Claimed:Family Visits To Help Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks Train For The YSG [Reviewed]

[Tsbagsuph 62]

FAMILY VISITS TO HELP KENDRICK E. TSBAGSUPH-DIKS TRAIN FOR THE YSG

 

Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks is expected to compete in this year’s Young Stars Game and his family has come to town to celebrate.  Aside from his father and mother (whose names cannot be remembered at this time), Kendrick’s three brothers, Phil E. Tsbagsuph-Diks, Jack E. Tsbagsuph-Diks, and Daniel E. Tsbagsuph-Diks all came to town to visit Kendrick.  Now I know what you’re thinking.  Why do all of their middle names begin with the letter “E”?  Well, apparently their father lost a bet at a young age, their father lost a bet with Exxon Mobil Corp.  The bet: Could Mr. Tsbagsuph stick a piece of tinfoil in his peehole and the other piece in an electrical socket and not pull out for 5 whole seconds.  The stakes: If Exxon won, all of Mr. Tsbagsuph’s children must have the middle name Exxon.  If Mr. Tsbagsuph wins, he gets a ham and cheese sandwich.  Needless to say, he lost, but I digress as this is not really crucial to the story.

 

 

Jack, Daniel, and Phil E. Tsbagsuph-Diks from left to right.

 

With Phil, Jack, and Daniel in town, the three of them planned to go celebrate be attending a Swiss strip club.  Unfortunately, everything in Switzerland is really, really fucking expensive, and nobody could afford the entrance fee, forget about the cost of an actual lap dance.  Instead, they decided to go to the hockey rink and help Kendrick train for the upcoming YSG game.  Kendrick’s brother’s skills in hockey were varying.  Phil is quite an accomplished figure skater.  In fact, he played Hanz in the Disney edition of Frozen on ice.  Unfortunately, his only experience with a stick is with his homo-erotic lover’s dick (his lover’s name is known as Mr. Power, presumably because he is the top in the relationship.  While we don’t know for sure, we also assume he is a bear and that Phil is a twonk).  Daniel doesn’t have any experience on ice, but he routinely roller skates at local discos in California.  Once again, no experience with a stick.  Finally, Jack is a world class ringette player meaning he has experience with a stick and using skates.  Unfortunately, he was awful at hockey.

 

 

Frozen on ice. You should watch it. It is a good show and fun for the whole family.

 

Throughout the entire evening, Kendrick tried to work on his passing with his brothers.  Daniel was not able to stand, Phil couldn’t hold his stick properly, and Jack kept trying to take the pass by stopping it on the top of the puck.  Instead, Kendrick thought that he could practice his shot.  Phil tried going in the net but didn’t have any equipment.  A light shot hit Phil in the shin and he went down.  A stretcher was needed to take Phil to the hospital.  It turned out that Phil had light bruising on the skin in front of his tibia.

 

Phil's bruised shin.

 

At this point, Jack and Daniel decided they were done for the day.  Needless to say, Kendrick did not get any better or any more practice for the Young Stars Game.  When this game finally comes around, expect an underwhelming performance from Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks.

 

Edited April 11, 2016 by Tsbagsuph

[Tim 182]

Claimed

[FacePuncher 1,343]

Review:

Sticking electric tin foil up your urethra......A creepy ass picture of Olaf from frozen on ice(which is already ironic since frozen is like entirely on ice, hence why it's called FROZEN!), that's just too much. Also if your dad is Mr. Tsbagsuph, does that mean your mom is Mrs. Diks?

 

546 words

[FacePuncher 1,343]

@evrydayimbyfuglien