Pifferfish

Nike is betta

1. I have a shot at the triple, quadruple, and quintuple crowns for a goalie. Ecstatic at the prospect of making that happen. Could cement myself in VHL history. 2. Playing great, just gotta stay on top of things, and keep that puck out of the net. 3. We have only played them once but it's Moscow, those are our biggest games of the season. 4. I'm not Chad Powers @Big_Dyl need all the visibility I can get. 6. Whatever day we lift the cup. 10. I'm bringing all the cups, plates, silverware, and napkins. Goalies are the anchor of the team and should I line be the anchor of the BBQ.

I'm gonna call for an investigation, the guy who leads the VHFL in oer game scoring also happens to be the guy who runs the whole operation... I don't buy it.

@Benson I forgot to mention you in the DC section.

Graphic courtesy of the most amazing @Ricer13, the greatest part-time VSN contributor of all-time. Welcome readers!! Happy New Year, hopefully all is well so far at the start of this next trip around the sun. Today we will be talking about some of the biggest shocks in the VHL through 22 games (I only had a couple more since this intro was written :/). Every season sees its share of jaw-dropping twists and turns and S97 is no different. Without further ado, let’s rank the top 10 shockers of the season thus far. Disclaimer: This article was written over the course of a week and not in any particular order. I wish I could say all of the data I am using is from a particular point in time to increase the integrity of this piece but sadly it's not in the cards. The list was compiled on January 8th, so anything that has become totally untrue since then is a sad casualty to the demon we all know as Father Time. The list is ordered by how shocking these outcomes are with 10 being the least shocking and 1 the most. #10: Tanks to the left of me, Champ faves to the right, Here I am stuck in the middle with New… (York Americans). It’s a great song I just parodied, but the Americans are as mid as it gets. It's tough to say why though. They have a top tier goalie in 192Ws @rory, a star defender in CGY Janser @Daniel Janser, and four very good forwards in Gretzky @MubbleFubbles, Anisimov @McLovin, Richmond @badcolethetitan, and Jeb @hylands . The only issue I can detect is the lack of a fourth defenseman, but Moscow is making that work and Riga wasn’t terrible when they had only three before the Laas @dustywilson22 trade. Let's dive into the numbers and see where New York ranks in a couple categories. Goals For - 67 | 10th Goals Against - 63 | 6th Shots For - 863 | 10th Shots Against - 849 | 11th Shots Blocked - 274 | 4th Powerplay Attempts - 92 | 13th Times Shorthanded - 116 | 14th Powerplay % - 19.57% | 6th Penalty Kill % - 82.76% | 9th After trading for George Richmond, I somewhat expected improvement for this team, or at least for them to continue the strong performance from S96. Kadachi @ROOKIE745 left New York in what appears to be a slam dunk trade for Chicago at this point. In theory, though, Richmond should be a better piece. Also, in trading the power forward, one would expect this team to not be on the penalty kill so much by subtracting some of their physical presence from the forward core. Instead, they sit with the 3rd most penalty kills in the VHL. Moving on from the 2nd overall pick is looking like one of the worst trades of recent seasons. New York could have acquired an A+ prospect, but instead they opted for an ill-fated retool and look to be in the lottery at this juncture. #9: Seattle Bears goaltending struggles despite public perception. The Bears have been playing Giorgiy Costanzov @Mongoose87 in net as their consistent starter since S95, but he has been playing a pretty large portion of games since his 44-game rookie campaign in S93. This player is by no means new to the VHL. After his first two mediocre seasons, in S95 and S96 Costanzov produced a .920+ SV% and 38 wins in the next two. This season, he hasn't found a rhythm. He is on pace for more than the 38 wins he had the last two seasons, but a mere .908 SV%*** is just not good enough for someone who was considered a Shaw favorite among bettors. Only two goalies received more support in the predictions, Ryan Artyomov @Enorama (mostly after he came out very hot to start the season) and Soju @Frank (who dominated the preseason predictions). Costanzov received 9 Shaw predictions total compared to the 15 and 11 for the respective players I just mentioned. He will need to pick up his game if he wants to get back in the Shaw race and help a skater core that has carried a solid Bears team so far. ***Since writing this section, Costanzov has had quite a few good performances, bumping his current SV% to .919-- still only good enough for 9th best in the VHL among starters, but much better than the listed total in the analysis. #8: Moscow Menace 3rd straight scoring title imminent. The Menace are on pace to lead the league in goals scored for a 3rd consecutive season with a projected total of 283. @Spartan 's dark magic, or maybe just an elite understanding of where goals come from, is most likely to blame as he is consistently reworking the roster year to