London signs Trivium for Two More Years

[der meister 3,261]

It seems like everyone is excited about the two year, 5 million dollar deal that London United General Manager McWolf signed with winger The Terrible Trivium. At 2.5 million a season, the United lock up a player who has never scored fewer than 30 goals in a season and has been a mainstay for the franchise since day one. Everyone is excited, except Trivium himself.

 

"I love this team, this city, our fans," Trivium said. "I have never had plans to leave London. I think, though, that after last season and the awful numbers I put up, that I don't deserve this contract."

 

Indeed, some early reports on the negotiations between player and manager speculated that the player actually sought shorter term and lower dollars, in an attempt to not handcuff the United if he fails to statistically rebound.

 

"I've never heard of a situation where the GM has to tell the player that he needs to sign for more money," one sportscaster said in a video piece over the weekend.

 

"If I can find the back of the net more often this year, then I'll be content," Trivium added. "But if the next two seasons are as bad for me as this past one, I'd rather retire than hurt the team. I let my teammates and my fans down last season, and I promise them that I'm doing everything I can to fix that this season."

[BOOM 8,846]

Congratulations to the demon of petty tasks and worthless jobs, ogre of wasted effort, and monster of habit.