theme week Drew Minott: The Difficulty of Stepping Away and What Happens After

[DreMin15 220]

 "Shit happens."

 

 Right?

 

 You're expected to get over whatever happened to you and keep moving forward. At least, according to the media. And the fans. And the management. Sometimes the only people you think care are the people in your inner circle. Family, friends, and a few teammates. Nobody else seems to give a fuck. 

 

 In the late stages of Season 74, I got ran. It didn't seem too big of a deal at the time. Except that I don't remember it. Yep, got concussed from it. Helmet flew off and cracked my head. Watching the tape back a couple of times, it's really my fault. Came out of my crease a little too far. "Fuck around and find out", one might say. But that's only just the beginning. I woke up in a hospital bed, asking if I could go back in. Didn't realize I was miles from the arena, and 12 hours after the game ended. Fuck, did those lights hurt my eyes. Turns out a sensitivity to light was one of the things I was going to deal with for a while. I had to get them to shut the blinds and turn the lights off to even see well. Turns out concussions are a bitch, who could have guessed it? 

 

 I was allowed to practice with the guys once my eyes went back to normal. I still had headaches. And the worst part of it all.

 

 The voices in the back of my head came out in full force.

 

 I couldn't make a save without the self-doubt creeping in. God forbid I let a goal in, it felt like my own head was screaming at me. Eventually I found a way to stop those voices. I started drinking. Am I proud of it? No. But I have to own up to it. One down the hatch before a game, I did well.  The voices shut up, and I could play well. But after the game, I kept going. I missed practices from being hungover. Maybe that shit could fly in the M, but not when I moved to the big leagues. After an abysmal rookie campaign, I went into the Player Assistance Program. I asked for it not to be publicized, for privacy and such. I came out sober. But I also came out with the voices again. Eventually, it got to where I had to step away. 

 

 After playing parts of S75 and S76 for LA, I sat down with our GM. I explained that I needed to step away. He understood, and wished me good luck. I got therapy. I went home, stayed with family. Got my head together. And then I made the hardest choice of my life. To retire from playing hockey. That may seem like the end of a journey, but to me it was just the beginning. I knew I couldn't stay away from the game for long.

 

 So I opened a youth hockey school, back home in Memphis. Not particularly many hockey rinks or leagues around here. So I became the solution to that problem. I've loved showing these kids how amazing the game of hockey can be. I've also stressed that there are some parts that can be bad. Obviously not to the younger kids. But to the teenagers, I do warn them that not everything is sunshine and rainbows. That there is a dark side to the game.  I've been preaching the idea of playing in a way that makes you not put yourself at risk too much.  But I think that I'm putting them on the right path.

 

 People have asked me if I would ever return to pro hockey in a different role. Coach or gm, something along those lines. I don't know if I ever will. I still love the game, so I might. Never say never. But for now, I'm contempt with teaching the next generation of kids. They need to have people who know what they're talking about guide them. There was one rink in Memphis when I was growing up. That's for both hockey and skating in general. Since I came back, I now run at least four. I try to provide cheap options for gear by buying second-hand and letting the kids use it for free. 

 

                        The voice are still there. The good thing is that I don't listen to them anymore. Don't let your demons control you.

 

Thank you for reading. -Drew Minott

 

 

[mattyIceman 1,109]

Minner!  Glad you're doing well buddy.

[DreMin15 220]

Just gonna say this in in-character, and I do not or have not had alcohol or depression problems