Frans Eller’s VHLM Hotel Reviews

[Ace 85]

 

Hi, I’m Frans Eller, elite prospect that is declared for the upcoming VHLM draft. I’m here to provide you with my review of hotels in VHLM cities! First off, as I noted in my VHL.com article, I didn’t live in Houston long enough to get a place. So, naturally, I’ve been staying in a Hilton Hampton Inn right here in Houston! The room is nice enough, but you can tell the building itself is not new whatsoever. I am pretty sure I heard the elevator groaning in discomfort when I asked it to take me up to my floor. All in all, the room was relatively clean, the staff was friendly, and I enjoyed the continental breakfast. I give Houston’s Hampton Inn a 3.7 out of 5 stars.

 

So wait a second, we have to actually go to the Yukon? How do they fill an arena in there? *CORRECTION – THEY DON’T*. I got to my hotel, the Yukon Motel with a flashing VACANCY sign on the street. I had to wrestle three full grown rats for my bed when I walked in. The log cabin next door served pancakes though, so that was a plus. The water wasn’t working in my room. I can’t really fairly analyze this because I didn’t realize that the Yukon Territory was its own sovereign nation and a 3^rd World Country at that. I’ll have to defer my analysis to the locals as I never want to return to this way of life again. If I had a gun pointed at me, I’d have to say 2 out of 5 stars.

 

Mexico City? We’re going to Mexico City? After being in the Yukon? I don’t know what’s up with the logistics in this league, but sign me the fuck up. I could do a mountain of blow in Mexico City. It’s gonna look like Whistler in my room without the chairlifts. I, as a self-respecting Hilton man, stayed at the Doubletree by Hilton in Mexico City. I was ecstatic, this place has a 4.5 out of 5 star review on Google. I walked in, and there was not a member of a Drug Cartel there to walk me to my room. How disappointing. It certainly was better than the Yukon though! Did you know they spoke Spanish in Mexico City? I thought that was just in New Mexico and Texas. You learn something new every day, I suppose! The room was fantastic, the blow was great, 5 out of 5 star experience from Frans. I want to play on the road in Mexico City every game.

 

Wait, now I we have to go to Minnesota? Minnesota is only worth visiting in the summer. In the winter it’s a gross, desolate cold wasteland. In the summer? Man, the lakes are awesome. I love it there, my uncle took me to see the World Cup of Hockey when I was 12. Denmark got smoked, it sucked. The Hilton Minneapolis! What a nice hotel. The pillows were especially soft and caressed my face like my ex from four years ago. Yeah, we were 15, what about it? Anyways, loved this place. It was nicer than actually going outside by far. I give the Minneapolis Hilton a 4.2 out of 5 stars.

 

 

To be continued...

[bluesfan55 103]

hi ace

[Ace 85]

Hi Bloos.