Numerical Interlude

[McWolf 3,111]

Hey boys, McWolf here. I was about to finish writing my Aleksi Koponen HOF article and was kind of lacking inspiration to talk about the last couple of seasons so here I am, writing a small and uninteresting VHL.com article to try and get my mojo back. Thing is, I basically told someone a couple hours ago I reached 12 capped TPE every week so far since joining. While this was mostly a true fact, I was actually lacking a VHL.com article for the current week to be absolutely right so here it is;

 

Joseph McWolf never really bothered about his jersey number. For him, the most important thing was the logo in the front, not the name in the back, and the number was part of that back part that wasn't too important for him. In high school, he wore number 4, because that was the last jersey available in his size and he was basically the last guy to make the team. In college, he wore number 25. No real reason here other than, well, the jersey fit him, and he didn't really care about the number on the back. However, he realized, once he set foot in America that jersey numbers were a much bigger deal than he ever thought. He wasn't exactly a star back in England, no one would buy a McWOLF jersey. But here, well, that's something that could happen at some point. Probably not this year, probably not next year either, but at some point in his VHL career, there ought to be at least one guy somewhere that wants to buy a McWOLF jersey, right? And this jersey will show a number, the number Joseph will choose at some point. It can't be blank in the back just because the guy doesn't care about numbers, and it would be a dick move for the fans if he just changed jersey number every other season, making their official gear outdated.

 

So, throughout all these thoughts of potential future fans being hurt by him, Joseph made an important decision today. A decision he probably should have made before the VHLM season started a couple days ago. But, hey, at least he made it. Today, Joseph picked his number. He analyzed every numbers possible, every numerical combination that could be potentially worn below that McWOLF nameplate on his back, and he arrived at the conclusion that there was one number that was factually superior to all the others, be it mathematically or visually. One number to beat them all, one number that he'd have no shame being associated with for the rest of his hopefully long hockey career. And now that he thought about it, he realized that this was probably the only reason why it never occured to him that jersey numbers were so important; he hadn't stumbled upon the Holy Grail of numbers before today.

 

Today, Joseph McWolf met with the Ottawa Lynx gear guy and he asked him to print a big fat 49 on the back of both his jerseys.

 

Here, 400 words about numbers. Good night guys. I'm coming up with your article, Will.