Claimed:Sterling Mallory Archer [Reviewed]

[Tixe 20]

Sterling Mallory Archer

 

 

A native of Tangier, Morocco, Sterling Mallory Archer, spent many years as a secret agent for ISIS (The International Secret Intelligence Service) where his peak physical fitness allowed him to excel into one of the best agents in the world. 

 

At 184 pounds and 6'2, Archer has found that he may be a bit too much on the lean side for the game of hockey and may have to bulk up a bit before he takes to the ice against men much larger than himself. 

 

It is quite common for younger players to think they can zip around the rink, using their speed and elusiveness to roll away from checks, time and again that has come back to haunt all but the biggest and the strongest of the new rookies, Archer was no exception to this, being absolutely rocked several times before finally learning to keep his head up and continue moving, using his puck handling and skating to keep the puck away from defending players and keep himself from getting stapled to the boards. 

His mother, Mallory, has shown extreme distaste for the game of hockey, of course which drives Archer to perform even harder every night and is what drove him to try out the game after visiting Canada and his mother commenting on the brutality of such an aggressive redneck sport before returning to her phone call from Nikolai Jakov.

 

Archer had decided then and there that he would be a star hockey player, if only to piss off his mother. It was similar in structure to lacrosse, a game at which he excelled, so the transition was a bit easier and the great hand eye coordination gained allowed him to develop strong puck handling skills, which unfortunately seem to be countered by intoxication most of the time. 

 

Originally wanting to play goaltender, Archer was forced out his net, not by a better goaltender being found but upon the coaches discovery he was filling his water bottle with high alcohol content moonshine. This became a prevalent problem in the third period where Archer would be found to be quite trashed and almost completely useless, getting scored on six times in a four minute span before being pulled and replaced with Barry Dylan, whom he despised enough to begin a fight with his own teammate, resulting in an ejection and game misconduct. 

 

Archer now will be playing on the wing, where he can fire shots on net and fight other players without fear of league repercussions. Hoping to increase his play, he has worked nonstop on his defensive awareness, practicing retrieving the puck out of the corners and being in better position,  he received yet another suspension for tazing an opponent in the corner while retrieving a loose puck. 

 

So far, Archer has had great difficulty transitioning from a secret agent to a professional hockey player, but in time, he should turn out to be a star. With his fellow teammates sparked and driven to succeed in the cold northern Yukon territory of Canada, it shouldn't be too long. 

 

 

Pros and Cons

 

 

To examine him as a player though, you can see that while he does have flaws in that his chronic alcoholism has stood in the way of his progress and success, especially in regards to his reflexes and coordination, it has not been entirely detrimental to his play, especially as a winger who carries the puck. Due to the alcohol numbing his body, he takes numerous thunderous body checks nightly, but keeps getting up, relying on a half bottle of painkillers and a morphine drip to go to sleep each night. 

 

A player as loyal to his team as Archer is, only comes along every so often. Willing to put his body through hell in efforts to block a shot, being willing to fight guys twice his size when they take liberties against his teammates and going into the corner with huge power forwards bearing down on him, he seems to have a desire for injury and that may be seen as a bit of con to some and a pro to others

. 

While working on his defense, none of his other skills were practiced and he became quite useless in most other areas. Unable to focus on one thing too long as a hockey player, transferring over from secret agent where he had one goal in mind, he has so far been unable to coordinate an offensive system with his defensive play, choosing to pass the puck even on empty nets. 

Whether this is a selfless act or simply because his shot is so poor he'd likely miss anyway, is left to debate. Speaking of his shot, it is among the worst the league has ever seen, scoring only once on over six hundred shots over his three season career in the minors on a deflection off the goalies ass. 

 

Another con may be his fear of alligators, crocodiles, and brain aneurysms. Which has made playing in  Florida an issue as he tends not to sleep a wink, instead sitting on the top of the hotel with a loaded handgun awaiting a surprise attack by a reptilian death machine. A reason he would never return to the goaltending position is because of the poor play of his teammates, who nearly did give him an aneurysm, causing him to lose focus and drink more, which directly led to him losing that job.

For now, he will start practicing being a sniper. 
 

[Will 4,660]

Very nice rookie profile

[Phil 5,119]

[CowboyinAmerica 2,891]

Claimed

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Feedback:

I see this never got an "official" review.

Awesome RP, dude. Looks nice and I love the pic!