Interview with Kosmo Kramerev

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Interview with Kosmo Kramerev

 

Alan Benes - TNS THE NETWORK OF SPORTS

I had the remarkable privilege to sit down with VHLM newcomer Kosmo Kramerev this week. Kramerev is a unique and controversial figure in hockey, and while his pursuit of innovation is unquestioned, he has a reputation for questionable commitment, perhaps best illustrated by the three divorces he has gone through since 2017.

 

Kramerev's entrance to our studio for the interview was unique to say the least. To begin with, he entered, opened and closed the door in a single motion. He required three attempts to sit in the chair I offered to him and after nearly flipping the chair over backwards, he settled, legs crossed, chewing a thick Cuban cigar 

 

AB: Kosmo, thank you for joining me here today.

 

KK: Glad to be here. Mint? [He holds out a roll of Junior Mints. I politely decline, and he pops a mint into his mouth, and immediately begins choking on it. After a brief recess, we resume the interview.]

 

AB: Kosmo, scouts have found it overwhelmingly difficult to evaluate your on-ice performance. Between abbreviated seasons, inconsistent competition and unorthodox rules, your career has been anything but average. Can you tell me what you see as your biggest assets?

 

KK: My face is my livelihood, my allure...my twinkle! Everything I have I owe to this face.

 

AB: Interesting, not the sort of thing I'd expect to hear from a hockey player, but let's talk about that. You're coming off your third divorce since 2017. That's two weddings and three divorces in a three year period. What would you say is at the root of that?

 

KK: I got the Kavorka, Alan. The lure of the animal! I'm dangerous, I'm very Dangerous!

 

AB: So, you believe you have some sort of animalistic attractiveness that women can't resist?

 

KK: Yeah, Alan, I’m telling you I have this power. And I have no control over it.

 

AB: And that's the story for all three wives?

 

KK: It's the timeless art of seduction. You got to join in the dance. She sends you an enticing photo, you send her one right back.

 

AB: But things grew activist acrimonious, especially with your second wife.

 

KK: You know how there's some people you worry about whether you're going to hurt their feelings? With her, I'm looking forward to it. I'd like to get it on video, watch it in slow motion and freeze-frame it. Oh ho, yeah.

 

AB: That sounds pretty hostile.

 

KK: She dumped me! She rolled right over me! Said I was a hipster doofus. Am I a hipster doofus?

 

AB: I try to avoid calling anyone I interview a doofus. Now, turning back to hockey, you played defense under coach Larry Kasparov. I understand he entrusted you with some serious responsibility on the ice.

 

KK: He'd put me out there with a one goal lead, I'd tell him, "Yeah, don't worry, Larry. We're right on this guy like stink on a monkey."

 

AB: But you were a minus 30 on the year.

 

KK: What do you want me to say? That the things haven't worked out the way that I planned? That I'm struggling, barely able to keep my head above water? That I'm no better than a screenwriter driving a cab, a starlet turning tricks, a producer in a house he can't afford? Is that what you want me to say?

 

AB: No, I was hoping we could discuss your defensive game.

[At this point we took a coffee break at Kramerev's request.]

 

Please tune in next week for part two of this fascinating conversation.

 

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