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Claimed:Deadly Tide S01E04 "Path of least resistance" [Reviewed]


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INT-A380-DAY

William is sitting in closed off office with Putin as they are looking at a world map. William looks down at the map then up at the TV screens in the office that have footage from around the world.

 

William

Where in the world are we going Putin ole pal?

 

Putin shrugs

 

Putin

No fucking clue

 

William

Well… that’s very reassuring that you have no clue. We now have a bunch of idiots that depend on us

 

Putin points at William

 

Putin

You brought them

 

William flips off Putin

 

William

Stupid Vincent insisted we help some people. If I knew the father was a moron I would have just shot him in the head

 

Putin

More people mean more trouble, more complications and more mouths to feed

 

William

What do you suggest we do?

 

INT-GEO-DAY

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The car is silent as Robert drives on a disserted road. Kendrick has a look of anger mixed with annoyance on his face as he sits there

 

Robert

We could have saved him

 

Kendrick looks at Robert as if he has lost it

 

Kendrick

Who? Jimmy?

 

Robert

Who else? Santa Claus?... wait that would be actually cool. We would ride in his sleigh and the zombies can’t get us up there

 

Kendrick is dumbfounded by what he is hearing

 

Kendrick

Wait… what? Santa Claus? Are you that fucking stupid?

 

Robert

Must you swear all the time?

 

Kendrick

I must when around people like you and… ROBBIE!!!!

 

Robert

That guy sounds so cool

 

Kendrick

He’s not… but anyways you said you would like to ride in Santa’s sleigh? Do you not know that Santa is not real? It’s just a story grownups made up for kids

 

Robert

You’re lying

 

Kendrick

No I’m not

 

Robert

I’ve seen him

 

Kendrick

Where? The mall?

 

Robert

Yes… how did you know?

 

Kendrick

That’s a hired drunk that cannot get a job so once a year he gets loaded and sits there talking to little kids

 

Robert

And me

 

Kendrick

What?

 

Robert

I go every year

 

Kendrick

But you’re like thirty

 

Robert

Thirty two but thank you

 

Kendrick

It wasn’t a complement

 

 EXT-FOREST-NIGHT

Jarpi is running through the woods with Ahma on his shoulder. He finally comes to a stop and instead of placing Ahma down on the ground softly he tosses Ahma down

 

Jarpi

We are stopping here for the night

 

Ahma looks around as he rubs his head

 

Ahma

Here? Can’t they uh get us here?

 

Jarpi

Where else can we go?

 

Ahma

How far are we from Helsinki?

 

EXT-JARDY FAMILY RANCH/FARM-DAY

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The llama carriage rolls up to the farm house that is perched on top of a small hill. Jardy hops off the front of the carriage and looks around the farm.

 

@JardyB10

Home sweet home

 

Higgins gets off the carriage and looks around

 

@Higgins

Looks pretty shitty to me. You grew up here?

 

Jardy snaps at Higgins

 

Jardy

You watch your filthy mouth when you talk about my home

 

Higgins

It’s a farm bro. Calm down

 

Jardy shoves Higgins

 

Jardy

I said watch your filthy mouth

 

Jardy starts walking towards the house

 

Jardy

I brought you homos here because I have something that will…

 

Higgins

Be better than the llama carriage?

 

Jardy glares at Higgins

 

Jardy

Don’t interrupt me… and no nothing is better than the llama carriage. The llamas are tired so we will take something a bit more fast and comfortable.

 

INT-A380-DAY

William is sitting back in a big comfortable seat on the A380 looking out the window at the fluffy white clouds as the plane flies through them. A loud knock can be heard at the big double doors that spate the office from the rest of the plane. William looks at Putin who is face down in a pile of coke

 

William

Please tell me that’s the hookers

 

Putin raises his head out of the pile of coke

 

Putin

Hookers are asleep after the fucking I gave them

 

William

Fuck you Putin, I wanted them before you had them. You always tire them out because you are fueled by the coke

 

Putin

The coke in my friend

 

Loud knocking can be heard again

 

William

Oh yeah the door

 

William gets up and walks towards the door

 

Putin

Don’t answer it

 

William

Why?

 

Putin

It could be a zombie

 

William

We’re on a plane

 

Putin

Oh yeah… proceed

 

William opens the door to see that it is Vincent

 

William

What do you want?

 

Vincent

You need to come with me

 

William

Why on earth would I do that?

