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Doomsday Agency To Add New Client?



SAN ANTONIO - 36 years ago when the VHL was created, it was quickly declared that an agent could only have one client in the league at a time in order to prevent a super agent of sorts from dominating the structure of the league. While the VHL will never see the likes of a Scott Boras or Drew Rosenhaus, some powerful, colorful and entertaining agents have come and gone during the lifespan of the VHL. However, the Doomsday Agency, who represents Davos HC Dynamo right wing Thomas Landry, has their eyes set on something the VHL's rulebook does not prohibit: having clients in different leagues altogether.


Representatives of the Doomsday Agency (which contrary to popular belief is not an organization out to destroy the world) are rumored to have met with Texas Longhorns middle linebacker Jack Kowalski. Despite having only just completed his sophomore season, the young linebacker has already grabbed the attention of the National Football League due to his massive frame at 6'5, 245 pounds and delivering highlight-reel hits on a regular basis. Kowalski is not able to declare for the NFL Draft until after next season at the earliest upon the completion of his junior season.




"We had very positive discussions," said John Gordon, a representative of the agency. "Jack had a lot of questions to ask and we did our best to answer them. Overall, we were able to fill him in on everything that he wanted to find out without violating the rules of the Victory Hockey League, National Collegiate Athletic Association and the National Football League. Bet you never thought you'd hear those three names in the same sentence, huh?"


Collegiate athletes are strictly forbidden from hiring agents while attending school, with the penalty for doing so often resulting in a loss of eligibility for collegiate athletics. However, with Kowalski contacting the Doomsday Agency for consultation, arrangements were made to ensure that no violations would occur. Representatives for both the University of Texas and the NCAA were present, with both sides stating that nothing illegal occured.




"Jack was very enthusiastic about learning about the career path he could one day take with the NFL," said Texas representative Johnny Alamo. "The Doomsday Agency never once tried to steer him towards declaring for the draft early or tried to get him to sign with them. The agency was very helpful to him with helping him plan out his future and realize what options were available to him."


Asked if he felt that the potential expansion of the Doomsday Agency's clientele would harm his career, Thomas Landry was quite candid with his response.




"Unless they're going to take the ice to try and stop me, not at all," replied Landry. "I mean, I'm under contract for the next three seasons, not including the one we're in now. Even if for some reason they become so incredibly busy they can't talk to me, it's not like I'm going to suffer for it."


Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, the leaders in writing about content that is barely relevant to the VHL. He enjoys admiring Alex Trebek, coming up with pretty good analogies and deciphering the language of Jeff Boomhauer.

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Content: 3/3 - I think the most prudent course of action would be to retire Landry and convert Kowalski to a hockey player and join the VHL. With his size, Kowalski could be a mean power forward or defenseman. Actually, maybe he could join the VHL's new Goalline Blitz team.


Grammar: 2/2 - Nope.


Appearance: 1/1 - Yep.


Overall: 6/6


FINAL: 6/6

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