NOVAWIRE - Halifax 21st’s Robin Sierra: VHLM Star, Hatricks, Halifax, and Pride.

[ethanjaeda 139]

 NOVAWIRE - Halifax 21st’s Robin Sierra: VHLM Star, Hatricks, Halifax, and Pride.
  Story by Zachary Michel 

 

  Halifax 21st’s S93 signing of Robin Sierra on waivers has proven massive dividends for both parties involved, with Number 97 leading the team in points during the opening of the season, and with Robin Sierra-Martineau finding what it means to be a hockey player. The soon to be 19 year old’s contract for the Halifax 21st wasn’t met with much hype within th VHLM or Halifax itself–which during an exclusive interview with The Novawire, the hockey centre expresses thankfulness for. 

 

  “I was in my apartment in Halifax…throwing up,” Sierra said during our sit down in that same apartment. I suddenly regretted asking to use the bathroom. “All I did was google the seat count of the Citadel. Previously I was playing in…everything but an arena. [...] I was sort of glad there wasn’t a lot of talk around me, because I didn’t need anybody asking ‘who is this random centre taking penalties?’” 

 

  Sierra, who just started his second season with the Halifax 21st, has clearly gotten over the stage fright associated with playing at the Citadel, scoring eighteen goals in the first week of the new season.

 

  Zachary Michel (ZM): “So the obvious question, how do you feel?” 

 

  Robin Sierra (RS): “Pretty good!” 
 

  ZM: “Is there anything in particular that shifted for you, whether in practice, or what have you?” 

RS: “...I think definitely my mentality. I’m a lot more comfortable on the ice, during games and during practice, I’ve dropped a lot of the…anxiety I had before. There’s a lot less to prove now. Especially now.” 

 

  ZM: “What did you have to prove before?” 

 

  RS: “Maybe prove was the wrong word, but there was a lot of…promises I made. A lot of eyes were on me in my personal life.” 

 

  ZM: “Parents?” 

 

  RS: “No, actually. I mean a little, like I said in my biography, uh…during Hurricane Maria the only thing my mom really saved were my first pair of ice-slash-roller skates and my first helmet. It’s one of the few things she saved [...], and I feel guilty if I don’t…put it to good use, if that makes sense?” 

 

  ZM: “For sure.” 

 

  RS: “I also have a cousin from New York who’s my biggest fan, and he’s kind of the reason I’m even here.” 

  
  ZM: “What do you mean?” 

 

  RS: “Well…it’s really a roundabout…type of way.” 

 

  ZM: “I’m all ears.” 

 

  RS: “Well…I was in New York for this like…tournaments…skill…” 

 

  ZM: “Top Prospects Tournament?” 

 

  RS: “That’s it–for this junior beer league I was in when I was like…sixteen? I remember we were on his roof, relaxing, smoki–” 

 

  There was silence. 

 

  RS: “Just chillin’...y’know.” 

 

  ZM: “...How’d you get the smell out of your clothes? I never figured that out.” 

 

  RS: “Hoodie in July.” 

 

  ZM: “Gotcha.” 

 

  RS: “Anyway, we were…doing legal activities...and I was having second thoughts of even going because I thought it was pointless, but he [said], ‘You’re sitting here, wearing a NJ Devils hoodie, your skates are in your bag, and you’re sitting here–with a loser (allegedly) smoking when you have a game tomorrow. An important game tomorrow. One part of you thought it had a point. The other part of you just wants to ignore the bleeding part of you that wants it.’ So I went. And that’s where I met [my agent].” 

 

  ZM: “I see.” 

 

  RS: “I say he’s my cousin but he’s more like a sibling. He’s the reason my middle name is Mateo. He has my skate blade from my first VHLM Game.” 

 

  We then descended into a tangent about nothing in particular. 

 

  ZM: “So you said something about being more comfortable on the ice, is there anything else that helps you be more relaxed on the ice?”
 

  RS: “I think definitely the…environment. Halifax is an amazing city, the 21st is an amazing team, and for the first time, I feel like an actual hockey player. Not a freak pretending to be one.” 

