Attribute leaders and nonsense in the VHLM

[ColeMrtz 574]

CK - Cinnamon Block/Danny DeYeeto/Anthony Amberback/Kenji Hachimura - 70

     Only 2 of these players appear on the top 10, and neither sit in the number 1 spot. There's some shenanigans going on here.

FG - Yeet Dabberson - 77

     No fights, an absolute scam, I am left disappointed.

DI - Duncan Jeffers - 56

     Only 4 PIM, not the best in the league but respectable.

SK - Jerry Wang/Benny Graves - 80

     Both top 5 in points, Wang on top of the league, very good.

ST - Cinnamon Block/Ricky Johnson - 70

     Clearly not strong enough to make good decisions as Block is THIRD IN PENALTY MINUTES. Emotionally weak 0/10

PH - Aamon Grim - 76

     Not doing much as he's invisible on the leaderboards, too busy using puck handling to handle his balls on the bench apparently.

FO - Chad Gilbert - 71

     Best FO% positionally, very good

PA - Finnegan MacBurn/Emil Passerelli/Bud Knight - 80

     Not even top 10 in assists, no passing, 1 star on yelp

SC - Benny Graves/Blacker Velvet/Ryo Yamazuki II/Emil Passerelli - 80

     2/4 made top 10 for goals, okay I guess. Needs improvement

DF - Khalabib Stiopic/George Washington/Ryo Yamazuki II/Aamon Grim/Finnegan MacBurn/Brock Louth/Benson Kramer/Jacob Perry - 80

     Defense is important kids

PS - Jeff Tates/Joakim Sakic/Jerry Wang/Sade Taika - 45

     Tates is the only player to have taken any and he's 50%, soft, trash, not good

LD - BALLS McZherl - 55

     FUTURE FUCKIN CAPTAIN RIGHT HERE BOYS WOOOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT THAT LEADERSHIP THATS THE VETERAN LOCKERROOM PRESENCE I WANT ON MY TEAM

 

This article is bs I was going to take it seriously and then it took too long to get the attributes so I gave up gimme TPEs

 

285 words

[Cxsquared 455]

BALLS McZehrl is shaping up to be the next VLH commissioner. You can't go wrong with that leadership.

 

#BALLS4Commissioner