S79 - Hit Or Miss

[rory 1,969]

It has come to my attention that as leader of degen hours I must complete a draft review in the style of Gorlab's famous bust or lick series. Fear not degen hours, I have studied the past editions of BoL and I am fully prepared to live up to my predecessor's legacy. As a zoomer I am legally obliged to name it something based off TikTok, so welcome to the new degen draft review, HIT OR MISS.

 

Everybody knows the rules: I rank people with no rules. This is an opinion piece from a Fong certified TOXIC MEMBER, so don't take offence if I label you a bust. First gens please use it as motivation to prove me wrong, recreates you know the rules so I don't have to tell you.

 

Without further ado, I present the first annual edition of HIT OR MISS.

 

つ ◕_◕ ༽つ HIT OR MISS - S79 VHL ENTRY DRAFT ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

1.  Papa Emeritus - Alright Bek, you know the rules. I have studied the art of the BoL and have very easily come to this conclusion. First overall is guaranteed to be a LICK, and as such, have labelled Papa Emeritus a certified MISS. I fully expect this player to alternate between a .850 and .975 every season. Hopefully when Devise sims you can win a couple of awards (because you really haven't won much since Thompson).

2.  Tyler Reinhart - The logo stealer himself, Zuckerberg, finds himself being drafted with his AGM and also his recruitment boss #2 and #3. Recruitment TPE should really be more scaled on success cause I haven't seen shit come in for the league in a while. As such for HoM rankings I have determined that this player has lost over half of their TPE and have ranked them as a 100 TPE clicker which makes Tyler Reinhart one of the hardest MISS's in my 2 picks as leader of HoM. Maybe they can be more active in the future and earn enough TPE to make the bigs. Best of luck, Zuck! Miss also makes sense because MIS is the first job you got fired from, haha.

3.  Jerome Reinhart - Yeah same criticism as his boss/employee combo. SHL has overtaken us and that's kinda embarrassing because Josh is so nice to the clickers. Maybe before Cow gets into depot he can get a business degree (because nobody gets into depot without one nowadays) so our recruitment can recover from the missing beaver. Anyways this player is identical in everyway to Zuckerberg so I am obligated to give this player a MISS. Sorry Cow, maybe your next player will be more original.

 

4.  Poopy Peepants - Out of the fire, and into more fire! Jardy has been active for like 2 weeks and somehow people have been deceived into thinking he is gonna stick around. I'm guessing he signs a 5 year extension with a NTC after his rookie contract and promptly go on a 25 season bender. That's just the Davos way I guess. Also you have 80 passsing, woof. Easy MISS. Prove me wrong and listen to the next episode of 3ppao to find out more reasoning.

5.  AJ Williams - My first, and only non-meme pick as Josh's temporary replacement, AJ Williams joins the greatest VHL franchise ever. AJ ticks all the fuckin boxes to be the first ever HoM hit. Massive degen hours participant, max earning, what more can you ask for. However this poor sucker has been deceived into staying in the VHLM for an extra season. The poor sap has had his mind polluted by the irrelevant VHLM GMs which makes him a pure MISS. This will obviously come back and bite me in the ass as AJ will become the new Dlamb, but staying down in the VHLM is more then a big enough crime to be labelled a bust.

6.  Erlantz Jokinen - Don't have much to say about this. For a finnish person you'd think he'd be more active in degen hours but I'm not even sure he has a discord account. In his media spot he also used the LA stars logo calling him, as if he was even on our draft board at all. I love the gall from a recreate trying to make a name for themselves. As long as he doesn't fall into a CULT TRAP, I fully believe this young man will be a HIT. A pretty low risk pick at 6th, good work hog.

7.  Sigard Petrenko - A low impact recreate, I cannot remember the name of this users first member. I think he was a goaler? I don't care. I also thought this user a clicker+, but apparently he has been max earning. Good work dragon. Another user that I'm not really sure if they have a discord account or not. Maybe Bana can send them an invite to VHL general, but until then, he receives a MISS.

