Entry-Level VHL Salaries Slashed, Players Befuddled

[Renomitsu 934]

UNKNOWN – In an undisclosed-yet-discovered location, the infamous VHL leadership makes decisions that send ripples throughout the entire league. A few select individuals have found their way to the VHL HQ, where the league’s “Commissioner” crew ultimately decides the fate of dozens of players that populate their league.

 

Less than an hour ago, the public side of an announcement affecting a very large number of entry-level VHL players was introduced without much of a chance for response. Indeed, the 400-500 “TPE bracket” – another undescribed metric leaving players mystified as to exactly what they’re using to grade players’ talent – had their salaries summarily slashed by $250,000, from $1.75m to $1.5m while on the rookie scale. Sure, prime players who don’t find their way past the 400 “TPE” hump will find themselves still paid the same $2m base salary,  but players in their first couple of seasons will be out another quarter million dollars.

 

“I think it’s ridiculous,” one anonymously surveyed player said, “the MAN is trying to keep us down with these salary cuts. $250k is a huge amount of money for a new VHL player just trying to make it in the big leagues, especially if we’ve been struggling through the M and the E to get there in the first place. It’s not easy to move my family back from Europe after all’s said and done. Why would @Spartan  do this?”

 

On an unrelated note, VHLM Commissioner Spartan was seen purchasing a third private jet, a second yacht, and, like, three bubble tea shop franchise locations. Rude.

 

[Spartan 4,531]

Absolutely infuriated by these allegations. Never before in my life have I been so insulted by such accusations.

 

I fucking despise bubble tea and would never own 1, let alone 3 bubble tea locations. 

Edited August 7, 2023 by Spartan