Pajodcast Mid-Season Draft Projection

[Corco 1,237]

Casting a Shadow on the Draft

Centers Rift Pajodcast and Gifford Shock are two of the top prospects in the S41 draft (Pajodcast is better though)

 

 

RANDOM CITY, Random Country - Nearly halfway through the S40 campaign, best prospect ever Rift Pajodcast is starting to receive interest from VHL teams who wish to acquire his services in the draft, thus prompting him to release the following rankings of his interest in the VHL teams.

 

 

 

#10. Cologne Express

Analysis: I would never play here, at least not with the current roster they have. I would sooner retire or hold out and not play than have to share a jersey with the likes of cancerous whiners Thomas O'Malley and Mason Richardson. Noted peeping tom Wesley Kellinger is there right now, but he'll be gone by the time Pajodcast is in the league since he is an old fuck. All of this was bad enough, but then I saw how much of a bust Blaine Olynick has become. He only has 387 TPE in 3/4 seasons and he is supposed to be a franchise goaltender? I don't think so. Not only that, but there are VHLM franchises that have better success signing free agents. I wasn't kidding about retiring if I was drafted here either, I have other silly names for future players.

 

 

#9. Vasteras Iron Eagles

Analysis: The only reason the Iron Eagles are at this point of the list is due to the fact that they will no longer be in Vasteras next season. The team is relocating to some other stupid location, which is stupid considering it is the equivalent of girls wearing makeup. I have no qualms with any of the members on the team now or any of the prospects, they are all fine, however I will never be playing for this team if their location is not in Vasteras.

 

 

#8. Quebec City Meute

Analysis: Quebec is still scum to me because of the Valiq's incestual gay love affair and the Scumlar Rift decision. It also doesn't help that before every game Konstantin Azhishchenkov can be found feverishly masturbating with a hammer and sickle while watching a group of small asian boys singing the Russian national anthem on his iPhone in the team shower wearing nothing but an ushanka. They have kesler too, who sucks but isn't as bad as it used to be. I'm worried for Koji Yamazaki's health with Azhishchenkov constantly eye-fucking him in the locker room, the only thing protecting Koji being the team logo (cannot be stepped on).

 

 

#7. Seattle Bears

Analysis: This is the most melancholy franchise in the VHL at this point in time. Going to Seattle would be the equivalent of being sent to purgatory after death. There is no good, and no bad; just empty nothingness. The GM is better than people give him credit, but I've already been on enough teams that had a GM that tried his best, only to still be fucked over by various circumstances. If I was drafted here and improvements weren't seen by the second season, I would most likely leave via free agency.

 

 

#6. HC Davos Dynamo

Analysis: I don't really not like Davos, but I don't really like them either. They currently have three firsts, so I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to draft the best prospect since Scotty Campbell. Though they do have three exciting prospects in Kurtis Hunter, Vladimir Komarov, and CollegeHumor writer Joshua Rubin. The logo and color scheme is meh and a logo re-brand would definitely be welcomed.

 

 

#5. Riga Reign

Analysis: Riga is alright. The only knock I would have against them would be the fact that they have an aging core; their prospect pool is also quite dry with the exception of Alistar Graves. They also don't have a 1st round pick this year, and I don't like them enough to demand to only be drafted by them and hold out until the 2nd round. So if they wanted to draft their future franchise player, they would need to trade one of their beauties to get 1st overall.

 

 

#4. Calgary Wranglers

Analysis: Despite being #4 on this list, the Calgary Wranglers are the team I would probably be happiest to go to. Hell, I might demand to only go to a team such as Calgary. Everybody likes to shit on Calgary and General Manager Jason Glasser because they don't like his decisions, but being a former genius GM myself, I know sheer brilliance when I see it. Problem is, Calgary doesn't have a 2nd rounder this year, and they really don't have any expendable assets to acquire a 1st. Also, the future is bright, but in the same way that a black light is bright; still bright, but also still dark.

 

 

#3. Toronto Legion

Analysis: Toronto is the hockey capital of the world, so grabbing the future greatest player in the history of the game, Rift Pajodcast, would result in some much needed limelight for the legend. The Legion have a stellar young core of good prospects, such as Edd Grr and nobody else. The major reason for them being ranked at #3 is their complete lack of any future franchise goaltender, while the minor reason for their ranking is that the Legion already have two very young centers on their team in Devin Sundberg and Tyler Cote, and I don't want them to have to move one of those players to make room for me.

 

#2. Helsinki Titans

Analysis: I like what Helstinki has done with their franchise in the past couple of seasons. And by that I mean that I like how they lucked out and nabbed 1-4 possible Hall of Famers in recent years. It truly is amazing how that's possible. Pajodcast could fit right in on the roster in upcoming season due to the impending retirement of Damon Tyrael and the slowed development of Tyson Stokes. The defensive core is very strong with Jake Wylde and Don Draper, although Kimmo Salo's work ethic recently could be a possible red flag if it isn't fixed relatively soon.

 

 

#1. New York Americans

Analysis: This team has quite a few nice pieces, such as Tom Slaughter and Conner Low, but the main reason for them being #1 is the opportunity to play on the same team as Jody 3 Moons. Therein lies the problem though, as the team currently has the rights of three VHL-caliber centers in Tom Slaughter, Jody 3 Moons, and Bennett Wahl. That shouldn't be a problem though, considering Rift Pajodcast has a bit of a special connection to the Americans franchise and Bennett Wahl can be a lazy fuck. Fuck Sam Keeler though, guy is a cock.

[Victor 10,940]

Purple ftw tbh

[HawksFan19 89]

Content: 3/3

 

Very in-depth/harsh rankings of all the teams, I like how you express your mind Corco. Nice to see Helstinki at #2 would love to play with you! 1117 words.

 

Grammar: 2/2

 

Nothing!

 

Appearance: 1/1

 

Looks good.

 

FINAL: 6/6