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King & Mulligan S01E01 "Interesting Things" [Reviewed]


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INT-BANK-DAY

 

A man is pacing around the bank while holding an AR-15, he is on the cellphone talking to the police as his hostages are all huddled in the corner near the back of the bank.

 

 

Robber

 

If you guys come in here I will kill everyone

 

 

The robber waits for a response, after taking in what he hears he gets mad

 

 

Robber

 

What? Have you fucking lost it? Are you seriously calling my bluff?  Are you that stupid?

 

 

EXT-STREET-DAY

 

 

Image result for blacked out F150 FX4

 

MAX KING a white male in his early 30’s is sitting in a blacked out Ford F150 FX4 with his feet on the dashboard as he is eating a slice of pizza.

 

 

King

 

Yep, I think you are too much of a pussy to pull the trigger… Actually I know you are

 

 

Robber

 

I just robbed a bank asshole don’t question what I can and cannot do

 

 

Max nods as he does not care about what he is hearing, he tosses the crust of pizza slice down at the ground

 

 

King

 

Fuck that’s good pizza

 

 

The robber looks out the front doors of the bank at Max sitting in the truck that is parked right on the curb of the bank. Blocking any clear shots snipers would have.

 

 

Robber

 

Are you seriously eating the pizza that I asked for the hostages?

 

 

King

 

Yep, and it’s fucking good pizza. It’s from Gino’s, he makes a good pizza. Do you know Gino’s on 51st and 3rd?

 

 

Robber think for a second kind of surprised by the question

 

 

Robber

 

Yeah, who doesn’t know Gino’s?

 

 

Max hops out of his truck as he grabs the pizza box off the hood of the truck. He then walks towards the bank with swagger in his step

 

 

King

 

An idiot good sir an idiot that’s who

 

Robber looks at Max walking towards the front door

 

 

Robber

 

You aint coming in here

 

 

Robber tries to lock the door but Max kicks the door open knocking open and knocking Robber to the ground. Max looks down at Robber and shakes his head as he helps him up. As we see this we cut to the opening titles

 

Image result for Buddy Cop

King & Mulligan

 

 

 INT-BANK-DAY

Image result for Old timey bank

King

 

First rule of a bank robbery, stay on your feet. Technically and figuratively. Something you clearly cannot grasp.

 

 

Max locks the bank doors before leading Robber into a back office of the bank

 

 

King

 

Where is the money?

 

 

Robber looks around

 

 

Robber

 

Uh… inside the vault?

 

 

King

 

No you moron, not the money in the vault I am talking about the money you got when you first came in here

 

 

Robber

 

In my bag

 

 

King

 

Which is where?

 

 

Robber

 

I left it in the hall

 

 

King

 

Second rule... my dimwitted wonnabe bank robber is that you keep the thing you are taking with you at all times

 

 

Robber runs and gets the bag of money and brings it back inside the office

 

 

King

 

Good recover bud, good form and quick wits bro that’s what it takes to be a successful bank robber. But! Sadly and I really do mean sadly because I really wanted you to succeed. Something about you makes you very likeable, but you really are not that smart

 

 

Robber

 

WHAT THE FUCK MAN! I had enough of this shit. You shut your mouth right the fuck now

 

 

Robber shoves the barrel of the rifle in the face of King

 

 

Robber

 

I’ll fucking shoot you if you don’t shut up

 

 

King smiles as he calmly grabs for another slice of pizza

 

 

King

 

Put the gun down, you aren’t going to shoot anyone. If anyone gets shot it will be you. Either you will shoot your own self or if you shoot off a round they will rush in here and bum rush you faster than Big Will in jail. So I ask again put the gun down and sit the fuck down.

 

 

Robber thinks for a second before lowering the rifle and falling helplessly into a chair

 

 

Robber

 

You’re right, I am worthless

 

 

King

 

Word I never said, I called you dimwitted. There is a difference.

 

 

Robber

 

I should have thought this through

 

 

King

 

You should have and you didn’t

 

 

Robber

 

You come in here and you point out shit I am doing wrong. Things I should know but I don’t maybe I should hang up the robber ski mask

 

 

King

 

The thing is that you have no leverage bud, none at all. You are surrounded at least twenty police officers and that’s not mentioning SWAT and the snipers. Oh and the biggest thing, which actually technically is two rules wrapped into one. Rule number three is get out of the bank before you have a standoff of the police. Nine out of ten bank robberies fail if there is a police standoff… which is a surprising stat it really should be ten out of ten. But moving on… the forth rule is make sure if you have hostages, always and I mean always keep an eye on them.

 

 

Robber looks at where the hostages were to see them all gone.