 

  ZM: “Why did you feel like that in the past?” 

 

  RS: “...I was just never…a ‘normal’ kid. Or person. I was always too ‘something’. Essentially if I wanted to play hockey, I had to force myself into this mould.” 

  
ZM: “What did…the mould look like?” 

 

  RS: “A straight person.” 

 

  ZM: “...What do you mean?” 

 

  RS: “I’m gay.” 

 

  ZM: “...Oh.” 

 

  RS: “I haven’t exactly been hiding it. I called Skilton cute in a press conference. My profile picture on WhatsApp is of me at Toronto pride. I was the model recently for the Halifax Pride jerseys. There’s an Ultraviolence vinyl behind you.” 

 

  I turned around. To check. From what I recognised, Troye Sivan, Conan Gray, Chappell Roan, and Artpop by Lady Gaga. 

 

  RS: “I like musicals. There’s a Luke Prokop jersey next to the front door and I hate Nashville.” 

 

  ZM: “...Okay. How…how do we want to go about this?” 

 

  RS: “What do you mean?” 

 

  ZM: “Do you want me to run…any of this?” 

 

  RS: “Yeah, I mean, that’s why you’re in my apartment.” 

 

  ZM: “...This just…I mean it’s heavy, dude.” 

 

  RS: “Life is heavy.” 

 

  ZM: “...Is Halifax the only place you’ve felt able to…share that?” 

 

  RS: “It’s the only place where I felt…that it didn’t matter. There’s a scene from POSE–great show, by the way, you need to watch it–where one of the trans characters says after finding out her modelling company doesn’t care that she’s trans, she goes ‘I don’t have to hide anymore?’. It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t gone through it before, because ‘hide’ doesn’t really do it justice. It’s so much more than hiding, you feel like a criminal for simply existing. My existence is perverse–especially in hockey.” 

 

  ZM: “Perverse?” 

 

  RS: “You know how men aren’t allowed in women’s locker rooms?” 

 

  ZM: “Sure.” 

 

  RS: “To a room full of toxically straight, insecure, muscular male hockey players, I’m the creep and they’re the girls in bikinis.” 

 

  ZM: “You feel like a predator?” 

 

  RS: “I was treated like one. I got called ‘disgusting’, I was told that [all gay people] are paedophiles, words you can imagine that I won’t repeat because I don’t want your editor to deal with censoring things. And it’s not like I could just…hide it all away–which I did for a while. And the reality is it’s an infinitesimally small part of me, yet it has been pivotal to my life.” 

 

  ZM: “How so?” 

 

  RS: “Do a British accent.” 

 

  ZM: “…What?”

 

  RS: “Do a British accent for twelve hours a day around people you can’t trust to have a Quebecois accent with. Exactly. You can’t because you’re not British. It isn’t how you’re made. I didn’t have that luxury. So I became a liar. I became a pretender. I got really, really good at lying. That’s what I did for hockey. I lied for a decade. To thousands. I dissected myself in half for hockey. That’s what I did.” 

 

  ZM: “...Why?”

 

  RS: “Because I didn’t want to end up like Steve Moore. He was straight and he was never able to play again–could you imagine what someone would do to someone they think of us as a threat? It’d be a miracle if I’d ever be able to walk again.” 

 

  ZM: “...Did you ever think of switching…professions? Not that you should, but…did you ever think of ever…doing something safer for you?” 

 

  RS: “I did. A lot. But then I’d lose the other half of me.” 

 

  ZM: “...That’s a line.” 

 

  RS: “I fucking know right?” 

 

    When I got in my car this morning, this was the last thing I was expecting. Even now, it feels wrong to write something this heavy. It’s weirdly fitting for our first June publication, and Sierra’s reasoning and statements aren’t unfounded. To date, there has been–to the Novawire’s knowledge–only one openly gay player under contract for the NHL. For the VHL, the number is thankfully higher, including one of Robin Sierra’s favourites–Warsaw Predators goalie Lachlan Summers. 

