Claimed:Landry Named Captain, Misunderstands Role

[Doomsday 4,130]

Landry Named Captain, Misunderstands Role

 

DAVOS - Before the beginning of the 36th season of the Victory Hockey League, the members of the HC Davos Dynamo took a vote to elect their new captains. The first vote showed the faith the team had in each other, with a three-way tie the final result. However, after another vote, Thomas Landry was voted as the captain of Davos, with Sergey Brovalenko and Matt Bentley as assistant captains. Nearly immediately, it became clear that Landry was not quite clear what being a captain meant.

 

"Avast ye, mateys!" bellowed Landry following a team practice, steering around the ice on a Zamboni. "Set the rig to the starboard port and set sail for a championship!"

 

Apparently believing that he is now the captain of a ship, Landry has been spotted wearing a naval officer's uniform around team facilities, sometimes sporting an eye patch. Online records show that he has purchased a parrot from Guatemala and is eagerly tracking his new acquisition. However, that isn't the most endearing of Landry's new behaviors.

 

 

"He has this whistle he uses every single time he makes an announcement," said Shane Baker following a team practice. "Which just so happens to be very often. It has this peculiar way of piercing your ears and making you utterly powerless to resist his bizarre orders. Last time it happened, I ended up having to scrub the "deck," which is bogus because he already has the ice in pristine shape from driving that Zamboni everywhere."

 

But is Landry's eccentric behavior a positive influence? The Dynamo have won their first two games, including their season opener at home against the Quebec City Meute. Winning cures all ailments, so will this hold true for Davos?

 

"Tom is just having fun out there," said Davos' general manager, Victor Alfredsson. "I mean, just look at the way he has played so far this year. He's having fun, making him able to stay loose and focus on playing to the best of his abilities. He's done a great job so far and his line mates have really responded in a positive manner to his presence and abilities. You can't ask for more than that out of your captain. Did I mention we're winning?"

 

 

Alfredsson, however, refused to elaborate on rumors that Davos gained an edge on their competitors due to Captain Landry leading daring raids on the visiting teams' locker room, distracting them and robbing them of their focus and some critical supplies.

 

"I'm not going into detail about that," huffed a clearly agitated Alfredsson. "Those rumors are unfounded, baseless and completely untrue. Landry did no such thing and no proof will be found to prove he did any such thing because none exists."

 

Center Davey Jones, teammates again with Landry after being line mates for the Season 33 Founder's Cup champion Bratislava Watchmen, has been ecstatic since joining the Dynamo and it has become increasingly clear why.

 

 

"It's great to hang around and take the ice with Tommy again," said Jones after a practice. "Just like at Bratislava. We practice hard, then have fun off the ice. It's critical to have fun if you want to have any success in this league and Thomas Landry is a great guy to have around in order to make that happen."

 

Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, always a safe haven for scurvy swashbucklers. He enjoys rigging the mast, broadsiding Spanish galleons and teaching his parrot Jack fine swear words.

Edited January 3, 2014 by Doomsday

[Victor 10,940]

[BOOM 8,745]

[Kesler 1,514]

[Fire Tortorella 2,653]

Content: 3/3 - An entertaining piece about Landry and his "adventures" as captain. Hopefully Landry doesn't have a mutiny on his hands like most pirate captains do from everyone's favorite movie series about pirates. 

 

Grammar: 2/2 - Just one.

 

visiting teams' = visiting team's

 

Appearance: 1/1 - Captain Jack Sparrow.

 

Overall: 6/6

[Guest]

Claimed