 

 

King

 

Because as of right now you have none

 

 

Robber tries to point out that King is technically a hostage but King stops him

 

 

King

 

I am not a hostage because I am too good to be one

 

 

Robber looks down in defeat as he turns around to look at Max who now hold two stacks of money in his hands as smells them as he holds up a pair of handcuffs

 

 

King

 

Put these on

 

 

A defeated robber grabs the cuffs as King puts the stack of money in the inside pocket of his jacket and lights the other on fire before dropping it into the trash.

 

 

INT-PRECINCT 44-DAY

 

King walks into the precinct getting high fives and cheers for what he did at the bank. King goes to sit at his desk as STEVE MULLIGAN @TheLastOlympian07 a 30’s white nerdish looking man walks up to him.

 

 

Mulligan

 

That was some shit you pulled at the bank

 

 

King

 

Pulled? I saved lives and the money. The bank has all its money isn’t that all that matters?

 

 

Mulligan

 

In my eyes yes, but Commish won’t be happy

 

 

King

 

Fuck him

 

 

Mulligan shakes his head

 

 

Mulligan

 

Sometimes I wish…

 

 

King

 

Wish what?

 

 

Mulligan

 

Nothing

 

 

King

 

No, say it. Be a man and say it

 

 

King stands up as he slaps down his hand on the table make a loud noise so everyone hears it and looks at him

 

 

King

 

Mulli here wants to say something but is too much of a pussy to fucking say it. So I want everyone to chant “pussy” till he says it

 

 

Everyone in the precinct even the criminals start to chant “Pussy” Mulligan sighs and whispers to King

 

 

Mulligan

 

I wish you were a bit more normal

 

 

King cups his hand to his ear

 

 

King

 

What was that?

 

 

The chants get louder to the point where CAPTAIN VIC VICKERSON @Victor a 40’s something beaten down man comes out of his office as he sips his coffee. Mulligan looks at him hoping he will stop King but Vic shrugs and motions him to say what he wants to

 

 

Mulligan

 

I wish you were a bit more normal

 

 

King celebrates that Mulligan actually said it

 

 

King

 

HE SAID IT! DRINKS ON ME!

 

 

King pats Mulligan on the shoulder as he looks at Vic who motions the two into his office. King and Mulligan head into the office

 

 

INT-VIC’S OFFICE-DAY

 

Vic

 

Close the door

 

 

Mulligan closes the door and goes to sit down but sees that the only chair left is broken so he is forced to stand

 

 

Vic

 

I’m not sure if I want to know this, but I have been told that I should ask before Mitchell gets here. What happened today?

 

 

Mulligan

 

We got there at precisely one thirty two PM the perp was inside…

 

 

King interrupts Mulligan

 

 

King

 

That doesn’t sound very precise how many seconds was it? What angle did I park? Where did I park? What was I driving? How fast? How good was the rack on the girl at the coffee shop at the corner?

 

 

Mulligan sighs

 

 

Mulligan

 

We left Gino’s Pizza at fifty first and third heading east towards the scene doing about fifty five down third in King’s blacked out Ford F150 FX4. This is when I requested King to slow down to traffic speed. He instead sped up to seventy as asked me “how’s that”. Next King proceeded to take a right on Sixth Avenue and proceeded to drive in the bus lane. A fact I pointed out so King decided to turn so we were on the wrong side of the road heading into oncoming traffic. A fact that did not phase my partner. After a near miss with a school bus at sixth and forty seventh King pointed out the so called rack on the girl wearing a short skirt, with a white blouse and knee high boots on the corner of sixth and forty fifth. King now proceeded to hop the curb with his truck because that is what they are built for and park on an angle that will and I quote “fuck with the snipers”

 

 

Vic thinks for a second before turning to King

 

 

Vic

 

Sounds like a typical day

 

 

King

 

I’d say

 

 

Vic

 

Well, if it was up to me I would say case closed but Commissioner Mitchell is heading here to talk to you two. Apparently some money is missing and he wants to know if you have any idea where the robber may have put it

 

 

King

 

I know exactly where it is

 

 

Just then a loud voice that rattles the glass in the office can be heard yelling King’s name. Soon after COMMISSIONER MITCHELL @Higgins a 40’s black man can be seen in the doorway to the office. King quickly reaches and locks the door so he cannot enter the office.

 

 

King

 

Sorry no one’s here

 

 

Mitchell does not look pleased

 

 

Mitchell

 

OPEN THE DOOR

 

 

King

 

What door

 

 

Mitchell

 

The door that I am standing in front of

 

 

King

 

Oh that one?

 

 

Mitchell

 

Yes

 

 

King

 

I can’t

 

 

Mitchell begins to yell

 

 

Mitchell

 

OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD ON A SILVER PLATTER BY SUNDOWN

 

 

Image result for last action hero glass shatter gif

The glass shatters, Mitchell reaches around the shattered glass and unlocks the door before opening it and entering the office. Mitchell then walks behind Vic as his eyes do not leave King.

