Poll: Tic Tacs Not A Great Weapon

[Doomsday 4,143]

Poll: Tic Tacs Not A Great Weapon

 

NEW YORK - When you think of a weapon, what do you think of? Most likely a gun, a sword, an M18 Hellcat tank destroyer or maybe a B2 Stealth Bomber? But how effective can a cheap breath mint be towards protecting you? In a recent poll conducted by a bored member of the MSFL Times, it has been recently discovered that Tic Tacs are most likely not the best option you have in a confrontation.

 

"Using Tic Tacs as a defense mechanism is not really a smart idea," said New York resident Bryan Smith. "Even if it's telling someone about their bad breath, they're not really going to help if they get offended by your suggestion."

 

"An infant would take you down if all you had was Tic Tacs," said an unidentified male person that then clipped a guy with his vehicle. Kind of resembled Tony Stewart now that I think of it.

 

Tic Tacs ranked rather low on the list of deadly objects, being beaten by the likes of cotton balls, earwax and Post It notes. Oddly enough, only Jakub Kjellberg was listed lower than Tic Tacs due to his inability to intimidate anyone.

 

Jethro Novacek is a contributor to the MSFL Times, which is now breathing without life support. He enjoys watching Sam Elliot movies, rescuing pigmen and trying to decipher Bob Dylan lyrics.

[Devise 4,475]

Orange tic tacs...my...wow. I used to consume so much of those at a kid. I once bought a box that they sent to the store with like 200 containers of tic tacs in it...

[Victor 11,015]

Kjellberg is a pussy.

[BOOM 8,816]

You've obviously never used hollow-point Tic Tacs.

[Doomsday 4,143]

You've obviously never used hollow-point Tic Tacs.

The Full Candied Jackets just don't give the kind of flavor penetration you'd expect.

Edited August 15, 2014 by Doomsday

[BOOM 8,816]

Hmmm, I see.