Claimed:KENDRICK E. TSBAGSUPH-DIKS ATTACKS THEO AXELSSON [Reviewed]

[Tsbagsuph 62]

KENDRICK E. TSBAGSUPH-DIKS ATTACKS THEO AXELSSON

 

The most recent Bern Royal vs Saskatoon Wild game made headlines after a fierce 3^rd period in which Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks and Theo Axelsson became involved in an aggressive scrum, eventually ending in a four-game suspension for Kendrick and two games for Theo.  It started at 8:57 of the 3^rd when Kendrick slow-footed Axelsson, earning a two-minute penalty.  Axelsson was clearly displease because as soon as Tsbagsuph-Diks left the penalty box, Axelsson promptly punched Tsbagsuph-Diks in the back of the head.  Theo received a five minute penalty over which Saskatoon scored a short-handed goal. During the rest of the penalty, the two were very physical, and when the game ended with a 4-2 for Saskatoon, Kendrick proceeded to baseball swing his stick at Axelsson’s helmet.  Axelsson started convulsing, Tsbagsuph-Diks started skating away smiling.  He eventually slipped, biting his tongue as he fell and losing 2 teeth.

 

 

 

A violent fight between Theo Axelsson and Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks

 

 

Aexlsson was unavailable for questioning, but Kendrick participated in a press conference immediately following the game.  Media expected a prompt apology for Tsbagsuph-Diks’ actions on the ice.  Instead, Kendrick insinuated that Axelsson had it coming.

 

 

 

Quote

“That FUCKER wouldn’t respond to my texts.  Two weeks ago, I told him about my birthday.  He wasn’t invited, but I still wanted to talk about myself with him, but the dickhead wouldn’t even acknowledge me.  THEN, thinking maybe he didn’t get my last message because his phone wasn’t working, I sent him a Facebook message telling him about my family coming to town.  Sure, this didn’t involve him either, but everyone should love hearing about my stories.  HE READ IT!  I can see that he saw my post and he didn’t respond.  That dick-ball juggler was asking for me to slash him in the neck.  He’s lucky I swung high.  Honestly, I’m surprised I didn’t do anything more serious.”

 

 

 

When one reporter asked “WTF?”, Kendrick started soeaking but his coach cut him off out of fear that he would say more incriminating things.  The commissioner of the league has confirmed that the Bern Police Department has started a formal investigation into whether Kendrick will face criminal charges.  The department is expected to make an official statement before Kendrick’s four game suspension concludes.

 

 

 

Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks at the press conference

 

Ted Doughty was visibly upset about the suspension.  With tears in his eyes, Ted murmured, “He’s a good guy.  No matter what he did, he is my soul-partner and he deserves better than this.”  Kendrick denied all “soul-partner” claims and expressed that he would enjoy some time away from Doughty.  Nonetheless, Doughty insisted that he will be checking up on Kendrick daily.

 

 

 

If one lesson can be taken away from this incident, it’s that if Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks posts about his life, you should promptly review it and say that you reviewed it instead of waiting two and a half weeks.  That is the lesson.

 

Edited April 24, 2016 by Tsbagsuph

[gregreg 930]

this guy is just the worst 

[solas 1,947]

You should've just invited me to your birthday party and this never would've happened in the first place!

[FacePuncher 1,343]

You're lucky that the season is over, or else Stabby would be coming at you!

[evrydayimbyfuglien 600]

Review:

Perfect. Very well written and easy to read without being boring. Keep it up, man! Very creative. 

[Tim 182]

Claimed