 

 

Image result for last action hero lieutenant yelling

Mitchell

 

So tell me what happened to the money

 

 

King

 

What money?

 

 

Mitchell

 

Don’t play coy with me

 

 

King

 

Play coy? I’m not a fish

 

 

Mitchell

 

JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MONEY

 

 

King

 

Again I ask you to be more specific. What money are we talking about? The money in my wallet? The money in my jacket? The pennies in Mulli’s piss poor pocket?

 

 

Mitchell

 

THE MONEY THAT IS MISSING FROM THE FUCKING BANK

 

 

The windows to the outside of the precinct rattle as Mitchell hits that glass shattering note briefly

 

 

King

 

Oh that money? Well that’s easy. Dude was hopped up on some drugs. I entered and he was yelling some shit about Allah and how he was so great. Then he did a little dance which ended in a weird yet well-choreographed booty shake before he lit to wads of cash on fire before tossing it over his…

 

 

King pauses

 

 

King

 

Left… no… Right shoulder into the trash bin… or is it a can?... never mind. It was over his righ… no actually left shoulder in a perfect arch. It was flawless I tell you. Almost Steph Curry like. Dude may have had a career in basketball if he didn’t choose the life of crime. But anyways that’s what happened, he tossed it over his right shoulder on fire and it was a sight to be seen.

 

 

Mitchell just about heard enough at this point

 

 

Mitchell

 

  NOW YOU LISTEN HERE YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A POLICE OFFICER

 

 

King

 

Detective

 

 

Mitchell

 

SHUT UP!

 

 

All the glass in the precinct shatters

 

 

Mitchell

 

YOU BETTER SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT BECAUSE I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THIS FOR MUCH LONGER. I WILL NOT HAVE TOMFOOLERY LIKE THIS IN MY CITY

 

 

Mitchell goes to leave

 

 

King

 

Sir are you sure it’s tomfoolery? I was just thinking about that today and I thought to myself at most its Shenanigans maybe even Hooliganery but Tomfoolery is a bit of a stretch

 

 

 Mitchell

I’ll use any word I please

 

 

Mitchell looks around at the damage to the glass

 

 

Mitchell

 

You know you guys are the only precinct that has a glass department

 

 

King

 

I know, it’s pretty cool isn't it?

 

 

Mitchell

 

It’s not

 

 

Mitchell leaves as Vic pulls a file out from his desk and hands it to Mulligan

 

 

Vic

 

I was going to give this to you two before he came

 

 

Mulligan

 

What is it?

 

 

Vic

 

A rash of low key drug deals that we feel maybe points at the Mongolians being back in town or maybe even the Yakuza

 

 

Mulligan

 

We’re on it sir

 

 

King stands up and grabs the file from Mulligan and rips it up

 

 

King

 

Damn right we are and I know just exactly where to start

 

 

INT-FONGS PLACE-DAY

 

 

Image result for asian restaurants

 

Mulligan and King are sitting in the most Asian restaurant you have ever seen in your life. King seems to be enjoying his bowl of noodles as Mulligan sips on a soup. Mulligan’s head seems to be on swivel as he wonders why they are there

 

 

Mulligan

 

Why did we come here?

 

 

King

 

You mean you don’t know?

 

 

Mulligan

 

Know what?

 

 

King

 

The Yakuza are an Asian gang

 

 

Mulligan

 

Yeah… so

 

 

King

 

We are in a Asian restaurant

 

 

Mulligan

 

Okay… I’m not following you on this one

 

 

King

 

Yakuza is Asian, this place is Asian, and the Yakuza are back in town… do the math

 

 

Mulligan

 

Okay… that’s a stretch even for you

 

 

King

 

Is it?

 

 

Mulligan

 

Yes

 

 

King looks at Mulligan with a half kidding face

 

 

King

 

Is it?

 

 

Mulligan

 

Yes!

 

 

King looks at Mulligan with a more serious face

 

 

King

 

Is it really?

 

 

Mulligan

 

Yes, just because this place happens to be Asian does not mean it is some sort of front for the Yakuza

 

 

A surprised look comes across the face of King

 

 

King

 

Front? Wow I didn’t think about that. I just thought the Yakuza hung out here because their kind seem to like this food. But that’s a good theory

 

 

Mulligan

 

Oh god

 

 

King

 

Oh god what? You helped out our investigation

 

 

Mulligan

 

But now you will go and do something stupid and then Mitchell will yell at us

 

 

King

 

At me not you

 

 

Mulligan

 

I still need to sit through it

 

 

King

 

Trust me when I say this, if this goes the way I just thought about it will end great for us and Mitchell will be signing your name from the high hills… mine not so much… especially if it goes the other way I can think of and we make this place into a bullet riddled place and you have to do all the paper work and answer all the questions on why I decided to kill all the Yakuza before asking one question

 

 

Mulligan

 

Please don’t do that

 

 

Just as Mulligan says that the most Asian person you have seen in your whole entire lifetime and times that by say… fifty. Appears seemingly out of nowhere holding a tray with two fortune cookies. This is FONG SHWAY SON @tfong an 80’s Asian man.

