Oooooooooooh that smell

[.sniffuM 1,741]

With me being back, there's obviously grounds for radical change in the VHL. After all, my return already represents a dramatic shift in the league, the likes of which hasn't been seen since my last return to the VHL. But the biggest problem with massive change is finding the right ideas to execute. Have no fear, I've got your backs.

 

1: Expansion

 

Have you ever felt bored with the fact that there are only 10 teams in the VHL? Like seriously, 6 teams in the playoffs? Come the hell on. After all, we have a massive member base the likes of which I don't even know (seriously, I have no clue how many active members there are), so I think it's time to take the next step towards competing popularity-wise with the NHL: mass expansion. I'm talking one team in every US state for the United States conference, and maybe even two teams in every Canadian whatever-they-have (provinces? counties? regions?) for the Canadian conference. Then of course four teams for every 50-mile area in the European conference, 9 teams for every communist in China in the Asian conference and 3 teams for every spider in Australia in the Sydney, Australia conference.

 

It's time we demanded to be taken seriously as an entity. The first step towards the level of credibility we need is expansion.

 

2: Private jets for each VHL player

 

This one is self-explanatory and the benefits are obvious. Next.

 

3: Partnership with VitaminWater

 

It's an indisputable fact that everything associated with 50 Cent is a successful enterprise that must be treated as a legitimate threat in the business world. That's why I believe that we need to push for partnership with Mr. Cent and the most obvious opportunity for that is VitaminWater. Players want water after a tough, grinding shift on the ice? Fuck that, put vitamins in it. Some players prefer the electrolytes of Gatorade? Electrolytes are for pussies; VitaminWater's got vitamins. Also, 50 should sing the respective national anthem before every game. This part is non-negotiable.

 

-----------------------------

 

It's clear that the VHL has hit a horrible patch of stagnation that has fueled it falling behind even the fucking Arena Football League in level of credibility. My proposed ideas would be a massive step in the right direction to getting this league to where it needs to be. God speed.

[Kendrick 4,741]

I came in for the Skynyrd reference, left satisfied.

[boubabi 4,725]

 

 

[Will 4,662]

3 hours ago, .sniffuM said:

9 teams for every communist in China

 

that shits gotta be astronomical by now