Gregger McKeggegger's Unconventional Rivalry

[TheNeonShaman 214]

*Did I make a theme week media spot about my player's rivalry with his digestive system? Yes. Enjoy.*

 

*show's intro plays*

Joe Smith: Hello folks and welcome back to the show, and today we have a rather peculiar story to headline our interview. Today we will be talking to Ottawa Lynx star Gregger McKeggegger, more specifically about his pregame routine. Before a stepping onto gameday ice, before lacing up the skates, before even driving to the rink, Gregger McKeggegger has a battle to fight. His pregame meals have been the bane of his existence for his whole career. He has such an issue deciding what to eat, because he has a strangely sensitive stomach. When McKeggegger finishes a game, there is a 50/50 chance you can find him in the bathroom. One time a reporter was so impatient to talk to him, he went into the bathroom with McKeggegger and tried to talk to the player while he shattered porcelain. That reporter did not keep his job. In any case, the thing that makes Gregger's problem so confusing, is how meals will never keep the same result. He's had mac and cheese as a perfect pregain carbo load, then the next time he tried it, he had to leave the bench at the end of the 3rd period in desperation. So without further ado, let's bring on Mr. McKeggegger and get some more insight!

*Gregger McKeggegger slowly walks into frame and sits down across from Joe. He looks extremely reluctant.*

Smith: Hello Gregger! I'm very excited to talk with you today!

Gregger McKeggegger: Yeah I uh, I'm contractually obligated to be here.

Smith: Well I'd like to get right to the point of the matter, why do you have such struggles with your digestive system and pre-game meals?

McKeggegger: Oh wow uh, I mean I'm not sure. I haven't really gotten any medical reason, just I- Do I really have to talk about this? *Smith taps a paper on his desk* Oh man okay, yeah I mean pre-game meals sometimes don't agree with me after a game. Usually right after. And there hasn't seem to been a fix, some meals work one night and then fail the next. It really is infuriating and I just want to- *McKeggegger realizes he's starting to get heated about this topic on live television and he sinks into his chair*

Smith: That does sound awful, we actually have some stats here on this blossoming rivalry, and- *McKeggegger's mouth opens slightly and his eyes widen* -the numbers are fascinating. When having breakfast for dinner, McKeggegger has had to use the bathroom 26/40 times. Chinese food has a strange impact, having a 12 out of 24 rate, an even .500. Pasta used to be successful, starting off on 6 straight dinners without a rush to the bathroom after, however now the last 38 times ol 'Kegger here has had pasta there's been a disaster. It really does make you wonder, what do you think the secret cure will be?

McKeggegger: And i'm not gonna say, I am not taking any chances with jinxes. I will triumph over my stupid pre-game meals. And wait, did you steal that paper from my house? I'm the only one who should have access to those stats.

Smith: I did not take a single thing while I explored your house.

McKeggegger: You wha-

Smith: And that's where we are going to be ending today's interview! *McKeggegger just stares at him in shock* Thanks so much for coming on the show Gregger!

*show's outro plays*

 

Word Count : 595

For Week of 2/19

Edited February 16, 2023 by TheNeonShaman

[Greg_Di 1,028]

Review:

 

This was hilarious and something I was not expecting. Definitely chuckled a few times as I read about McKeggegger's digestive issues and him shattering porcelain! The only things I would change is put spaces in between each response paragraph so that it does not look like one big run-on sentence and maybe a different color for the interviewer or McKeggegger. Picture would help the article pop as well. Well done though, haven't laughed at a media spot in a while! 9/10