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Seymour Hungry for Points


fonziGG

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Have you ever thought about how hard it is to cut out cheesesteaks. It's literally the hardest fricken thing to do. All I want to do is go to Jim's South St. every single day if I could. Maybe I'm just a certified fat ass? Maybe I have a fancy tongue? I mean, its perception. Maybe VHL GM's don't want to draft me cause I eat like a fatty on a day to day basis. Oof.

 

Last time I spoke to you, I mentioned to you guys that I would be hiring a team to surround me and my career. I guess I should give you an update. Nothing happened. I literally wrote my blog post, passed out and woke up the next day and did none of the things I sought out to do then. Lifes hard guys, however I'm doing my best. This new week however, I'm going to turn things around!!! Maybe? I mean, I should right? You know what, I'm doing it. I don't even care what any of you say or don't say. It's happening as soon as possible. I've started reaching out to my agent to find the right people as I write this. This will happen within the next week or two.

 

This week, I spoke to the sports scientists and coaching staff and I think it's all agreed that I should up my strength. So for the next few weeks I will be working harder in the gym, pushing the iron as much as possible and getting gains. I've been told I also need to go on a diet a bit in order to replace some of my fat with muscle. The bigger I am, the bigger of an advantage I have with my size and all that. I was also told that my skating needs some work, which I already knew by the way, so we started running some extra drills outside of practice and gym work. I feel like I'm coming about as a player now. Everything is falling into place and I don't even have the entourage with me yet.

 

Alright update. I just got off the phone with my agent and he has the perfect person for my nutrition. The nutritionists name is Devon. Devon will be moving over to Philadelphia in the next week as he's currently living remotely in Cuba. He's already got some ideas on meals that should make me stronger and healthier. We're going to be leaning into a high protein low fat diet. Calories are set at 2200 calories and my work is up to chuff now. Devon is going to be bringing his chef as well, his name is Marcus. Marcus will be preparing all of our meals, specifically mine and will be working in conjunction with me and Devon. Devon on the other hand, will also be working with the sport scientists and coaching staff with Philadelphia. Whats amazing is that everyone is working in conjunction and theres very much a plan in place for me.

 

I'm excited for the future.

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1 hour ago, fonziGG said:

Have you ever thought about how hard it is to cut out cheesesteaks

Have you tried Clue Glue™? It'll help with that! (Apply directly to front door, problem solved)

 

1 hour ago, fonziGG said:

it's all agreed that I should up my strength

Have you tried Clue Glue™? It'll help with that! (Yes, it is in fact like a better version of Creatine)

 

1 hour ago, fonziGG said:

I also need to go on a diet a bit in order to replace some of my fat with muscle

Have you tried Clue Glue™? It'll help with that! (It also burns fat, somehow)

 

1 hour ago, fonziGG said:

I was also told that my skating needs some work

You're not going to believe this. But I think Clue Glue™ would also help with that! (Just rub it all over, it will likely help)

 

1 hour ago, fonziGG said:

He's already got some ideas on meals that should make me stronger and healthier.

You guessed it! Clue Glue™ is in fact the solution here too! (And boy is it tasty)

 

1 hour ago, fonziGG said:

I'm excited for the future.

With that much Clue Glue™ in your future, I really can't blame you!

 

Best of luck in your future endeavors Mr.Butts, on behalf of #TeamClue!

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REVIEW

 

Very unique approach to PTs here! I dig the blogpost idea honestly, I haven't really seen anything like it before. While it might not be the most refined form of Article it reads well and is pretty fun. Good job!

 

8/10

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On 12/19/2021 at 2:03 PM, Shindigs said:

You're not going to believe this. But I think Clue Glue™ would also help with that! (Just rub it all over, it will likely help)

 

I tried some... Instructions unclear, glued my ass cheeks together.

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On 12/19/2021 at 5:46 PM, Tomat0 said:

REVIEW

 

Very unique approach to PTs here! I dig the blogpost idea honestly, I haven't really seen anything like it before. While it might not be the most refined form of Article it reads well and is pretty fun. Good job!

 

8/10

Thanks @Tomat0.

 

How you been?

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1 minute ago, Squidward2 said:

I tried some... Instructions unclear, glued my ass cheeks together.

That has been known to happen. Just rub it all over the legs and it will form an exo-skeleton of sorts, really helps give that extra oomph! to your stride. Not to mention the effect on the hardness of your hip checks!

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