Jiggs's Current Career Review

[JigglyGumballs 1,056]

So for this edition of doing shit for TPE, I wanna do a review of sorts of my player mid-way through his sophomore season. And if you're tired of me constantly chanting 0.5 point per game pace in both the LVA and LA locker rooms, well you're in luck because now there's an article nearly the size of a media spot of me constantly chanting 0.5 point per game pace.

 

As mentioned literally a sentence ago, Gumballs' career is not the most illustrious in terms of offensive stats. In 116 VHL games played, Jiggly Gumballs has amassed just 63 career points with 58 career assists and only 5 career goals. Yeah you heard me right, only 5 career VHL goals. I mean with a current 90 passing, it's to be expected. Nevertheless, Jiggs' point per game totals amass for (wait for it...) 0.5431 points per game. Kinda pisses me off that it isn't 0.54321 but hey I can't complain. I'm technically over 0.5 PPG afterall. To give you a bit of perspective, I have more assists in my last season in the VHLM in Ottawa than career points in 1.5 season's worth of games in the VHL. The top 7 points leaders as of writing this have more or equal amount of points in just this season than my career. Though I do think I'll be able to surpass my point totals from last season as the sims have been rather generous in my standards.

 

In terms of defense, well let's just say that Jiggs did his best. 234 career shots blocked with 289 career hits. Along with that comes a career -16. In all honesty, I'm surprised that I'm only a -16 career wise. LA this season has a goal differential of -52. And somehow I'm only a -4 this season. Goes to show that I should totally win defensive defenseman of the year. I kept my +/- in single digits while playing for LA this season along with probably surpassing 100 shots blocked and probably getting nearly the same amount of hits as last season. Now to be truthful, the thing I shine the most in is my time spent in the penalty box. 246 career penalty minutes baby. I guess the thing I like doing the most in the VHL is gooning it up. That and not scoring goals.

 

Anyways, hopefully my stats will start to improve as LA finally comes out of the basement. Passing builds are heavily dependent on if teams can actually score or not. I want to at least win one award in my first VHL career. I am aiming for defenseman of the year as that's where I do see my player shining in. Not many people have true defensive defenseman builds, and though mine isn't entirely that kind of build, my players stats trend towards that area.

 

Well that's it for this week, hope you all have a good day!

 

(488 words)

Edited December 10, 2020 by JigglyGumballs
I don't know how to end articles. I also don't know english

[JigglyGumballs 1,056]

Watch my point production go to shit just so Simon can torment me

[fishy 1,757]

4 minutes ago, JigglyGumballs said:

In terms of defense, well let's just say that Jiggs did his best.

 

5 minutes ago, JigglyGumballs said:

Kinda pisses me off that it isn't 0.54321 but hey I can't complain

 

money quotes tbh