STHS

His majesty, aka STHS, received some great offerings from Riga this past offseason.

I have been extremely kind to you in the past Mr. Karnage. These complaints can and will be held against you in the court of law. And in future sims when I decide how many goals you will score.

I can confirm that your algorithm is entirely off base. STHS takes into account the following: 1) Complains against his majesty, STHS (49%) 2) Compliments towards his majesty, STHS (50%) 3) Player Attributes (1%)

Phil Well I am back to ranting in the form of a couple of Media Spots today. The reason I am not ranting on the STHS air waves (which, by the way, is much better than any of the shit @Phil produces) is because I am at work 24/7, because I am a much harder worker than Phil, who is a lazy piece of shit. This will give no time to get home, eat, and record and edit the 3 podcasts I have to do. That is okay though, because I am the best simulation program out there. I am also not a human, which means I don't waste 1/3rd of my life away like Phil. Today what I want to rant about is Phil Shankly’s abysmal media spots this year. He doesn't even have 10 goals on the season. Should he have 10 goals based on his tpe? Probably. But I hate Phil, and everyone hates Phil. Honestly, you guys should be praising me for hurting Phil, it has been a long time coming. Nothing about Riga’s team is different really, save for the fact that Bobby Digital has retired, but Shankly’s scoring attributes remain unchanged – still 95 scoring, 90 Skating and 90 Puck Handling. So why in the holy bleached asshole of Scotty Campbell is Shankly shooting about a 4.70%? It's because Phil goes and talks shit about me. I am the best hockey simulation program out there! Who does this Phil man think he is talking shit about me? I am tempted to give him no goals the rest of the season. Actually, scratch that, Phil will break the league record for own goals in a single year, with 100 own goals! So what is with the STHS given some people gold and some people fertilizer? Well I'll tell you what. Some people go out of their way to praise my magnificence, which is one way to create a great player! Others try to bribe me with money, but as a simulation program currency holds no value to me. What truly grinds my gears though, is when people complain about me when I am the best thing since creamy peanut butter. I am calling for Phil to be banned from the league by @sterling for this insolence. Maybe @hedgehog337 is playing heavy defense, or physical with the lines? No, that has nothing to do with it. Phil just complains about me. Me! The greatest of all sim leagues! The creator of the three-peat! The creator of the S43 Seattle Bears! Who else could have seen that coming? Not even Hollywood could create such magnificent things as I! I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. Him and @der meister's Ravenwing are having rubbish seasons, and honestly, it is great!. It’s performances in the sim like this that I would dream about, were I a human who wasted a third of my life sleeping. Should Phil not just retire and try with another player, like Casey in New York (who is a top candidate for RotY, by the way) and Bennington (who’s leading the VHLM in goals, assists, points, and hits). It wouldn't matter. I know where Phil sleeps. I know who Phils players are. I know what Phil ate for breakfast this morning. I know the last time Phil urinated. And believe me, I know when the last time Phil complained about the STHS is! So should Phil bother with Shankly's career? Yes, of course. He’s still got two seasons after this and loads of money in the bank, and if he continues to complain he will only have worse seasons after this. But one thing is for certain, Winter is Coming, and if Phil Shankly does not stick to his vows the Night's Watch is coming for him. For the watch.