rory types garbage

[rory 1,962]

Another week, another procrastinated podcast debut with Hylands. Oops. I suppose for another week I will write exactly five hundred words and then abruptly stop. We will begin our discussions by discussing the Victory Hockey League Minor team based in the great nation of Mexico: the Mexico City Kings. As the Assistant General Manager of this team, I must admit that I am pretty disappointed with the results of the simulated hockey games this week, ranging from December 6th to December 12th. As the best team in the league by far, our recent trades may have ruined the chemistry and we are forced to scramble to find lines that work well together. But as they say in golf, "that's golf".

We head onward to other usual subject of my five hundred word rants, the Victory Hockey League (major) team, the Stars of Los Angeles. Overall, I am beginning to think the franchise that my player, Jeffrey Pines, plays for, is not very good at the ice hockey sport. The star player, elite center man and previously mentioned Jeffrey Pines is an absolute baller however. Being point per game for the first time in his young career, he has 22 goals and 30 assists in 52 games played. He is also top five on the team in almost every single category tracked by Simon T's Hockey Simulator. His goals total is only surpassed by line mate Gary Neal, and assists is passed by pass-first defender Jiggly Gumballs. Points is obviously dominated by the legend, but plus/minus is only 0, again only passed by Gary Neal, who sits at a stunning plus 2. In both penalty in minutes and hits, Pines takes fifth, behind defenceman and career enforcer Marcus Nygren. Shot blocks he falls to 6th but that's okay because Pines can only do so much for this fledgling ice hockey team. Of course his five fights takes first on the team, because his presence is pure intimidation for opposing, cowardly VHL teams. His arch nemesis, Rhynex Entertainment, knows how powerful Pines is, as he had to face him in the ring twice in one match, ending in a tie and a Pines win. Pines is elite and should've gone first overall and that's a fact.

Now we can discuss the real reason why I have wrote this article. The absolute atrocity that was Esso's charity stream. Wow! My presence was requested by mister bird, but I had rejected it due to requiring compensation (of course!). I had requested to become a moderator, and later very important person. Not only did he deny these requests, but his other "moderators" decided to time me out! Some charity stream. I may have to contact PayPal to discuss reparation's after my generous donation. Even after twenty four hours I am still absolutely fuming at this misdeed. Please write in the comment section some mean words about Esso and his moderators, Muffinman and Renomuffdad. Maybe I will forgive this trio if they correct their mistake.

[bigAL 2,176]

If you need somewhere to air your grievances, I have a podcast you can do that on. Or you can write a 2000 word media spot detailing about your mistreatment at the authoritarian hands of our VHL streamers and 

[Callahan 39]

Rory, I come back every week just to read this. Your grammar and punctuation is amazing and you always keep them incredibly funny. Please keep writing these every week. 10/10