8.  Jonathan Ori - Ah yes, a legendary recreate who beat out Beketov for most TPE in their class. Hextall had a shit career thanks to being on a cursed ass Toronto team. Another guy who I was shocked to learn max earns because I have barely heard about them at all. Unfortunately for Ori, the new Helsinki really hasn't been the same since the inactive rules came into the VHLM, so as an active user I don't believe his career will take off with the Titans. MISS. Moving on.

9.  Baby Bob - d_a bro get this man the $ for a first gen reroll. Borderline inactive because their a first gen not in gen chat, goodbye, MISS, prove me wrong and what not.

10.  Taylor Mourning - Ah yes, gorlab would've loved this selection at 10th overall. Falling in the draft TPE wise, I am also not sure if scoop uses discord, however because they are an old member that isn't Jardy, my contract states that I must label them HIT. Malmo has found themselves their first HIT in a long time but I haven't really payed attention to what gorlab labeled people so congrats hylands, hopefully the nightcocks can keep connecting and have an amazing underdog season.

11.  Em Em Flex - Affiliate guy I'm pretty sure, so I don't really care at all. EFL or SBA? don't care. MISS. Will probably have a decent career but a non maxing earning goaler in the first round is a bad choice, maybe bana has something up his sleeve. I expect the user to say some boomer shit in the comments.

12.  Omi Aberg - Recreate from S73 which only tells me that his earning was shaky and couldn't hang with the BIG DOGS in the draft class. Think this is gonna be a shit career until he gets to Warsaw or some other non-Vancouver team. Beaviss' curse continues as they go 0/3 in this draft. Maybe the S82 rebuild will be better, MISS. Best of luck on the career sens :MGSSalute:

13.  Orion D H Chiester IX - LMFAO what warsaw desperate for a goaler and they throw the easiest MISS on the board this season. Affiliate PTs and practice facility, a half step above being a clicker. He also claimed a first generation player store purchase when he's a recreate. I blame bigAL for this.

14.  Sunrise van de Schubbekuteveen - I kinda know Thunfish from being on the same SHL team as him and know that he's a good locker room guy that has potentional to turn his earning up to max with a good GM supplying the sauce. Good build on a first gen means he's a STHS vet. I think Jeff snagged himself a late gem here with his first meaningful draft pick in 6 seasons. Sunrise probably better then half the people on this list, and get's a HIT for this reason. Good luck on your career Thunfish

15.  Lilith Lunar - Really shows bad the draft was, but the user max earns in PBE so maybe Hylands can turn it around for this defender. Gorlab would have some more shit things to say, so I'll just drop a MISS and leave.

16.  Miroslav Tsarov - Another person who I'm pretty sure was a goaler on their last player but I don't think they were ever important. Played for me in Halifax and I really have nothing to say either way. Earns welfare+ quietly, maybe now their off a goaler they can become a bonafided role player in Malmo, but I don't see the star potentional, so he's a MISS. Good luck PadStack.

 

[Moon 602]

Rory stands out as the best member of the Victory Hockey League (VHL) due to unwavering dedication to the community. Always active in discussions, Rory fosters a welcoming and engaging environment for new and veteran members alike. Whether organizing events, contributing insightful league analysis, or simply keeping the community lively, Rory plays a vital role in strengthening the league’s culture. The passion and commitment to making the VHL an enjoyable space for everyone set Rory apart. Through positivity, leadership, and continuous contributions, Rory has become an invaluable part of the league, making a lasting impact on the entire community.

[Moon 602]

WE BRING THE BOOOOOOOM!

[Moon 602]

[BOOM 8,915]

[Garsh 1,199]

Looking forward to you catching up with all the missed seasons

[BOOM 8,915]

You missed the part where if anyone disagrees with their assessment, you'll meet them in the Fuddruckers parking lot.