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Shackleford Builds Shrine to Johnson


K1NG LINUS

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Amid accusations of the Malmo Nighthawks being a cult, rookie defenseman Rusty Shackleford has decided to build a shrine that he says is to "honor our lord and savior Michael Johnson." Apparently inspired by rookie Goaltender Michael Johnson's @fonziGG impressive start to the season, Shackleford has begun to spread the word of his goaltender on the streets of Malmö. To the horror of many innocent passersby, Shackleford has begun circulating literature and pamphlets explaining the supposed origins of Johnson, and how he has come to Sweden to grant eternal saves and sweet stops. Shackleford further explained that with a 0.932 SV% and his already getting his first career VHL shutout, there is no other explanation than that Johnson possesses holy powers, and that he should be revered accordingly. He also further expanded on this strange new religion, describing how "Father ADV" gave Malmö his son, Michael Johnson, to save the nets from pucks, and that now Johnson's four apostles, Garcia, Moose, DESTRUCTIOUS, and Shackleford himself, spread the word of his deeds. 

 

The shrine that Shackleford has been constructing violates several local and national ordinances, and has been described as a "crime against humanity." Despite this, and the rumored cult connections that the Nighthawks have been involved in, Shackleford plans on continuing his work to spread the word of Michael Johnson. His next steps involve adding to the MJ holy book with chapters detailing the exploits of "St. Phil" and how he single-handedly body checked everyone else in the league into a coma. Stay tuned for more updates and the imminent legal fallout of Shackleford's antics. 

 

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Edited by K1NG LINUS
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