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Stand-Up Komedy EP1 "What's the deal with Refs" [1/2]


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Yes this is stand up comedy from my player Ko Kane.


You know what I find annoying? Hockey refs. They seem to go out of their way to be different. Everything from their ridiculous zebra uniform down to their little helmet that just screams if you even touch this I will get a concussion. Hockey refs are like soccer players. Soccer players get hit in the toe and go for their head as they are falling. I mean at least go for a body part in the general area of where you got hit. The distance between head and toe is like me saying I am walking to Moscow… while I am in Toronto.


 It’s almost like there is a disconnect between players or refs and their brain. Players make things look worse than it is and the refs just buy it. I’ve seen plays where the call would be tripping but they call slashing. A slash is not a trip. I can show you a slash and you would say why didn’t you just trip me instead. Because it’s not as fun.


Which brings me to my point that refs are not smart people. You know that feeling when you look at someone and thing damn that person isn’t smart. Well that’s what I think when I see a ref. Anyone who skates around a hockey rink without any protective equipment when a game is being played is a moron. Those players are hitting that puck around at fast speeds. They are wearing equipment that if they get hit it will reduce the pain. Still they get hurt. Refs are like no fuck that I don’t need that shit that might save me from a great deal of pain. Just give me skates and a helmet and I’ll be fine.


Well… you’re not fine when you get hit with a 100 mile an hour slap shot. But it’s like stubbing your toe. Your body doesn’t know the pain till you actually do it. Then your brain is yelling at you “WHY DID YOU DO THAT? FUCK THAT WASN’T SMART NOW OUR TOE HURTS” it’s like a rush of information all at the same time. Now imagine how much it hurts being hit by a speeding puck? Unpleasant cannot even describe it.


Almost like watching a player showboat after scoring a goal. If I was on the other team and I saw a player showboating after a goal I’d be pissed. That is why when you are losing and you are scored against you see fights soon after. Not to change the momentum but to be like “Fuck you! I’ll showboat with your face” even if it’s not the guy who showboated earlier. As long as he is watching you pummel the face of his team mate then you have done your job.


Which brings me to my last point. A celebration that I don’t quite understand is the players going for props and high fives at the bench. None of those players on the benched helped you get that goal. All they did was sit on their ass and watch you score. So what I would do is I would put my fist out for props also because I as a member of the other team have done as much as those players on your bench. I think I deserve a prop if they do.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Review: Yeah it seems like the requirements for referees are literally "Can you determine the difference between said call and another". The response being "Yeah the player was caught tripping him". Well seems like the job is yours son. It is pretty interesting that your player was doing stand up instead of doing a line of coke haha.

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  • DollarAndADream changed the title to Stand-Up Komedy EP1 "What's the deal with Refs" [1/2]

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