 

 

Fong

 

Yes please sir do not kill everyone cause I no like death

 

 

King looks at the short Asian man and laughs

 

 

King

 

Let me guess you run the Yakuza right?

 

 

King laughs harder

 

 

King

 

We have to worry about a gang of short people and a mafia from a country that hasn’t done shit in like a thousand years

 

 

Mulligan

 

Calm down we don’t want to offend anyone

 

 

King

 

What is he going to do? Punch my shin?

 

 

King laughs harder as he stands up to leave

 

 

King

 

This is a waste of our time, if short Asian men want to peddle drugs out of here let them because at their height they are no threat to anything taller than a grasshopper

 

 

King grabs his fortune cookie and rips it open before tossing the cookie away

 

 

King

 

Get that shorty… grasshopper? Hahaha where do I come up with this shit?

 

 

King reads his fortune which reads “Ye he looks at himself in the mirror sees nothing looking back because they are dead and have no eyes to look with young grasshopper” King crumbles up the fortune thinking it has a deeper meaning. As he leaves the place he yells

 

 

King

 

Oh and the food is on you guys, we’re cops so we eat for free

 

 

Mulligan reads is fortune that reads “Get away from dead weight, his weight is going to weight you down” Mulligan shrugs and leaves the fortune on the table as he pays the short Asian man.

 

 

INT-CAR-DAY

 

Mulligan gets into the car and looks at King who is still laughing about the short Asian man.

 

 

Mulligan

 

Well that was a dead end

 

 

King

 

Is was not. I simply determined where the drugs are coming from

 

 

Mulligan

 

How?

 

 

King

 

I have my ways and now we have to go pay Dom a little visit

 

 

Mulligan

 

Oh god not Dom

 

 

King

 

Yes him, it will be quick and easy

 

 

EXT-STREET CORNER-DAY

 

 

Image result for slimy drug dealer

 

DOMMICK GREEN @Green a 20’s white male stands on the street corner smoking a cigarette as he asks random people if they are “in need” no one takes him up of his offer. Then out of nowhere Mulligan appears which scares him so he turns to run but runs right into King. This knocks him to the ground. King stands over here looking down.

 

King

 

 

Pathetic

 

 

King helps him up

 

 

Dom

 

What now? What are you going to arrest me on? Gay prostitution charges? Look… I know nothing. My ass still hurts from my last visit to the clink. So why not tell me now so I can prepare mentally

 

 

King smiles evilly

 

 

King

 

I won’t arrest you if you tell me what I want to hear

 

 

Dom

 

Why don’t you tell me what you want to hear and I will say it word for word to avoid the jail part

 

 

King

 

If I would tell you word for word what to say what help is that for me. I need to know the truth and nothing but it. I need to know where you get the drugs, I need names I need that and much more. Oh and most importantly I need it now

 

 

Mulligan

 

Please, he forgot to say please

 

 

King

 

No I didn’t

 

 

Dom looks around nervously as he lights a cigarette

 

 

Dom

 

Look man I can’t give you names and where I get shit

 

 

King grabs Dom

 

 

King

 

Already starting off bad for you

 

 

Dom

 

No, no, no… wait a second man.

 

 

Dom pauses as he looks up and down the street nervously as he lights another cigarette. King looks at him oddly

 

 

King

 

What’s with the smokes?

 

 

Mulligan

 

He always smokes two smokes when you are around

 

 

King shrugs

 

 

King

 

Out with it scum

 

 

Dom

 

Look man… I seen things

 

 

King

 

What kind of things?

 

 

Dom

 

Interesting things

 

 

King

 

What kind of interesting things?

 

 

Dom points at Mulligan then at King

 

 

Dom

 

Interesting things that you two might be interested in

 

 

King thinks for a second

 

 

King

 

Interesting! You’re coming with us

 

 

The episode fades to black

Edited by KingRobbie
  • 2 weeks later...

Review: I was so excited to read this and you didn't disappoint! I would watch this and thats a testament to your writing. Great job. Spelling and Grammar were good for the most part and it was a pretty good article in size too. Cant wait to read the next one.

  • Mr. Hickey changed the title to King & Mulligan S01E01 "Interesting Things" [Reviewed]
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