 

Vincent

You need to see something… well… hear something

 

William

If its Putin’s coke farts, I’m already in a room with him

 

Vincent grabs William and starts pulling him in the direction on the stairs

 

William

If you are going to rape me then no thanks I don’t like men

 

Vincent pulls William up the stairs on the empty plane. He pulls him towards the cockpit past a sleeping Carl, Rick and baby. As they enter the cockpit Vincent grabs a headset and shoves it at William

 

Vincent

Listen

 

William

I will not!

 

William looks at the pilot

 

William

You guys suck, you are not to allow anyone in the cockpit after 9/11 and here we stand. What if we were terrorist?

 

The pilots don’t respond

 

INT-GEO-DAY

Kendrick looks like he wants to punch something as he sits there

 

Kendrick

Can I please know where are going

 

Robert

I have no clue after Jimmy died I lost all direction. I loved that man, I had a real connection with him

 

Kendrick

You knew him for what maybe two hours?

 

Robert

Almost three, but that’s not the point. When you meet a bean connoisseur like him you instantly become friends for life. 

 

Kendrick smacks his forehead

 

Kendrick

So let me get this straight. We have no destination?

 

Robert

Nope

 

Kendrick

No thought out idea

 

Robert

None

 

Kendrick

So you were going to drive till we run out of gas?

 

Robert

Pretty much

 

Kendrick loses it and starts punching the dashboard again as he looks up at the sky

 

Kendrick

WHAT AN IDIOT! WHAT A GOD DAMN IDIOT! I HAD ENOUGH! THE FUCKING APOCOLYPSE COMES AND I GET STUCK WITH HIM? WHY GOD? WHY? WHY MUST YOU FUCKING MOCK ME? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU TO GET STUCK WITH HIM?

 

Robert

Being a bit dramatic aren’t we?

 

Kendrick looks down and over at him with a very angry look on his face

 

Kendrick

Dramatic? I’m being dramatic? You are the fucking moron that drives a garbage pile of a car. A car you plan to drive till you run out of gas with and I am being dramatic? I think I am reacting like any sane person would

 

Robert

Jimmy loved the idea

 

Kendrick

I said sane person, you two are clearly fucking dumb

 

Robert sees a road leading off the main road to a rest stop

 

Robert

A rest stop, I think it’s time we cool off a bit

 

Robert drives to the rest stop and parks the car. It is empty, no person, car or zombie in sight. A tumble weed rolls by behind the car.

 

EXT-FOREST-NIGHT

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Jarpi and Ahma are walking in the forest towards a light off in the distance. As they near a clearing the sounds of explosions, people screaming and gun shots can be heard. Ahma and Jarpi now cautiously step into the clearing which overlooks Helsinki.

 

Jarpi

Ah Helsinki how I have missed you

 

Ahma begins to cry

 

Ahma

What has happened to the city that we love?

 

Jarpi

Zombies

 

Ahma

I haven’t been here in what feels like ages. Ever since my lizard escaped.

 

Jarpi

Forget about the lizard, you are here now. Where are we headed now?

 

Ahma

The hockey arena. The Titans were supposed to play the Americans today… I think.

 

Jarpi

We have no time to watch a hockey game you fool

 

Ahma

I know that we don’t but if the teams are at the arena we may be able to get out of the city on one of their planes. They respect me, even though I abandoned the league unexpectedly

 

Jarpi

You abandoned them? And you expect them to take you back with open arms?

 

Ahma

Pretty much. They will see me and be happy to see me.

 

Jarpi

Okay… but I don’t think this is a good idea

 

Ahma

You’re right because it’s a great idea

 

Jarpi looks across the city and points at the arena

 

Jarpi

We better get moving we have roughly five kilometers to cover on streets that are filled with zombies and crazies

 

EXT-JARDY FAMILY RANCH/FARM-DAY

Jardy is leading the group out behind the house and towards a barn. Jardy keeps looking behind them as if he is looking for something or someone.

 

Higgins

What are you doing?

 

Jardy

Keeping an eye out

 

Higgins

For what?

 

@Draper

Leave him alone already, he clearly is looking out for zombies

 

Jardy thinks for a second

 

Jardy

Yeah! Zombies that’s it

 

Jardy approaches the door to see that it is chained and locked.

 

Jardy

Fuck me

 

Higgins

Don’t you have the key?

 

Jardy

Key?

 

Jardy looks at Higgins puzzled then it hits him that Higgins is talking about the key to the lock

 

Jardy

Oh yeah! The key… Um no I lost it somewhere, somehow… someplace. Some people may call me an airhead for that

 

Higgins

I would use another word

 

Jardy looks around and realizes @Victor is not with them

 

Jardy

Where is Victor?

 

Draper

He said he had to go take a shit so he went in the house

 

Jardy

In the house? Like inside that (points at the house) house?

