rory 1,949 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 Hello dearest VHL community. It is I, your pal and resident rambler Rory, here to write exactly 500 words to ensure I can qualify for the six capped tpe this week ending today, November 22nd, 2020. In this meaningless bundle of words, I will be talking about me, Jeffrey Pines. Jeffrey Pines is a Canadian ice hockey centre and alternate captain for the Los Angeles Stars of the Victory Hockey League (VHL). Nicknamed "GOAT" by Stars fans (and not just by himself), Pines was selected eighth overall by the Stars in the S73 VHL Entry Draft, becoming the first selection in franchise history. Pines is an absolute stud, perhaps being the best player to ever join the VHL. Despite this 100% true, undeniable fact, Simon T of Simon T's hockey simulator has decided that Mr. Jeffrey Pines is too good for the league, and so makes him fight every other game and limit his ice time, and thus destroy his point totals. Because of this absolute mockery of a sim engine, Pines has only 5 points in 9 games, and his 1 goal on 35 shots is good for a bottom five league shooting percentage, currently rocking a 2.94%. I will be contacting league officials to get my point totals retroactively fixed and players, especially people looking for a forward in fantasy, should be aware that Pines will end the season with five hundred million points and 0 hits, because hits are dumb and the league overrates them, especially the stupid stinky board of governors. Thank you for mentioning the board of governors. In this final part of the 3rd worst media spot of all time (only beaten by "rory talk about mexico", and "rory talk about US of A WCoH"), I will discuss my 5 point plan to dismantle the Board of Governors and humiliates the entire membership group. This is, of course, not a solid plan but it a fluid, ever-changing plan that may be modified without warning. Please come back and check this media spot every day to see if I have updated my manifesto. Step 1: Turn the entire league against these stinky boys. My whole plan for this goal is currently in action, as all I have to do is let them keep doing what they're presently doing. Great work lads, keep up the good work. Step 2: Strip rights of the Board of Governors. I have already attempted to strip the BoG's right to make predictions, and I still stand by that stance. Just because nobody has ever been a corrupt loser, doesn't mean these dorks won't try in the future. In fact, there is really no way to prove nobody has ever done this, and it's stupid for the dumb blue team to assume everyone who has ever been on the BoG is a golden god who would never do something scummy. Unfortunately I promised exactly 500 words so I guess steps 3-5 will be secret forever. Maybe my plan is already in Gally 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/95696-get-these-words-into-ya/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banackock 8,160 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 L Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/95696-get-these-words-into-ya/#findComment-799358 Share on other sites More sharing options...
rory 1,949 Posted November 23, 2020 Author Share Posted November 23, 2020 1 minute ago, Banackock said: L R Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/95696-get-these-words-into-ya/#findComment-799359 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gally 61 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) This is hilarious. Cocky and desperate for that sweet, sweet TPE Edited November 23, 2020 by Gally Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/95696-get-these-words-into-ya/#findComment-799369 Share on other sites More sharing options...
rory 1,949 Posted November 23, 2020 Author Share Posted November 23, 2020 1 minute ago, Gally said: This is hilarious. Cocky and desperate for that sweet, sweet TPE This is absolutely not a laughing matter Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/95696-get-these-words-into-ya/#findComment-799370 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gally 61 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 1 minute ago, rory said: This is absolutely not a laughing matter rory 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/95696-get-these-words-into-ya/#findComment-799372 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callahan 39 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 thats MY agm Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/95696-get-these-words-into-ya/#findComment-799400 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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