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Claimed: Musically inclined


Tyler

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Don't read this

 

I assume most people here like music. Even if you don't like most chart topping music, it's there for a reason. It's not always groundbreaking but it usually is catchy and it's always (obviously) popular. I am too lazy to google the billboard hot 100 right now, but I assume they're basically the same anyway, but I am going to correspond the top 10 songs on the Spotify (global) chart to see which VHL team they would be.

 

Starting at number ten we have That's What I like by Bruno Mars. I'm not going to lie, this song is probably the worst Bruno Mars hit since Grenade, but I understand the appeal. For that reason, I feel as if it is the Riga Reign of the charts. It's obviously not great, but it gets results, which is all that matters in the charts and on the ice. 

 

Number nine is Passionfruit by Drake which is a pretty good pop song. The intro is way too long, but it obviously draws parallels to 2013's Just Hold on We're Going Home because of it's pop appeal. I honestly think this is one of the better songs in the top 10, but it really is kind of just a rehash of his 2013 song. I'd say if it were a VHL team it would be the Helsinki Titans. Not good enough to win the league, but a constant threat, plus whenever I think of the song I think baby blue is a good colour for it.

 

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At eight we have Stay by Zedd (feat. Alessia Cara). I keep hearing it on the radio and stuff, but I personally never gave it much thought. It's not trying to appeal to me, but it's actually not a bad song at all. It's a little typical of Zedd's music though, but that's to be expected when EDM acts make pop music, they do tend to sound similar to the novice ear. I guess it would have to be the Cologne Express because Zedd is German (I think?) but also because it is an upbeat song and it seems like the kind of song that stay on the charts for a long time, and the Express have a healthy future.

 

DNA by Kendrick Lamar is obviously one of the best songs on the charts. I have always felt people overrate a lot of Lamar's music by comparing him to artists with better songs. However this song has deep meaning, his flow is great and it has a good beat. If only because the other songs are pretty safe pop music, I'd say DNA has to be Quebec Meute. I don't know if it's the best song on the charts, but it is clearly one of the ones that will be most remembered in the future while others are likely forgotten.

 

Mask Off by Future is one of those rap songs that charts high both due to its content but also because of it's marketability/meme ability. It's obviously great on it's own right but what is perhaps it's best asset is the flute in the beat. For that reason, I'd say it's the New York Americans. They may not be the best team in the league this year, but I've always preferred their aesthetic to other teams. 

 

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Next is It Ain't Me by Kygo (feat. Selena Gomez) I'm not going to lie this song has very few redeeming qualities which is lame because the first few Kygo songs I heard were actually really good. Just as default, they are the Seattle Bears. They're just the worst.

 

Something Just Like this by The Chainsmokers (feat. Coldplay) are the Wranglers. The last two songs are both pretty bad, and I really have no idea why they exist. Calgary has a pretty solid future, but for our ears sake we have to hope this song doesn't, though that is pretty unlikely. 

 

Humble by Kendrick Lamar actually got a lot of heat by rap fans when it first came out, which is probably not a surprise seeing how fans of genres love to pick apart songs. It's a pretty good song and not nearly as meaningful as much of Lamar's other work. I'd say it is the Toronto Legion all things considered. Like the song, the Legion are kind of resting on their laurels of their past work, but it isn't like they're irrelevant.

 

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Shape of You by Ed Sheeran is a terrible song, but it's slightly better then the bottom three. Therefore it is the Davos Dynamo of the music world. Davos promises to be a team that stays around for a long time with some of the best prospects in the league just like the song which has been a chart topper for a long time. But that doesn't mean it isn't trash.

 

 Lastly we have a Spanglish song caleld Despacito by Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee (!!!) and featuring Justin Bieber. Honestly, this song is really good. I have no idea if I will think about it in three months, but for now it's pretty good, and I also only barely understand a few of the Spanish words because they sound like french. Either way, the song is really catchy. It's at the top of the ranking so it is only right that it gets to be the number one VHL team the Stockholm Vikings. Just as the song is a continuation of the rebirth of Justin Bieber, the Vikings being reborn with their new name and location has thrown a bit of fresh air behind the franchise.

 

 

tl;dr

That's What I like by Bruno Mars - Riga Reign

Passionfruit by Drake - Helsinki Titans

Stay by Zedd  Cologne Express

DNA by Kendrick Lamar - Quebec Meute

Mask Off by Future - New York Americans

It Ain't Me by Kygo - Seattle Bears

Something Just Like This by Chainsmokers - Calgary Wranglers

Humble by Kendrick Lamar - Toronto Legion

Shape of You by Ed Sheeran - Davos

Despacito  by Luis Fonsi - Stockholm Vikings

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7 hours ago, Tyler said:

Daddy Yankee (!!!)

 

I'm surprised as well, like how he's a thing after so many years.

 

I'm glad to see much rap songs topping on Spotty. Just get rid of Ed's trash and the top is gonna be two thumbs up.

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