The First Ten: A Robbie Story

[BluObieZ 1,125]

God damn this theme week shit is making me actually remember things from the past about a league that I try to ignore most things about. It is also making me realize just how long I’ve been around. I mean seriously WOW I wasted a ton of time on this thing we call a league. I entered the league just before the start of season one. I missed the draft cut off so I had to wait till the S2 draft. Which was kind of BS if you ask me. I vaguely remember making a big stink about it. I think this was the start of the leagues love to hate attitude with me. Which was exactly the way I wanted it. I came in here, wanting to be Sean Avery of the league. Saying and doing things that would make most people cringe and turn their heads.

 

To say I remember who drafted me in the S2 draft would be a Trump sized lie. All I know is that I was drafted. Which was cool? I guess? I don’t fucking know. All I know is that I held out because I wanted more money and I vaguely remember the GM who may or may not have been Chris Julien refusing to give it to me. This was the start of my first “Fuckery” which was talking to a bunch of S2 draftees telling them to hold out which in turn would fuck the league. I don’t remember the details of my own fuckery but somehow someway the plan was to force the league into a lockout till the league raised the cap and we got paid. Well since there wasn’t any S2/S3 lockout that everyone remembers/heard about then you know my plan failed. Not that people didn’t like my idea, but because the league was new and the new members didn’t want to ruffle feathers. So they took less money just to appease the GM’s and the league. I came out of it all looking like the asshole. I think I was banned for a day or so because of this all. Much like Tequila, once I got the taste of the ban I wanted more. Which set me down the path that now everyone knows.

 

Now the next few seasons are a complete blank for me. Nothing noteworthy really happened. My player Robbie Zimmers was doing good but not a great career. I really didn’t care about my player’s career. Sure I would get into arguments with others about who was better and so on. But did I care? No. I cared more about stirring the pot. The next and probably the last thing I remember from those old days which is technically two things but also can be treated as one. But I shall treat it as two. Not for length purposes since this already is about five hundred words. It’s more for the story. To tell a good story you must hit all the key elements of the said story. God that’s like storytelling 101.

 

Anyways, I somehow, someway ended up on Hamilton. I right away thought, If this was truly a league from all around the world, then why are there two teams in the same country, the same fucking province. Hell just like fifty kilometers apart. It made no sense. Hamilton is a shit hole and everyone knows it. But since I was not the GM I couldn’t do anything about it. I sat there and waited for my chance and opportunity. Once Terry (I think it was him) announced he stepping down I was like fuck yeah! Here was my shot to swoop in and make my mark. So I took over as GM… and the rest was fucking history. The fucking end.

 

No! It’s not the end. It was the end for Hamilton. I moved the team to NY because NY deserved a team over the shit fucking hole that Hamilton was. I remember people not liking the name. They said I should be more original lol. I called them the Americans because what is more American then saying “AMERICA!” being all in your face and all American about it. It was the right fucking name for the team and you know it. How do I know this? Because the team has not been rebranded or anything since then. Sure the logo has been changed but that was expected.

 

Now since we are already in the NY days, I might as well bring up the short bus. I think I started the whole short bus thing in around S8 which is almost the tail end of this thing. I believe the whole concept was conceived as soon as the team got moved. I thought now that I made my mark by having my team and name in the VHL it was time to leave a mark. So I decided to fuck around. I made questionable trade after questionable trade. I brought in players that no one else wanted. While trading away first round picks like they were candy. Much like how the Toronto Maple Leafs used to operate and still kind of do. I assembled this rag tag team of people that people hated. We were the agitators, the people that loved to argue with. We loved it. We would start arguments because it was fun. It furthered the hate for us and I loved it. The team was going nowhere quik. But that did not bother at all. We were too good not finish last but not good enough to make the playoffs every year. The team was a mess on paper, but that was fucking life. If you didn’t like it, you weren’t on my team. Which technically was a good thing for you. But you missed out on a lot of fun. We had a spam thread in our LR that was hundreds of pages long. Hell in the very least five hundred of my posts came just from that thread. I would say the number is much closer to one thousand if not more. What did we talk about in there? Anything. It was the Wild West. We posted gifs, pictures of hot girls and so on. Hell we even had another spam thread which was a “story game” where each person posting can only say three words. That thread went over one hundred pages that’s for sure.

 

The long and short of it, I had fun in my first ten seasons in the league so sue me. It’s not my fault that you didn’t or that your weren’t around to witness it. It is life and that is my story. Now kindly fuck off.

[.sniffuM 1,741]

The shortbus will always be the best footnote in VHL history.

[BluObieZ 1,125]

Claiming again