 

  RS: “I like his name. It’s…very…nice to say. Y’know? He’s also an amazing player, so that kind of helps.” 

 

  ZM: “...That's the only reason?” 

 

  RS: “...His accent’s…nice. Pretty nice, actually. I’ve heard worse.” 

 

  ZM: “Do you blush when talking about every good player or only certain ones?” 

 

  RS: “Oh, fuck off, I don’t blush.” 

 

  ZM: “I just had my eyes checked–” 

 

  RS: “You think I won’t kick you out of my house, that’s what's so funny Zachary Keith Michel.” 

 

  ZM: “...That was uncalled for.” 

 

  RS: “Very much was.” 

 

  ZM: “...”

 

  RS: “...” 

 

  ZM: “...” 

 

  RS: “Fine he’s cute.” 

 

  Rudeness aside, I reached out to the Halifax 21st and asked for comment, with Sierra’s permission. 

 

  "Since joining our team, Robin has been nothing but a hard working, caring, and compassionate teammate.  To think of what he's gone through and faced in hockey coming up is honestly heartbreaking.  I'm so proud of Robin for his courage and so grateful that he trusted us enough to share such a deep and personal part of himself with us. It's our responsibility as friends and teammates to ensure he's treated with the dignity and respect he deserves as a member of this organisation.  I know he's well loved by all his teammates in Halifax and we will continue to support him any way we can as he continues his hockey journey." – Lexie Leitner, GM Halifax 21st. 

 

  Lachlan Summers, the aforementioned openly gay goalie (and Robin’s alleged crush), had this to say when we reached out to him for comment: 

 

  “I remember being in Robin’s shoes when I was younger, trying to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be, and struggling with it. It’s difficult— especially in hockey when there’s still stigma around a lot of things and even bringing up your identity is considered taboo in some places, but when you have a great support system, it finally gives you a sense of belonging and I’m so happy to see that the VHLM, VHLE, and VHL are still providing that open-minded and welcoming environment for all. If I can be a role model for players like Robin and show them that— hey, you belong here on the ice no matter what the hell others may have to say—then I’ve done something right in my career. I’m really looking forward to seeing what a player of his calibre can do in the VHL in the near future.”
 

  Before I concluded my interview with Robin, I still felt uneasy with handling something this heavy. 

 

  ZM: “Are you sure you want me to run this? I’ll delete [the audio recording of this interview] like that.” 

 

  RS: “...I’m tired of having to lie just so the feelings of pathetic, insecure, weak men control my life. They can paralyse me all they want, for that won’t chase away the demons they see when they look in a mirror. I’m alive.” 

 

  RS: “I’m happy.” 

 

  And with that, I concluded the interview and was given a plate of homemade Mofongo, courtesy of Sierra’s mother, María Colón Sierra. It’s been three hours since I’ve ate it, and I feel like I’m going through withdrawals. Twelve out of ten.

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words: 1,869 (nice.)

[ethanjaeda 139]

thanks to @LucyXpher and @kirbithan for giving quotes for this : D ! 

Edited June 7 by ethanjaeda
i dont want a UGLY emoji i want an emoticon

[LucyXpher 1,588]

Ethan, this is absolutely amazing!  I said it to you before, but I'm saying it again now because it's true, this is legitimately one of the best pieces of writing I've read on this forum!  The way you write dialogue, the playfulness of your player with the interviewer, the way your characters are given life, and most especially, the important subject matter you take on makes this a piece no one should miss.  And your graphic for the cover is soooo good!  I can't tell you enough how much I enjoyed reading this and how important it is, and I'm so glad I could contribute!  You're incredible, Ethan!

 

[tcookie 931]

Oh this is really, really good. Great job! The cover graphic is awesome too.

[kirbithan 1,767]

I’ve already said this before, but this is such a beautifully written article and an amazing read! Such an important topic that was handled flawlessly in your work. Great to see media spots like this during Pride Month! Absolutely adore the personalities of all the characters and the dialogue flows fantastically. So happy I was able to contribute! Please keep up the awesome work and can’t wait to see more in the future!