creed rant 4 (playoffs,coming up to the vhl,and philly agm spot)

[assassin6898 81]

Hello and welcome back to my bi weekly creed rant even though this has been posted the last two weeks is cause I'm waiting for my next article to type up for the next edition of vht so until then we continue on with the creed rants this week is about three things first, is about the vhlm playoffs and my hopes for my team to make it to the finals second, me coming up to the vhl for season 78 third, philly agm spot and my dream to be the agm. so with all that lets get right into it with first being the vhlm playoffs now if you read my weekly article called creed update/news every week you would know that I'm part of Halifax and we just made the playoffs with the 29th just right around the corner we have the us being underdogs but i have i hopes as we enter the playoffs with momentum i hope we make it to the finals but our biggest challenge in the playoffs is if we face Mississauga. they had a super season the best in the vhlm but we were the first team to give them their first lost so i have high hopes that we can win it all with the other teams looking for glory this is our chance to make it to the finals and win it all now if we do make the finals the team i want to face is my team i was on when i first joined and they took me in and that is @thadthrasher and the san diego marlins in the finals cause i want to show everyone on that team that i have indeed improved since leaving san Diego and show what I'm made of. now on to coming up to the vhl so if people don't know i was drafted to the d.c. dragons in the second round of the vhl draft and since then I've been claiming left and right to make it to the vhl and I'm about to I'm happy I can be apart of a team and my line dream of the penguin lineup can come true as i always say their will be a horn you will hear that will me you should run and hide and i cant wait for everyone in the vhl to hear it. now on to the philly agm spot that I've commented on to apply well what more can i say other than if Pittsburgh cant get a team in the vhl the next closes is philly and it so happens that an agm spot opened up and i would like to be strongly recommended for the spot @KaleebtheMighty cause i'm looking to prove I can be a gm in the future but i would also like to help the reapers anyway i can i know my job is lower than a gm but i can help by making suggestions of draft picks, trades, free agency, talking to the team, and to make sure people are upgrading. as i said if no Pittsburgh team then philly is the next best thing as i look at the team and i see it could be a place where I can fit in and help anyway i can. if I'm selected ill do everything i can to help with anything that needs to be done call this a resume I guess but I do hope I'm selected to be the agm of the reapers. this has been your weekly creed rant thank you for reading.

[thadthrasher 1,692]

Hey, thanks for the tag! I hope to see you in the playoffs at some point as well. Now, a review...

Your writing is coming along, but it still needs a bit of growth. First, be sure to use capitalization and punctuation. Otherwise, it's incredibly hard to following along with your thoughts and what you are writing. Second, I would try to break this down into a couple of paragraphs, just to make it easier to read. Overall, your work is improving and I look forward to seeing where it will go! 7/10

[assassin6898 81]

14 minutes ago, thadthrasher said:

Hey, thanks for the tag! I hope to see you in the playoffs at some point as well. Now, a review...

Your writing is coming along, but it still needs a bit of growth. First, be sure to use capitalization and punctuation. Otherwise, it's incredibly hard to following along with your thoughts and what you are writing. Second, I would try to break this down into a couple of paragraphs, just to make it easier to read. Overall, your work is improving and I look forward to seeing where it will go! 7/10

Thank you @thadthrasher for the input I've been looking at what i need to do but next rant it will be in paragraphs and got to review my periods again this was kind of rushed though since I'm close to 250 tpa and on my way to the vhl next season so i just took what i was thinking and ran with it so when i do reach 250 im prepared