The Day Tyler Steel Got Signed

[tylerwest 12]

It was a gloomy January 28th 2021. Tyler just got done off the phone of his agent telling him he has heard of some chit chat over in Canada. He wasn’t trying to get his hope up but he was super excited. Last time he was this excited was when he got a card from Cornell University saying “HELLO TYLER we are proud to tell you that we will be giving you a full ride to CORNELL…” There was much more to that note than him just getting in. It was also so special to him because his dad went there and he wanted to follow the path his father went. But another reason is, his dad passed away a few months before that beloved note came. Tyler likes to think his dad dying was his last wish for his son. Tyler didn't play that much at Cornell but he sure did prove himself that we will be a star in the future. Tyler decided to try to find his letter from Cornell again in his apartment, in Chicago. Tyler looked for hours but couldn't find it. So Tyler decided just to leave it and carry on with his excitement and nervousness. It was getting pretty late in Chicago so Tyler decided to take a shower and hit the hay. But before Tyler went to bed he turned on his favorite childhood cartoons and before he knew it he was asleep in minutes.  Date 1/29/2, Tyler awoke to several messages and missed calls from his agent. He decided to take a look at them and he discovered that 3 teams are interested in his talent. Tyler was so pumped, he grabbed his keys to go get some early morning starbucks. Tyler was talking with his agent all through the morning and That late late night, Tyler West decided to sign with the Halifax 21st. Tyler was so happy and excited to play in Halifax for the next couple years of his pro career. So, for the next couple days Tyler began to pack his things in his apartment, and he later caught a flight to Halifax right away on the 29th of saturday morning. He fell asleep on the flight and when he woke up he was almost there but he began to talk back and forth with his agent about his future and where it lies. Tyler landed after a long 5 hour flight. Tyler began to walk off the plane when began noticing who he was and some were very happy to see him, others weren't. Tyler called a taxi soon as he stepped foot outside of the airport. The Bright yellow Vehicle pulled alongside the curb and Tyler opened the door stepping inside. Tyler told the Taxi driver” Can you take me to Halifax 21st area please” The taxi man agreed and as the driver went on Tyler just looked outside the window and looked at the beauty sky until it was interrupted by the taxi man yelling at him for his money cause we were there. Tyler opened the door to a massive area, I mean it was huge. Tyler felt like home immediately. Tyler walked up to the side locker room door where a Police officer was guarding the door. The Police officer didn't recognize him but when Tyler said his name he let him in right away and said “ahh you the new guy eh baud” Tyler laughed and agreed. As Tyler walked down the bright navy hallway he could see some people near the locker room. Willy Myers started to chirp Tyler a bit but Tyler was used to that staff back at home. At last Tyler walked into the locker room and as soon as he saw someone walk on the team logo in the middle of the locker room he was very pissed off but he also knew these next couple years of his life was very important. From that point on Tyler never looked back and he was officially a 21st.

[rory 1,916]

Glad to have you on the BOAT GANG!

[RomanesEuntDomus 442]

Review

 

Good stuff, nice to see a new player join and read about his early experiences in the league! You could work on your formatting a little bit, just a few extra spaces and splitting the thing up into paragraphs will already go a long way in making it look a lot smoother without you having to put much extra effort into it.

 

7.5/10

[Baozi 1,658]

Always good to see new member content looking at players perspective. The content itself seems to read like a journal so hopefully that's kinda what you were aiming for.

 

A number of things to make this better is to format the content so that you have spaces and paragraphs to better organize the flow of your writing or separate the specific thoughts. You have quite a few short or run-on sentences there that you can probably combine to make the flow better as well so hope we'll see those in future writings. 

You probably copy and pasted this in from somewhere, so it became all bold but having that detracts away from the writing itself, you may want to make sure the font isn't bolded either.

 

Standard things to also make content better is to add color/pics/logos. Some things to work on if you want your pieces to look better in the future.

 

4/10