Encarnacion Ranks Minor Penalties (#26->#21)

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According to Wikipedia, there are 26 varieties of minor penalty in the sport of hockey. As a PIM expert, I will be ranking all 26 PIMs, giving you a good guide as to how you should attempt to hockey once you get on the ice.

 

#26 – Interference

If there is one thing that cannot be tolerated either on or off the ice, it’s cock-blocking. You’ve got a team-mate who’s found an attractive girl on the side, he’s about to get his, you have NO REASON TO GET INVOLVED! In some ways, it is great that this is a PIM as it’s an effective way of removing any cock-blockers from the situation, but the fact it rewards players with PIMs is a disgrace to the art of PIMing.

 

#25 – Delay of the Game

Look, we’re all trying to get PIMs here, if you’re going to hold us back just so you get yours, you deserve to be beaten up. Again, why this is rewarded with PIMs is beyond me, remove him from the situation by all means, but this only encourages the tarnishing of the game.

 

#24 – Diving

Diving is the sole reason for the reduction of PIMs since the early seasons. Guys figured out that they could rack up PIMs by pretending they’d been hit as opposed to actually going out and hitting someone. So a confrontation that was solved with fists and rewarded with 5 minute PIMs would now instead have a dive-off for 2 minute PIMs. Stop ruining the game, PIM like a man.

 

#23 – Holding the Stick

I figure the refs must have stopped calling this one once everyone started bringing one onto the ice at the start of the game.

 

#22 – Illegal Stick

I’ve been in the league for seven seasons now and I’ve yet to be rewarded for smuggling cocaine in my stick.  Like, why am I putting in the effort if the refs aren’t going to call it?

 

#21 – Illegal Equipment

Like, I would at least hope that my cocaine filled stick would meet this criteria considering it’s a baseball bat, but nope. 

[Edgar 283]

"how you should attempt to hockey"

Seems legit