A New View on an Old Site - 15 Years and Counting

[Aimee 1,075]

15 Years of the Victory Hockey League. I mean, I feel like that short sentence says so much already. But what does it mean to me? Not a whole lot to be honest. 15 years ago this week, I would have been working my final summer job before heading off to college. I was excited about being about to finally make a Facebook account because I had an edu email address. And personally, I was struggling with who I was.

 

I was bullied a lot from first grade all the way until I graduated high school (ages 6 to 18 for the non-Americans). Near the end of my high school days, I started to get bullied for an assumed sexuality that I did not identify with. This meant that as soon I was out of that environment and could get a clear head, a lot of thinking was done. That summer I came to identify as being bisexual. Over the next year and a half at college, I changed that to being a lesbian. And just a few months ago, it developed once again and my gender changed from female to non-binary. In the real world, I still go by she/her pronouns and have slowly started to incorporate they/them. (So either one you call me personally is fine.) But this meant that I could use the internet to test it out. To see how it felt and to find out if it really was me or not.

 

When I joined the VHL only a month ago (boy time does go fast), I, as someone who has spent over 20 years on the internet in male dominated spaces, was hesitant to even give a whiff of being anything other than a straight cisgendered male. Also, as most if not all of you are, I too am a hockey fan which means I also understand how toxic fans can be both in real life and on the internet. I was worried about coming here and not knowing if I would be safe and was going under the assumption that there would be no female presence on the whole site. Man am I glad that was proven wrong.

 

What surprised me though, and made me feel safe right off the bat, was the fact that I had the chance to set my pronouns on my profile. I had not seen this in many spaces online outside of the big social media sites. So when I was given the chance, I took it. I figured I was an anonymous nobody who was checking out something that I could always just walk away from. It then came to my attention, thanks to @Shindigs, that this was a recent change made in the VHL. And not only that the option was given, but that the Code of Conduct has been re-written to be more inclusive. I also spoke with @fishysince it seems that they were the catalyst that kicked off these changes so I do want to thank them for being so brave and taking that first terrifying step that the rest of us get to safely follow.

 

Now, I can’t speak at all to what the league was like prior to these changes since I was not here nor do I dare to dig through the forums to find anything unsavory that may remain. But I will speak as someone who was hesitant to be open at all. When my player’s name was mentioned in their first ever article, the author used ‘he/him’ pronouns. Now, of course male is pretty default in this environment so I get it. But what made me realize that the VHL was different, was that someone commented that Jesse Teno’s pronouns were ‘they/them’ and the article was updated. So simple and easy that it makes it seem like child’s play.

 

I know I haven’t been here long, and I know I have a lot of learning still to do. But I do think that if the VHL can be as inclusive as it is, if not more, over the next 15 years, then I think the diversity will grow. If people like me and others who are different can find a home here, then the VHL will get through another 15 without issue.

 

714 words for week ending  7/24