thor was still visibly upset, trying to wash his wound by splashing it with water from a bidet. Thor claimed that he was fine, so Kendrick used the stall beside him to have a quick fap. Unfortunately, this is when Ted entered the bathroom. It is unknown if he has entered the bathroom to check on Thor’s condition, or if he followed Kendrick. It didn’t matter. Once he heard Kendrick fapping, Ted kicked Thor in the ribs, fracturing two of them, in order to open up the bidet so he could stand on it and look over the stall at Kendrick going to town. Upon seeing this, Kendrick promptly pulled up his pants and barged out of the restaurant. Video footage retrieved from Ted's cell phone. While unable to confirm, it is believed that this is footage of Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks Needless to say, practice the next morning was awkward. Jacob and Thor, who now had two broken ribs and a scar above his eye, wouldn’t look at each other. Ted wouldn’t stop looking at Kendrick. Kol had an extra-large, extra-protective jockstrap on. GM Hamilton was wearing oven mitts attached to his hands with duct tape to prevent him from holding a knife. It was the worst practice in Bern history, but you gotta tear it all down before you can build it back up. That’s what Bern has done. Everything is destroyed, but it is ready to be repaired in order to push this team into cup contention and ultimately get these players read for both the playoffs and offseason festivities. Meant for the 12th to 19th. Edited April 11, 2016 by Tsbagsuph eaglesfan036 and sterling 2 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/29519-claimedkendrick-e-tsbagsuph-diks-birthday-party-reviewed/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglesfan036 4,602 Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 you are one entertaining person Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/29519-claimedkendrick-e-tsbagsuph-diks-birthday-party-reviewed/#findComment-327226 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DollarAndADream 3,356 Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Feedback: This was never officially reviewed. I should have just claimed the review back when I read it... Damn, you write some amazing articles, bud. Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/29519-claimedkendrick-e-tsbagsuph-diks-birthday-party-reviewed/#findComment-332828 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim 182 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Claimed Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/29519-claimedkendrick-e-tsbagsuph-diks-birthday-party-reviewed/#findComment-334205 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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