Running With the Bulls: The Heisenberg Principle

[LucyXpher 618]

 

Nobel Prize winning theoretical physicist, Werner Heisenberg, discovered what became known as the eponymous Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle in 1927.  

Short of embarrassing myself trying to explain quantum mechanics and particle movement as though I have even the most remote idea what I’m talking about, the way-too-short and extremely oversimplified implication of his discovery is this:

 

You can never be sure of everything.  

 

Let me give you an example— if I told you that Bulls rookie goaltender, Ondrej Vencko, posted a .960 save percentage, allowing only 1 goal on 25 shots in his first VHLM start against the San Diego Marlins, you’d likely expect me to tell you next that Houston won the game. Certainly you could say that he put in a performance worthy of a victory…right? 

 

Contrast that with the performance of Houston’s other rookie netminder, third round selection, Herald Benson, who posted an .875 and allowed 4 goals on 32 shots.  

 

Please don’t get it twisted, I’m not dumping on Benson.  I like the guy and I think he’s got a bright future ahead of him, but I think he’d be the first to tell you this was not an ideal individual start to his career.  

 

After two games, the Bulls sit at a record of 1-0-1.  One of the above goalies claimed a win for his team, while the other took the loss in a shootout.  Considering Benson came into S92 as the frontrunner to win the Houston net, could Vencko already be breathing down his neck, threatening to usurp his high draft pedigree only two games into the season— queue the goaltending controversy!

 

Well…not exactly and here’s why.  It was Benson who claimed the Bulls’ first win of the season, closing the door when it mattered most and holding out for a 6-4 Bulls victory against the Saskatoon Wild.  Vencko, known drug apathist, was saddled with the loss as he failed to make a save against Marlins RW, Dietrich Reingaard, who slotted the puck past him in the second round of the shootout.  

 

Certainly, you could make a compelling case that Vencko lacked the goal support that Benson had in the first game.  Though Benson proved to be a little leaky, his team helped him out by scoring 6 to nullify the 4 he allowed.  For Vencko, the team in front of him was 0-3 on shootout attempts and 0-4 on the power play, managing only 1 goal on 28 shots.  Surely the goalie can’t be relied upon to stop the puck AND score goals to win the game? 

 

Well…it’s not as though it hasn’t happened , and in the spirit of Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, you never can be sure that it shouldn’t happen.

 

Hear me out, I’m not saying Vencko needs to provide his own goal support, but the bottom line is this: he lost and Benson won.  At the end of the day, a goalie wears the record of his team’s wins and losses, and through two games, it’s Benson who carries the coveted W.  

 

And on the topic of carrying, let’s get to what this article is really about, the real reason I fumbled my way through a horrendous metaphor for the Heisenberg Principle.  Are we really sure that Ondrej Vencko doesn’t “care” about drugs? 

 

I mean, look, a strange Czech man was stopped in the arena parking lot while carrying a pound of the clearest crystal meth you’ll ever see, mere hours after Vencko arrived in Houston from Czechia.  

 

For those who don’t know, this was not your average crystal.  I spoke to DEA agent Schrader who came all the way to Houston from Albuquerque just to follow this case and he had this to say: 

 

“It was like glass.  We’re not just talking about some street trash, Chile-P special, peddled by some burnout called Skinny Pete.  This was high grade stuff, and whoever is producing it is not in the meth business— they’re in the empire business. 10 bucks says there’s another Czech involved.”

 

Clearly this stuff was cooked up in a camper van out in the boonies, far from prying eyes, probably with bullet holes in the door because that’s just how these things go.

 

Oh, and did I mention that Vencko is Czech? 

 

What’s the saying? If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it’s probably a methamphetamine addict who also happens to be Czech.  Did I get that right?  

 

Bulls Assistant Captain, Chris Reynolds Jr., was quoted earlier this week as saying, “We gotta get him [Vencko] addicted to getting wins instead.”

 

It’s a telling statement considering Vencko wasn’t able to claim a win in his first outing, and pay attention to Reynolds Jr.’s word choice— “instead.” 

 

Instead of what?  

 

Folks, there is a goaltending controversy in Houston, but it’s not the one you expected.    

 

Are we really just going to take Vencko at his word when he says he “doesn’t care” about drugs?  I mean, seriously, “Because I say so,” just isn’t going to cut it.  

 

So far he hasn’t demonstrated a winning record and even his teammates seem to be hinting at something going on behind the scenes.  

 

To bring it back to old Heisenberg’s Principle, you can never be sure of everything.  

 

Some say Vencko is Hasek 2.0.  An 0-0-1 record so far says otherwise.

 

At his word, he doesn’t care about drugs— but the surety of his word seems to be drifting further and further out of focus as days and hours go by.  

 

Look, I know, “Just because you shot Jesse James, don’t make you Jesse James.” 

 

I can’t sit here writing this with any degree of surety about anything, and lest I be accused of picking on one young Czech player, let me just say that there’s at least one other Czech native on this team.  Has anyone looked in on Zinek lately?

 

I’ll be following this story closely as the season progresses so stay tuned to see if any more breaking news comes to light.  

 

 

Lauren Lambert for VHL.com

1004 words: claiming PT for week ending on Jan. 21st

Edited February 5 by LucyXpher

[jake 84]

great job

[Gustav 6,149]

Wanted to drop in to say that you’re a really good writer! I’m excited to see how this VHL thing works out for you, because that’s certainly a way to get on the right track. 

[LucyXpher 618]

33 minutes ago, Gustav said:

Wanted to drop in to say that you’re a really good writer! I’m excited to see how this VHL thing works out for you, because that’s certainly a way to get on the right track. 

Thanks! I appreciate it!

[tcookie 684]

Oh no what has Vencko gotten himself into hahaha