year. The only constant is that the Menace score a ton. The last time the Menace had a goal total in the bottom half of the VHL was S91! Jarmo Ruutu @jRuutu, Axle Gunner @Steve, David Rashford @Knight, Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage @Grape, and Jeff Lewis @nerji were all VHL rookies that season, just finding their legs. Three of those then rookies are now in their 7th seasons as members of the Menace. Jeff Lewis also spent his career in Moscow, sadly retiring early after the S94 Continental Cup win. The old guard of this electric offense ruling over the league's goaltenders with an iron fist has reinforcements from the S94 class in Maverick Goncalves @leandrofg, Pombo @samx, and Jillian Woods @jacobcarson877. Does this group of 2 forwards and a Dman remind you of anything we have seen before? The formula for the Menace to continue to remain dominant offensively is in place. The only issue for this Moscow team is seemingly in the net, but recent results point to that trending in the right direction. Just to go over some numbers, the Moscow Menace lead the VHL in shots for per game, goals for per game, offensive zone puck possession time per game, and are 3rd in power play percentage. Only four (out of 10) members of the Menace are below a point per game at the moment. The future remains bright for Russia's favorite hockey franchise. #7: Calgary Wranglers' defenders lack offensive production. As it currently sits, the top six point leaders for the Wranglers are as follows: Raimo Tuominen @SlapshotWrangler, Phil Sakic @Phil, Adi Dassler @BOOM, Thor Reingaard @N0HBDY, Miner vHLer @Rhynex Entertainment, and Keegan Gamble @Keegan Gamble. The observant among you may have noticed that all of those names are forwards. In fact, at the time of writing at least, Calgary is the only team in a playoff position without a point per game defenseman. You may think this is just a less offensive team in general, but the Wranglers are 4th among all teams in for goals for. Many fans expected Leif Reingaard @Zetterberg to build on a 91-point season in S96. While he does lead this team’s defenders in points, he sits at only 17 points in 21 games played. The last and only time Leif personally finished below a point per game was during his 62-point rookie campaign for Moscow in S92. Overall, Calgary probably doesn’t care where the points are coming from, so long as the goals keep coming. To the credit of their defensive unit, they do sit at 3rd in goals against so maybe having the defensemen focus on defense proves to be a wise decision for this coaching staff. #6: Vancouver Wolves' defensemen form a ferocious pack. There have been plenty of examples of 2 defenders on the same team both performing well. In S93, Prague had Skor McFleury @Alex #2 and Rip Wheeler @ScottyP #10. S94 saw FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY Analfist @STZ and Callum Gary Yannick Janser @Daniel Janser at #2 and #4 for the Americans. Riga's Leitner @LucyXpher and McFleury combo were #4 and #5 in S95. In S96 we saw 3 teams have multiple top 10 defensemen in point production. Now in S97, Vancouver has the #1 and #2 point getters from the D position in Bollos de Trueno @Thunder and Guntis Gavilrovs @Girts. Obviously, this may not last as players like Leitner and Bocage @Grape are close behind them**, but it's impressive, nonetheless. We all knew that the Wolves would be a good team heading into S97 but some of their players had question marks. Guntis regressed from his totals in S95 after a nearly point per game breakout, only totaling 53 points for the whole of S96. Bollos is also already approaching his S96 point total as he continues his ascent to the top of the VHL, but him reaching the point per game level was not a certainty. Part of the shock for me is the fact that I was on the lookout for a Woods/Bocage combo at the top. Both of them are doing quite well in their own rights but just not proving to be as thunderous of a duo as the Wolf Pack here. **As of release, Bocage has passed both Guntis and Bollos in the points race for defenders. #5: Malmo Nighthawks defense proves nearly unbreakable. Malmo has been a very defensive team for many seasons as that's been a trademark of their team identity, even going back to the days of Ash Sparks @DarkSpyro in net. Now they have 1 time Greg Clegane Trophy winner Jørgen Løvstrøm @Pifferfish in net, who is once again at the top of the VHL in GAA (a stat I've long said is a team stat more than a goalie one) and save percentage. Defensively, this team lost potential Hall of Famer Jacob Stone @scoop but immediately replaced him with the long-overshadowed Lucy Leitner @LucyXpher. Leitner came over via trade from a Riga team that made a habit of acquiring veterans like Skor McFleury @Alex and Mark Callaway @Beketov, taking opportunities from the young defender. Now Leitner is thriving as the #1 player on her new team. Another defensive cornerstone of the Nighthawks is S96 Scott Boulet Trophy nominee Savaisk Tzesar @comrade cat. Currently sitting at #10 in total hits, he would get five big booms from the Costco Guys. Looking at plus/minus, five Nighthawks currently sit in the top 10 of the