 

Draper

Um… yes that house. Why?

 

Jardy

No reason… go get him now.

 

Draper

He said he would meet us here when he is done

 

Jardy

GO GET HIM!

 

Draper

Sheesh, okay I’ll go get him

 

Jardy begins to look for something to hit the lock with

 

INT-A380-DAY

William has the headset on and is listening to people crying out on the radio for help. William tosses the headset on the ground and stomps on it.

 

William

I don’t have the time for their sob stories. I and Putin have to figure out where we are going

 

Vincent smacks William and then pulls out the cord so the audio of people pleading for help goes on the speakers

 

Vincent

Listen to that William. You can’t tell me that them calling for help does not make you want to land and help them

 

William

I can honestly tell you that I couldn’t care any less

 

Vincent

How can you be so cold?

William

Its life now, it’s the reality we live in. We have to strategically land this plane somewhere where we can get supplies and fuel when we need it. Putin seems to have a plan that he won’t even tell me

 

Vincent

He probably wants to be the world leader now

 

William

That makes sense

 

Vincent

Oh does it now?

 

William

Yeah, because he told me in a cocaine hallucination that since most of the world leaders are now dead that he wants to rule the world. This is why we can’t have many “livies” with us

 

Vincent

Livies?

 

William

Yeah living people

 

Vincent

Why the hell not?

 

William

More living people means more people that can turn into a zombie and more risk that Putin might be attacked when he passes out

 

Vincent

That is absolutely fucked! We are landing in New York. There are bunch of people stuck at the airport and we may be able to help

 

William

The fuck we are. This is his plane. I’ll go tell him and he will put a stop to this mutiny

 

EXT-REST STOP-DAY

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Robert walks to the rest stop and heads inside as Kendrick walks around cautiously. He comes across a park bench that has a map of the area with the rest stop that they are at circled in red on it. Kendrick looks around cautiously wondering where the people went and why were they in such a hurry. Kendrick shouts out.

 

Kendrick

Hurry the fuck up, something isn’t right here

 

As Kendrick turns around he realizes there is another parking lot that is filled with burning cars. He sees one car that is not burning with all its doors open. He looks at the rest stop then at the Geo before running towards the car with its doors open.

 

EXT-HELSINKI STREETS-NIGHT

Ahma and Jarpi are quickly running through the streets. They pass by shops that are being looted, cars overturned, cars on fire and dead zombies. Ahma is lost in a stare as he passes all this. He stops and stands there with an empty stare. Jarpi who is still running looks back to see Ahma standing there. A pack of zombies appear at the other end of the street and begin to walk towards Ahma. Jarpi runs to Ahma and shakes him

 

Jarpi

Snap out of it

 

Ahma mumbles

 

Ahma

Dead people, dead zombies…

 

Jarpi

WAKE (Shake) THE (Shake) FUCK (Shake) UP

 

Ahma

Are dead zombies dead dead?

 

Jarpi bitch slaps Ahma which snaps Ahma out of it.

 

Jarpi

LET’S GO!

 

Ahma looks behind him to see the zombies are very close so he runs off leaving Jarpi in his dust.

 

EXT-JARDY FAMILY RANCH/FARM-DAY

Jardy is smashing the lock over and over with a twig. Higgins is sitting in a very conveniently placed lawn chair

 

Higgins

Hurry up

 

Jardy looks behind him

 

Jardy

Shut up

 

Higgins

You been hitting that thing with a twig for a good twenty minutes

 

Jardy

I said shut up. If you aren’t going to help me, you might as well shut the fuck up

Draper and Victor who is caring a big duffle bag are now seen running out of the house.

 

Higgins

Their on their way. You better get it open now or all of us will laugh at you

 

Jardy

SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

 

Higgins begins to laugh. Which makes Jardy turn around and start waving the twig in the face of Higgins

 

Jardy

WHEN I SAY SHUT (wave) UP (wave) I MEAN (wave) SHUT UP

 

The twig snaps in half on the last wave. Jardy looks at the twig then down at the ground defeated just as Draper and Victor arrive. Higgins stops laughing and reaches under the lawn chair. He pulls out a spade and hands it to Jardy.

 

Higgins

That should help, like that gun did earlier

 

Jardy glares at Higgins in hate. He then turns around and knocks the lock off with the first hit. Jardy turns around to see the duffle bag.

 

Jardy

What the fuck is that?

 

Victor

All the alcohol in the house

 

Jardy

All? Oh man you shouldn’t have done that

 

Victor

There was a ton of alcohol in there. You call me an alcoholic but telling by all this you are worse than me

 

Jardy

It’s not mine

 

Victor

Oh and who’s is it?

