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Claimed:Rift Pajodcast Bio [Need 2nd Grade]


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Rift Pajodcast Biography





195 lbs.

Birthplace: Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina




Childhood: Born in Sarajevo, Pajodcast quite the rough childhood. Forced to fight for his homeland, Pajodcast became the record holder for most confirmed kills as a member of the infant infantry. By the ripe old age of 10 months, Pajodcast had single-handedly slaughtered over 2,000 besieging Serbs. Upon viewing his son repeatedly dangle and snipe enemy Serbs high top cheddar from over 1 kilometer away, father Rauno knew it was time that his son took up ice hockey. Immediately after, Rift Pajodcast joined his local youth ice hockey club, the Sarajevo Iron Kurtains. It was there that the young star scored a record 592 points in 40 games. The league had to instill measures to make the rules fair for everybody else, such as forcing Pajodcast to play blindfolded, buttplugged, and handcuffed, although Pajodcast still exelled.



High School: Pajodcast was already a superstar by the time he would enter high school. Father Rauno Pajodcast knew that Sarajevo ice hockey had nothing more to offer his talented son. So, he shipped his son off to East Great Falls High School, in Michigan, USA. It was there that Pajodcast would do great things, scoring 719 points in 78 career games, leading the team to four straight national championships. But there was only one problem; by the end of his senior year, Pajodcast was still a virgin. His core group of four friends were all also virgins, and they made a pact to lose their virginity before the end of senior prom. But even before that, Pajodcast ran into a bit of trouble, as he was caught fucking a warm apple pie by his billet father after being told by his friends that that was what a vagina felt like. But after that, Pajodcast managed to somehow get the hot, foreign exchange student Svetlana Russianovchuk in his room, naked. It was there that he prematurely ejaculated not one, but twice, forever making him the loser of the school. 



College: Hoping to get as far away as possible from East Great Falls, Pajodcast took his talents to the mystical Blue Mountain State University. Throughout his four years at the midwestern college, Pajodcast drank himself to the brink of death and wheeled mad rockets on the daily. In four years, Pajodcast won the Hobey Baker Award four years in a row as the best college hockey player in the nation, scoring more than 100 points each season and leading the team to four national championships, just like high school. 








Skating: Pajodcast could have been a world champion figure skater if Bosnia and Herzegovina had needed him. The edge control and agility that Pajodcast displays on the ice is simply unmatched by any non-god being. Pajodcast also holds the world record for fastest lap around the rink at 23 picoseconds.


Shut-down Capabilities: Pajodcast specializes in area-denial, as evidenced by his glittering +/- rating in his overall amateur career (+3,136). The opposing players often don't even attempt to touch the puck when Pajodcast is on the ice for they know the reckoning that will meet them should they even dare try to score. Also worth noting, is his continuing mastery in the faceoff dot, Pajodcast stares through the soul of his opponent before decimating him at the puck drop; hence why he has never lost a face-off once in his life.


Intangibles: Nobody has better intangibles than Rift Pajodcast, nobody. He is a proven winner at all levels, and has never been on a team that did not completely annihilate all opposition en route to a glorious championship. A born leader, you want Pajodcast on your side when the game is getting down and dirty, and your team needs a clutch performer.










Work Ethic: Despite every fan already drooling over his accomplishments in his career, Pajodcast is only giving his minimal effort. Pajodcast tried once, and his shot broke the sound barrier and every glass pane in the rink and a surrounding 5-mile radius. Due to all the property damage and repair fees, Pajodcast is no longer allowed to put more than 2% effort on planet earth. 


Fighting: Even with all of his emotional and psychological intimidation, Pajodcast has never once in his life laid his perfect and smooth hands on a disgusting, non-pure homo sapien. No human currently alive is worth the effort required by Pajodcast to receive the ass-reckoning. No but for real though, I'm not putting any points into fighting with Pajodcast. Too much of a waste.


Offensive Game: You look at the records Pajodcast has set, and you think "offensive wizard", right? Wrong. Pajodcast doesn't really haven any offensive talent, his scoring prowess is more just a result of the entire opposing team skating away (including the goalie) once Pajodcast enters the offensive zone with the puck on his stick. Pajodcast will be the best-worst offensive player the VHL has ever seen.

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Overview- 2.5/3 - The content was a little short, particularly because of how similar some of it is to other stories I've heard/movies I've seen. It was entertaining though. 

Grammar- 2/2 - 

Pajodcast quite the rough childhood. -- had quite

exelled -- excelled

Presentation- 1/1 - Looks good to me, although it is missing three headed images.

Pros- 2/2 - Both of these look good, and were amusing. 

Cons- 2/2 - ^

Overall- 9.5/10

Edited by Molholt
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Overview: 3/3 - Interesting story. Pajodcast's accomplishments match those of Kim Jong-il, (719 points in 78 games). I bet Pajodcast could get 8 hole in ones to defeat Jong il's 7 in a game of golf. 


Grammar: 2/2 - Moholt got everything.


Presentation: 1/1 - Looks good.


Pros: 2/2 - Nice writing. Met word requirement by 1 word :)


Cons: 1.75/2 - 194/200 words


Overall: 9.75/10


Total: 10/10

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