The Board Game Clue Cannot Comment On What It Means To Be A Veteran As It Is Merely A Board Game That Is Incapable Of Speaking The Words That Would Convey To You What Being A Veteran Ice Hockey Player Entails

[MubbleFubbles 1,190]

Just what in the actual fuck are you?

 

I would say that it’s tough being a veteran board game on skates, but let’s face it, it’s not. But that’s purely because board games are not human beings. It can’t see the improvement in its game that’s not there because it’s ultimately still just a board game, specifically the board game Clue, just coasting around the ice on a pair of rather expensive ice skates for some ungodly reason. It can’t look down at themselves after picking up a minor injury and wonder how long it’s got left because not only is it not capable of having those thoughts, it isn’t likely going to pick up any injuries that are going to make it any better or any worse than how it already plays because it is a board game that’s only means of traversing the ice is by being attached to a pair of ice skates. I guess it could wind up with a hole or a dent in it’s cardboard exterior from a particularly strong slap shot that may also wind up doing irreparable damage to the lead pipe card, but it’s not going to care because caring just isn’t a thing that board games do, had it not been for the ice skates that take it down whatever path is convenient for the ice skates to navigate it to at that particular time, it would just be placed wherever it is doing absolutely fucking nothing, because of course it would, it’s a board game, it’s not Alex Ovechkin on skates, it’s Hasbro’s Clue perched on top of ice skates.

 

Perhaps the one blessing of being a board game that it isn’t going to realise is a blessing because board games simply aren’t capable of determining what a blessing is, much less counting said blessings up, is that it isn’t going to be affected by the abuse from the fans and the judgemental stares of the locker room when they realise that, yet again, the Chicago Phoenix (a professional outlet for ice hockey that predominantly pays actual human beings to participate in the sport) ignored their pleas for them to ice somebody (or even something, they aren’t going to judge at this rate, they’ve sat through one and a half real-life years of watching a board game saunter around on the ice under the pretence of being a hockey player) that is capable of picking up a hockey stick and has at least a solid grasp of how hockey is played and instead continues to ice a non-sentient cardboard-plastic-steel hybrid mess. Those judgements have not changed much from being a rookie to being a veteran, instead of the thoughts being “Sorry, what are we doing playing this piece of trash masquerading as a hockey player?”, they now ask “Jesus, when in the blue fuck are we going to stop playing this piece of trash masquerading as a hockey player?”

[AJW 1,744]

Mubble wrote a whole .com article in the title damn 

[Shindigs 1,771]

2 minutes ago, ajwllmsn said:

Mubble wrote a whole .com article in the title damn 

It's the #TeamClue way!