league wide rankings, including rookie Narnia Shaw @Dabnad. The team boasts the least goals against, the 5th least shots against, the 2nd best penalty kill percentage, and the VHL's best faceoff percentage. The strategy in Malmo has been clear since the early games of the season: keep the biscuit out of the net by any means necessary! #4: DC Dragons embrace AI in net. “The robots are running the Navy!” Now, @qripll is a rookie GM in the VHL, which is the only reason this isn’t higher on the list. In the VHL, starting your backup goalie is required for 8 games in the season. However, the Dragons allowed their bot backup to start their first 11 contests of S97. The result of this mismanagement could be a punishment from the commissioners as DC is likely to lose some lottery odds at the end of the season. This result could be a big wrench in a long rebuild that delays it even further. Funny enough, the Dragons record was better with Cortana in net instead of Benson. With a 5-5-1 record and a .914 SV%, Jarvis outperformed their human counterpart who is only 3-11-0 with a .910 SV%. Despite the actual results of the games, I suspect some type of retribution from the VHL. #3: Chicago Phoenix turn the flames on with a red-hot start. Chicago, despite their recent drop in the standings, did come out swinging to the surprise of many. In their first 15 contests, they had a league best 11-2-2 record. Ryan Artyomov @Enorama looked like a lock to end the year in contention for the Shaw. Crazy enough, the first 4 losses for the Phoenix came at the hands of just two teams, the rebuilding DC Dragons, and the Mid York Americans we previously discussed. In that early run, Chicago did match up with some relatively weak competition in a lot of those games, but they also beat some certifiably strong teams. They took their games over the Wolves, Bears, and Wranglers (oh my!), while also taking care of business against some weaker teams in the Legion (twice) and the Reign. Their margin of victory in the wins against the other top NA teams was only 3--all one goal wins! Great teams find ways to win the close ones, and even if they end up lower in the seeding, Chicago is a serious dark horse if they can keep up their ability to close out close games. Talking about the key contributors, Spanish Moon Moth @Renomitsu, Joshua Schwarzer @Velevra, and YaBoi Oven @Doomsday continue to be a solid core for Chicago. @badcolethetitan preaches loyalty and all three of these players' have been staples for the Phoenix for at least the last four seasons. Let's also shout out the addition of Kadachi @ROOKIE745 for just a 3rd, making this version of the Phoenix maybe more physical than previous seasons. Overall-- great team, great start, let's hope for a great finish when all is said and done. #2: HC Davos unable to find footing atop the mountain. The Davos Dynamo just took a trip to the cup finals where they lost to a still strong Vancouver Wolves team. Expectations were high for both teams as they managed to keep pretty much the same skater groups they had last season, but both lost their retiring goalies. Thus far, the Wolves have been pretty dominant in their North American Conference that has been considered the deeper conference for quite some time. Davos, on the other hand, recently found themselves behind the Riga Reign in the European Conference standings and continue to battle them for control of 3rd place. Maybe the solution to the Dyanmo's issues lies firmly planted on the bench with THE MIGHTY ICE WIZARD @Royski, returning from his icy slumber to start off his S97 campaign 7-0-0 with a .929 SV%. AKK @Snussu has struggled with only a 12-9-4 record and a .913 SV%. Maybe @Alex pulls the trigger on the swap in net or he moves to a more 50/50 model. The only thing I'm certain of is Davos needs to get dynamic and adjust something to retake control of this season. #1: Warsaw Predators' Pipo Popa poopoos on the VHL. Last season we saw pending semi-professional golfer Olober Syko @Spartan put up staggeringly good numbers for Warsaw. He was already considered a great goalie and had already been a proven netminder before his Predators season. While his performance was unexpected, it didn't reach the shock factor of fans across the world the way Pipo Popa @npuBeT is impressing us now. The S91 draftee hasn't surpassed a .920 SV% since his stints in the VHLM and VHLE and yet leads the VHL in the category (as of writing).* While he is by no means a lock to keep the lead with players like Artyomov @Enorama, Løvstrøm @Pifferfish, and Red Panda @Lemorse7 on his heels, he is the only one doing it with actual plumbers for teammates. The beer league roster of the Preds (plus Slava Kovalenko @OblivionWalker) is getting torched time and time again, but Pipo stands tall and awaits the next inevitable shot, steadfast in his efforts. He is the best thing to happen to Warsaw since 1989 (according to google, don't @ me y'all). The city and fanbase has hope. If this one man can do so much, why couldn't a team assemble at some point soon and do it together? *Jørgen Løvstrøm has since supplanted Popa for that top spot, but Popa still has an over .930 SV%, good for the second place.

