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RGIII Achieves His Goal, denounces giraffes


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RGIII has achieved his goal of getting at least a point per game this season, as he has 72 points with 6 games remaining in the season. This is the first season RGIII has ever averaged a point per game, and he attributes it to one thing, "I decided giraffes were not working for me so far in my career, so I decided to switch to a new animal. I now have decided I love penguins." 


Riga is gearing up for a playoff run, and for once RGIII feels like he will be able to help his team. The past few seasons, RGIII felt like he had let down his team as his poor performance was part of the reason they were never able to win the cup. 


In the upcoming playoffs, RGIII plans on doing the following:


Beating up Don Draper in a fight

Getting a hat trick against Helstinky

Raiding Matt Bentley's fridge for old man snacks

Causing Don Draper to commit 5 penalties in a game

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