Claimed:Campbell briefly talks S44 Draft [FINAL 5/6]

[Banackock 8,068]

Blake Campbell posing for his "sexy" draft pose.

 

Once a name that very few knew, he has now established himself a little better within the VHLM and the VHL community and is being looked at by numerous teams come the S44 VHL entry draft. Where he'll go he's not to sure but there is one thing he knows and that's that he's ready for whatever is to come. He's stood with pride, composure and dedication which is all backed up by the tremendous amount of work he's done and luckily for the GM's who are picking early, he's here to have a brief sit down with us so that the GM's are able to get to know one of the leagues best up and coming goalies. Ladies, gentlemen, general managers, scout and players with interest throughout the VHL, Minot Gladiators goalie, Blake Campbell.

 

Before we ask you any questions Blake, we want to get the viewers a basic breakdown of your player and the skill and effort that you truly bring to the table. Blake Campbell was born in Denver, Colorado and is brother to Dalla Stars young goalie Jack Campbell. He wears the number 33 on his back because it's the reason his favorite all-time goalie Patrick Roy had worn. He stands at 75 inches, 198 pounds and has the agility and speed of a Cheetah. His dedication to the game, although he has been here a short time, has been absolutely outstandings as he has yet to miss a Point Task. He credits growing up as a hockey fan and lover to his recent success. Now, for the question period.

 

 

ED44 --> Entry Draft 44

BC - Blake Campbell

 

ED44 says - Thank you Blake for joining us for this brief interview regarding the up and coming draft. Let's get straight down to business and not waste time as time is precious. What made you come to the VHL?

 

BC says - To be honest, a new alternative - a completely different environment. I've been a member of the SHL since S4 and we've currently are heading into S22. I love the league but wanted something new so that I could still have the love and enjoyment I do for the leagues. So I decided to give the VHL a try.

 

ED44 says - And what are your thoughts on the VHL so far?

 

BC says - It's a different experience that's for sure. I don't overly want to say which I prefer because it's obvious. I've put much more time into the SHL but I really do enjoy the VHL also. There's some great guys here who have offered a helping hand along the way and have stated they're excited to see where I take my player. It's been great and I'm just thankful they were so welcoming to me during my early stage.

 

ED44 says - Awesome. During your early stages eh? Where are you at now?

 

BC says - Obviously It's still fairly early but I've already progressed so much. As you stated above, I've yet to miss an opportunity to better myself and I truly hope to keep it that way for as long as possible. I'm really focusing on just becoming the best I can be because that's a huge goal and motivator for myself. I want to be the best. I will be the best. There is no try because trying means having the intent to potentially fail.

 

ED44 says - What are some things you'd like to say to the GM's?

 

BC says - I don't want to come off as cocky. I want to come off as confident and reassuring as I want whoever drafts me to feel full confidence in their choice. I came into this league and told everyone I was here to do damage and make myself into a great player and although we're quite a ways away from being great, I've come a long way in a short period of time. You have to remember I joined quite a bit later than most of my fellow prospects but I'm already pushing up against them and I hope they're feeling the pressure.

 

ED44 says - Are there any specific teams you'd like to go to?

 

BC says - One time has contacted me so far and out of respect for myself and that organization, I will not release who it was. They can do so if they wish to but I will keep it quiet to protect their choice. However, that team is the one I am most interested in right now because they want me potentially and if they have the confidence and desire to have me, they must believe in me. Anyone who puts belief in me is only going to see amazing results. Keep in mind though that I will play for anybody but this team is very exciting to me. I want to be a starter. I'm fine with earning it, but I want to break through, steal his job and make a name for myself in the big leagues. Juniors mean nothing for me. It's time for development and that's it. I'm focused on the VHL.

 

ED44 says - Perfect. Last question.  Any thoughts on a mask idea for when you're up in the big leagues?

 

BC says - I am a big fan of wolves, specifically black ones. I want a mask that resembles that. They're powerful, amazing, strong creatures that in my opinion and truly respected. They're also predators and you don't fuck with them, excuse my french. So when I get up to the big leagues, expect the big bad wolf to break out and blow some houses down.

 

 

WOLF OUT!

 

 

 

935 words - 3 pics -- article for Jan 19th - 25th JUST ON TIME

 

[BOOM 8,768]

 

has the agility and speed of a Cheetah.

 

I laughed.

[pxzero 65]

Content: 3/3
Another solid interview

 

Grammar: 1.25/2 

 

I marked this section a little harshly, because I have warned you before that you have had a lot of proofreading errors.  Many times, you had words that didn't make sense or leftover words from rewrites.  I know it's a long one, and about halfway through it gets a little better, but I'm going to stress it's quality over quantity.  You only need 450 words, and you've got almost double that,  but there are just too many errors again to give you a pass. 

•  he'll go he's not too sure - homophone, wrong to
• he's done and, luckily for the GM's who are picking early, - missing comma (without it, it's a run on sentence)
• general managers, scouts and players - agreement error. gotta keep it all plural
• want to give the viewers a basic - wrong word (get the viewers a breakdown doesn't make sense, since you're supplying the breakdown, not taking one)
• born in Denver, Colorado, and - When both a city's name and that city's state or country's name are mentioned together, the state or country's name is treated as a parenthetical element.
•  it's the reason his favorite all-time goalie, Patrick Roy, had worn - wrong word. It's the NUMBER he wore, not the reason. Also, commas. 
• cheetah - not a proper name, no reason to capitalize
• been absolutely outstandings as - s does not belong. weird typo
• Obviously It's still fairly early - no need for capital, obvious proofing error
• stated above - word choice.  This is an interview, so they would have stated before, not above. (there is no written interview, and I'm giving you a lot of grammatical leeway in later paragraphs because this is 'dialogue')
•  One time has contacted - wrong word. one TEAM has contacted 
• They're powerful, amazing, strong creatures that in my opinion and truly - that in your opinion what? possibly "are truly" but it's either missing a point or a word choice error. 

Appearance:  1/1

Looks good, but you lost the green/blue colour scheme halfway through, only to bring it back. 

 

Overall: 5.25/6

Edited January 27, 2015 by pxzero

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Content: 3/3 - More than enough content here.

 

Grammar: 1/2 - I have to mark this sort of harsh as well. There's a lot of mistakes in here and they could have easily been taken care of through a proof-read.

 

"he's not to sure" - too sure

"he's done and luckily for the GM's who are picking early," - he's done, and. Sentence runs on without it like previously stated.

"Ladies, gentlemen, general managers, scout and players" - should be scouts.

"we want to get the viewers a basic breakdown" - give the players, not get

"born in Denver, Colorado and" - should be another comma after Colorado

"brother to Dalla Stars" - Dallas is missing an "s".

"because it's the reason his favorite" - number, not reason.

"speed of a Cheetah" - like previously said, cheetah doesn't have to be capitalized.

"absolutely outstandings" - take the s off the end of outstanding.

"Obviously It's" - no need to capitalize "it's", like previously said.

"One time has contacted" - One team has contacted, not time.

"They're powerful, amazing, strong creatures that in my opinion and truly respected." - odd sentence here. Are truly respected, maybe? Or, strong creatures AND in my opinion are truly respected?

 

Appearance: 1/1 - Looks good. Like said by pxzero, the green font went away for a bit and came back. Understandable mistake though, and easy to not notice if you're looking at a monitor for too long.

 

 

Overall: 5/6

 

 

Averaged Score: 10.25/12 divided by 2 = 5.125 rounded down to 5. 

[Frank 5,212]

Claimed