The Lore of Spartan

[Grape 679]

While many have written about some known, albeit in some instances niche, lore regarding the VHL and its affiliate leagues, I decided to take a deep dive into a now very well known and established member and their not so known history within this seemingly great league. While @Spartan nowadays does most of his workings out in the open, seemingly proud of his blatant sexism and lack of DEI knowledge and respect for members of alternative lifestyles, this openness has only really been displayed in the recent seasons due to extensive detective work by myself and @badcolethetitan . And while present Spartan is all too well known, let us take a look at the man he was behind the shadows.

Season 0 - Season 20: The Pre-Index Era

 

Little is known about what occurred in this time, as most documentation has been lost. From the bits and pieces we can put together, it can be evidenced that Spartan existed during this era and played a hand in the early machinations of the VHL. From the get go, he had plans of sabotage. Spartan pushed for the use of already licensed and trademarked logos for teams with a cheap reskin applied to them. Sure, we’re a small fledgling organization, so no issues would arise at the start, which is exactly how he got away from it. Spartan was also a glutton for pain and suffering, creating a goalie by the name of John Pereira (that last name will pop up again later), who was drafted 50th overall in the S1 draft and put up zero wins, an 0.832 sv% and a 6.26 GAA in 20 games played. He would go on a string of underwhelming players to fake his desire to keep the league alive, while continuously sabotaging it with multiple accounts putting together bust player after bust player while also pushing for irrelevant renovations for the website, depleting the miniscule funding the league had to keep running in hopes of everything shutting down due to financial struggles. If it was not for truly dedicated founders in that time, Spartan would have succeeded. Near the end of this period, Spartan’s activity dropped off a small bit, seemingly feeling thwarted in his early devious plans, with his last player coming in the Season 16 draft with pick 21, Alan Garner, another goalie with less than ideal stats (29 GP, 9W, 0.832 sv%, 6.09 GAA).

 

Season 20 - Season 60: The Dull Era

 

This era saw little of Spartan’s shenanigans. Spartan’s push for new website additions led to the introduction of the index, recording all stats for players. This was seen as a large step in the community by allowing the history of the league to be preserved. This dealt a massive blow to Spartan’s motivations to destroy the league, as there would always be remnants left to rebuild from, so he vanished during this period. Waiting for his time to strike, pondering his next move, and even considering the possibility of abandoning his dream altogether. But as he stewed in his frustrations and introspection, the gears in his head began to turn. While the league reached a state of relative peace, technology began to improve gradually. Improvements to internet technology allowed for more streamlined access and success of forum based content and for social media to truly take off. Spartan himself was very active on Twitter and Tumblr, often pushing furry and My Little Pony based fanfictions and artwork on his profile, even dabbling in the art of Sonic rule 34, although he was more infamous than famous in that instance since he couldn’t help but include personal fetishes, such as diapers. As the league moved towards its 60th season, Spartan moved away from his debauchery and back to the league. His time to strike, he felt, was growing near.

Season 60 - Season 71: The Infiltration Era

 

While Spartan was heavily involved in this period of time within the league, he never actually created a player nor used his current account. Instead, he chose to work in the shadows and use the wealth he accumulated during his time as a novice pornography artist to sow discourse into the league during this period of outstanding growth. Spartan funneled money into the league through various connections he made in his early times to fund ad campaigns to increase the player count. He also botted and boosted multiple Reddit posts promoting the league. In each of these promotions, whether it be on YouTube or Reddit, Spartan had a sleeper agent or an alt account slipped into them who would become active and somewhat polarizing figures in the league. Notable agents include BladeMaiden, Achilles, and @Gustav , who broke free from Spartan in an epic duel that occurred in Trenton, New Jersey, which many mistook for a couple of crackheads fighting over a sandwich. With these affluent figures, Spartan had a different goal for each. For Blade, it was to attract the weak willed men into unison and create aggressive discourse with other figures, promoting a rift amongst the community in hopes of tearing it down. Achilles was purely a support of chaos, dipping and diving into any arguments and assisting in whichever side was the aggressor or the most polarizing. Gustav, oh Spartan had big plans for Gustav. Spartan was taken aback by Gus’ literary ability, labeling it akin to the great orators and speechwriters of ancient Greece, dubbing him the “Pericles of the VHL”. Spartan’s plan for Gus was to prop him up as a top member in the league, rising the ranks swiftly in order to achieve a position of true power, only then to slowly but surely chip away at the foundation and letting everything come crashing down. Suffice to say, Spartan failed on his attacks, and from then on, he would take matters into his own hands.

 

Season 71 - Current: The Spartan Era

From Season 71 onwards, the movements Spartan has made can be seen clearly, so long as you are willing to dig and get your hands dirty. Spartan finally created his true main account and came out firing with his first player becoming a Hall of Famer, followed by his second, breaking the all-time TPE record. A man who has stood in the shadows for so long finally able to apply his knowledge directly, developing truly elite players. It took Spartan 2 months to get an official position in the VHL, becoming an updater in May of 2020, in peak covid. A heavy workload to be sure, but he was able to sift through update by update and handpick members who could be useful to him. He took on a M GM role in June of 2020 as well to play a bigger part in the manipulation of both the league and new members, with sparse recruitment mixed in every now and again to build a true cult of personality around him. However he thought, and I quote, “new members were far too stupid to do anything but click buttons. I need some actual smart members to manipulate.” From then on he shifted to a VHL GM role, while also holding onto an M commissioner role to keep his eyes on any new blood that trickles in that shows compatibility in his vision. It is here, in the S90s, where his final plan has come into fruition. The only way for him to gain enough influence to destroy the league is to establish a great legacy in which to rule the league. From here, he sought out established members that he penciled in as prime targets for manipulation through observing the M, that being myself and Cole. Certainly, two guys who know what they’re doing but also are easy enough going to mold into exactly what he wants. That did not work out, as the power of Gen Z brain rot has made us impervious to his mental assaults. While Moscow has assembled a juggernaut, it is with individuals, not his true custom-tailored design. Spartan has tried methods to humanize himself to the team, by creating an alt account  @asteria, or Celeste Pereira (guess you would forget after over 80 seasons huh). Unfortunately, slandering himself with a fake account did not work. Now, he has resorted to true debauchery. Another alt account, @Bea, this one claiming to be his girlfriend, even joining voice calls with himself, only to talk with one, turn on a voice changer, and then speak through the other. It truly is pathetic. His new player, a bonafide pervert, creep, and shut-in neet, in a last ditch effort to gain even a crumb of brownie points will fall flat as well. His plans to destroy the league are no more at this point. As a Spartan insider, he has truly given up. His cult has turned against him to the point where he has lost all inspiration to move forward, and will simply settle with being a half decent member with a couple of titles etched into his legacy. No more looking for downfall, simply maintaining mediocracy.

(1511 words)

[Spartan 4,405]

 

bro had a lot of free time after getting beat up and ejected today

[Moon 593]

1 hour ago, Grape said:

@Bea, this one claiming to be his girlfriend

Yeah we know that's cap.... this guy can't bag anything

[badcolethetitan 921]

[Grape 679]

11 hours ago, Spartan said:

 

bro had a lot of free time after getting beat up and ejected today

Your player canonically steals underwear from a 14 year old girl