 

Jardy

NOT MINE!

 

Higgins

Well you live here so it’s yours

 

Jardy

I don’t exactly live here

 

Higgins

Oh you moved out? So your parents are drunks

 

Jardy

Uh… not exactly. I live in Saskatchewan and we are in Alberta boys. Whoever lives here I don’t know. We are just taking something they have and leaving.

 

Victor

Oh

 

Jardy

Yeah…

 

Victor

That explains the Asian family we locked in the basement. We better hurry because the last thing we heard was them trying to break the door down.

 

INT-A380-DAY

Putin

So they are landing in New York

 

William

Yes

 

Putin

The city?

 

William

YES! Why is that so hard to understand?

 

Putin

Don’t raise your voice at me

 

William

I have been trying to tell you this for the last ten minutes and you are just now understanding

 

Putin

To be one hundred percent honest with you all I was hearing till now was garbles and mumbles

 

William

So are you going to stop them?

 

Putin sits back in his seat cupping his hands as he smiles

 

Putin

No let the little idiots in New York. New York is exactly where we have to go

 

William

How?

 

Putin

Project Overcloud Willie my boy Project Overcloud

 

EXT-REST STOP-DAY

Kendrick is nearing the car with all its doors open. As he gets to it he sees a whole family inside. The family appear to be dead from what appears to be zombie bites. Kendrick sickened by what he is seeing turns away as he covers his nose. As he turns around he sees zombies appear from a wooded area. As he freezes in fear he hears sounds coming from behind him. It’s the family that have now turned into zombies. Kendrick now realizes he is almost surrounded so he runs back the way he came. He spots the Geo and runs to it. He has never been so glad to see the little shit beater of a car. Kendrick gets into the passenger seat and slams the door closed. He locks the door and hits the dashboard.

 

Kendrick

DRIVE!

 

After a few moments of not moving he turns as he yells “DRIVE” but realizes that Robert is nowhere in sight. So Kendrick hops over the center console and turns on the car. Just as the car starts zombies surround the car and begin banging on it trying to get in. Kendrick quickly throws it in reverse and backs over two zombies. As he quickly puts it in drive the car does not move. Kendrick floors it but the shitty car does not move. Robert is now seen running to the car.

 

Robert

WAIT FOR ME!

 

Kendrick sees Robert but still tries to drive away but to no avail. Robert runs up to the passenger door as Zombies once again close in on the car. Robert tries to open the door but it’s locked

 

Robert

Open it

 

Kendrick clicks the unlock button at the same time as Robert tries to open it. This happens a few more times.

 

Robert

OPEN IT!

 

Kendrick

I’m trying to but you keep trying to open it

 

Robert

What?

 

Kendrick

STOP TRYING TO OPEN THE DOOR

 

Robert

But there are zombies and I need to get in

 

Kendrick

IF YOU WOULD STOP TRYING I CAN OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!

 

Robert

Okay… then open it

 

Kendrick sighs as he opens the door for Robert who jumps into the car and locks the door

 

Robert

GO, GO, GO

 

Kendrick looks at Robert annoyed

 

Kendrick

What do you think I have been doing? I’ve been trying to leave for a few minutes

 

Robert

So you were going to leave me?

 

Kendrick thinks for a second

 

Kendrick

I thought you were dead

 

The car goes silent for a moment before the banging from the zombies breaks up the silence. Kendrick tries again but this time the little shitty car goes due to the extra weight.

 

EXT-HELSINKI STREETS-NIGHT

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Jarpi and Ahma approach the arena

 

Jarpi

You sure this is a good idea?

 

Ahma looks around them to see Zombies everywhere

 

Ahma

It’s either we stay out here with them or go into the unkown in there

 

EXT-JARDY FAMILY RANCH/FARM-DAY

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The group wait outside the barn as Jardy drives out of it with a big RV

 

Jardy

GET THE FUCK IN

 

The group get into the RV. Jardy now drives to the front of the house and stops

 

Jardy

We need to get the llamas and llama carriage loaded up into the trailer

 

Higgins

I will not help. We got this beast we don’t need that

 

Jardy

I will not go without them

 

Higgins

ASS!

 

The episode ends with the group getting the llamas and carriage into the trailer. The A380 flying into a storm cloud as it flies to NY, Ahma and Jarpi heading into the arena. While Kendrick and Robert drive in silence away from the rest stop that now has lots of Zombies.

Edited by KingRobbie
  • JPL changed the title to Deadly Tide S01E04 "Path of least resistance" [Reviewed]

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