#FreeAhsoka

#FreeSlava

Great arty. Pre playoffs for VHL pls

Bros, y'all gotta ban me from Super Coach, printing 5 TPE a season!

@DarkSpyro you seen this?

I believe someone mentioned that an own goal with an empty net has occurred in the text of the sim so theoretically a goalie could "score" but I don't think the sim tracks them touching the puck last like that for a goal or something. im no expert but someone said the own goal thing has happened. 1 source, don't remember who, could be lying.

@dstevensonjr probably worth mentioning you, I didn't really paint this line of thinking in the pod but this is the vision I can see.

As a note, I know it may feel like I'm very much going on on Toronto but look at what they could do here: VAN - Borisyuk to Vancouver for Velvson and a pick. DAV - Dukat for Desjardins and a pick. NYA - DB IV for a pick. RIG - Callahan and Fitzroy for Robinson, Stanton, and a pick. CHI - Machado for Ivanov and a pick. They'd be adding 5 picks to the 1 they have now. On D they'd have S94 Skilton, S95 Desjardins, and S93 Stanton. On F S92 Shotzky, S94 Khan, S95 Shevchenko, S91 Ivanov, S95 Robinson, S90 Velvson, and S95 Belle (in minors currently but should come up next season.)

Time Stamps: 0:00 Intro 1:05 Riga acquires D Ben Laas from DC. @Lemorse7 @dustywilson22 @qripll 4:00 Seattle acquires F Theo Allard from DC for F Marek Nowaczyk. @Banackock @InstantRockstar @qripll @Chillybro 9:30 Moscow acquires D Montgomery Burns from Warsaw. @Spartan @LastOneUp @N0HBDY 10:45 LA moves on from Gustav Mattias? @InstantRockstar @Berocka @Lemorse7 @Will3 14:45 Riga Reigns, Legion kneels. @Baby Boomer @Lemorse7 @dstevensonjr @Dadam30 @mattyIceman @MSouthworth @sliceruser @horoscope @MSouthworth @wcats @Tim Robinson @Danzo @Moon 19:45 Davos reclaiming their destiny. @Alex @Anthique @dstevensonjr @Moon @wcats @Jubis @SirRupertBarnes @McLovin @McWolf 23:45 Mid York Americans BUY BUY BUY! @STZ @Esso2264 @dstevensonjr 26:45 Vancouver goes for the repeat! @Frank @Nykonax @dstevensonjr @PacifistKit17 27:45 Chicago reignites the fire! @badcolethetitan @Baby Boomer @Renomitsu @chikn@KmaddFPS @sliceruser @Dadam30 @PacifistKit17 @dstevensonjr 33:00 Weird ADHD Ass Outro, what am I on about? 35:00 Shout-out to my #1 fan! @Mysterious_Fish

1. No offense but personal glory is pretty huge. IRL I'd probably take a cup but in VHL, definitely here to see my player perform, hopefully that helps the team, but frankly I care a lot more about my stat line. 2. Players are random RNG and really the will of Simon, as a builder it requires your work to go noticed and appreciated which is more important. 3. Assuming I don't earn anything more after the TPE hits and I'm locked in, but I get to earn before the big dump, I'd take the 3rd year bump. Lock in ROTY. 4. I'm going to assume I can't take other people as I teleport but that is still quite strong. All the time I'd save by not driving places would mean I could read more if I wanted. I'm going with the teleportation. 6. Three wishes, wish for the powers of a genie without the restriction of needing someone to wish for me to use my powers or to find some dusty ass lamp to free me or whatever. 8. Flying feels like it would actually be worse than you expect. Invisibility assuming it's entirely voluntary could be cool, but I would also need it to work on my clothes and stuff I'm carrying or else it's kind of useless.