The Art of War 2: Electric Boogaloo

[JigglyGumballs 1,056]

“All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.” -Sun Tzu

 

One might think that since it is the offseason and a player like me is supposed to be worrying about both the Dispersal and VHL drafts, I would the use the offseason to train or prepare for what's to come. Though that would be far from the truth. War does not take breaks for you. In addition, not doing something in the offseason would be a betrayal to myself. SO with that in mind, I spent a nice vacation in Tampere, Finland. I generally had a great time there. It was a fun experience in Finland and exploring the different places. However, I wasn't there for the sake of mere tourism. I ended up paying Patty Laine a nice visit. Of course I ended up having a nice time with Patrik, but that was all just a ruse of my true intentions. I needed him to think I was there for training and having fun. I left telling him that I needed to return to the hotel. When in reality, I bought a nice amount of plastic wrap and sticky notes. Then I would return some time later when he wouldn't know I would be anywhere near. During our trip to the gym, he gave me a ride in his nice car. I felt that his car was too nice to be damaged. So I figured that I should protect it. I ended up wrapping his whole car with plastic wrap and also covered it in sticky notes. So when he found out about it, he would be hit with a double whammy. No one, and I mean NO ONE , would go out of there way to do something like this other than me.Well it was a message that needed to be sent: There are no breaks in war. Plus I expect there would be retaliation anyways. Which is something I wanted. Of course this prank is meant to be harmless. I did not slash his tires. Sure it would be tedious to remove but it would be the perfect prank to pull. After that I visited other place like Helsinki, and Turku. I generally had a wonderful time and at least made my money worthwhile even more apart from the prank. Trying out the cuisine, learning some history, I made sure to enjoy my stay in Finland. Almost forgetting that I pulled the prank in the first place. I have to say, the seafood is some of the best here. The fish are so fresh and it's all just amazing. I then went home back to Winnipeg, having made my entire off season worth it. I enjoyed the contrast between Houston and Finland. It was something different and I enjoyed it. Sure Patrik Laine might be pissed at me, but it's all fun and games in prank warfare. And with the drafts coming up, perfect opportunities would come. But alas, I have nothing planned. The draft is a serious occasion and I truly don't want to ruin it for anyone. But I do have ideas for post draft though. I'll leave that in the next edition~

 

 

 

(570 words. Sorry @PatrikLaine XD)

[Laine 1,361]

28 minutes ago, JigglyGumballs said:

“All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.” -Sun Tzu

 

One might think that since it is the offseason and a player like me is supposed to be worrying about both the Dispersal and VHL drafts, I would the use the offseason to train or prepare for what's to come. Though that would be far from the truth. War does not take breaks for you. In addition, not doing something in the offseason would be a betrayal to myself. SO with that in mind, I spent a nice vacation in Tampere, Finland. I generally had a great time there. It was a fun experience in Finland and exploring the different places. However, I wasn't there for the sake of mere tourism. I ended up paying Patty Laine a nice visit. Of course I ended up having a nice time with Patrik, but that was all just a ruse of my true intentions. I needed him to think I was there for training and having fun. I left telling him that I needed to return to the hotel. When in reality, I bought a nice amount of plastic wrap and sticky notes. Then I would return some time later when he wouldn't know I would be anywhere near. During our trip to the gym, he gave me a ride in his nice car. I felt that his car was too nice to be damaged. So I figured that I should protect it. I ended up wrapping his whole car with plastic wrap and also covered it in sticky notes. So when he found out about it, he would be hit with a double whammy. No one, and I mean NO ONE , would go out of there way to do something like this other than me.Well it was a message that needed to be sent: There are no breaks in war. Plus I expect there would be retaliation anyways. Which is something I wanted. Of course this prank is meant to be harmless. I did not slash his tires. Sure it would be tedious to remove but it would be the perfect prank to pull. After that I visited other place like Helsinki, and Turku. I generally had a wonderful time and at least made my money worthwhile even more apart from the prank. Trying out the cuisine, learning some history, I made sure to enjoy my stay in Finland. Almost forgetting that I pulled the prank in the first place. I have to say, the seafood is some of the best here. The fish are so fresh and it's all just amazing. I then went home back to Winnipeg, having made my entire off season worth it. I enjoyed the contrast between Houston and Finland. It was something different and I enjoyed it. Sure Patrik Laine might be pissed at me, but it's all fun and games in prank warfare. And with the drafts coming up, perfect opportunities would come. But alas, I have nothing planned. The draft is a serious occasion and I truly don't want to ruin it for anyone. But I do have ideas for post draft though. I'll leave that in the next edition~

 

 

 

(570 words. Sorry @PatrikLaine XD)

I got you back though....better go check on all of your hockey equipment......

[JigglyGumballs 1,056]

1 minute ago, PatrikLaine said:

I got you back though....better go check on all of your hockey equipment......

Ah. I suspected as much. Thank god I still have them warranties lol