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Claimed:Vernon Von Axelberry Rookie Profile


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Name: Vernon Von Axelberry

Nickname: DJ Vern

Age: 18

Country: USA

Drug of choice: Molly

Jersey number: 7

 

 

There is not much we can profile because Vernon really hasn’t played any hockey in his whole life. So to make a profile of his pros and cons will be a bit harder than for say a prospect that actually even has one game of hockey under his belt.

 

 

 

 

PROS

 

 

 

Glove Hand: Now keep in mind we are just taking wild stabs in the dark with his pros but this one actually makes sense. Why? Because his spinning hand in the DJ world is his glove hand in hockey. His spinning hand must be strong and quick to keep up with the best of the best DJ’s. It will be interesting to see what aspects of his DJ world he will bring into the hockey world or if he just won’t give a fuck.

 

 

Size: Dude is built like a brick house. He is 6’3” 222 pounds. He won’t be easy to knock around in his net… once he learns how to skate that is. His big body will fill the net quite well with equipment on so only the elite of the elite scorers will be able to pick a spot on the net that he does not cover. But once the find that spot they may score at will since he really does not have any skill

 

 

Strength: To go with his monstrous size he has the strength to go with it. He is muscles on top of muscles. Dude is jacked is easy way of saying it. He claims he has to be ripped and his abs 100% because without that he would not crush the amount of pussy that he does. So at least we know he takes care of his body… well besides the amount of drugs and alcohol he pumps into it.

 

 

CONS

 

 

Lack of experience: This is the biggest most glaring flaw to his game. He has never played a game of hockey, house league, beer league or pro. He has never picked up a video game controller and even played hockey there. He doesn’t know the rules, he didn’t even know what was Hockey till he asked Google now.

 

 

Lack of Puck vision: Does he even know what a puck is? A goalie should always know where the puck is so they know what is going on. So they are ready just in case the puck comes down the ice. Will he know how to read a play? Will he know the proper time to drop down and go for a save or will he just flail about hoping to make a save?

 

 

Can’t skate: Dude can’t skate. Period. Plain and simple has never put skates on, has never even seen skates in his life. Remember when you first were learning? The chair? Well the team that signs him now and the team that drafts him might have to give him “the chair” in practice to show him how to skate. During games… well I don’t think he will play much if at all any because he can’t have “the chair” with him during games.

Edited by KingRobbie
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