Woods ironically signs for maximum salary

[TheMinimum 17]

Woods ironically signs for maximum salary

Thursday, September 7, 2017

 

 

Ottawa, ON--Emil Woods landed last night in the nation's capital ahead of his official unveiling as the Ottawa Lynx's newest member. He was picked up by general manager Beaviss in his black BMW X6 and driven to the Canadian Tire Centre to sign his contracts. Woods was told that every team had a starting goalie already, so he would be responsible for backup duties until he is ready or when the starter slips up. He told the manager that if he was going to be working hard in practice and not getting game time that he better be compensated nicely for his services. Ottawa promptly upped their offer to two million dollars making the backup the team's richest player. Woods then proceeded to order a custom gold-wrapped BMW i8 to support climate change, and donated one hundred thousand dollars to an unnamed charity organization in Ottawa.

[Gooningitup 1,290]

So Beevis is homeless then cuz he only made a mill to this point lol and spent it all on that car 

[Beaviss 4,958]

1 minute ago, Gooningitup said:

So Beevis is homeless then cuz he only made a mill to this point lol and spent it all on that car 

 

He got the car wrong I actually got a Austin Martin db9 

[Gudnason 607]

1 hour ago, Gooningitup said:

So Beevis is homeless then cuz he only made a mill to this point lol and spent it all on that car 

 

Um pretty sure BMW's don't cost a million unless you're in China, and even then...

Edited September 7, 2017 by punkhippie

[TheMinimum 17]

5 hours ago, Beaviss said:

 

He got the car wrong I actually got a Austin Martin db9 

 

I actually asked for a larger contract so I could get myself a Vulcan, but Beaviss said only one Aston Martin allowed at the practice arena. I guess I will wait until next year before I get a new car.